Author Topic: First appt- what to expect?  (Read 284 times)

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Offline CaelaNotKayla

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First appt- what to expect?
« on: September 22, 2020, 05:20:57 pm »
Hello everyone-

I have my first appointment with my gender therapist tomorrow, and i'm just wondering what I should realistically expect.  Based on my time with the grief counselor I'm expecting a back and forth conversation, with a frank discussion on how I see myself- with further drill down in future sessions. 

I'm asking because my kiddo met with their gender therapist for the first time yesterday and reported back that theirs effectively just said that they were there for them and they should talk to their MD- and started talking more about their life and my wife's death.  This sounded much like my grief counselor who really was outside their scope and comfort when talking about gender identity issues.

Thanks,

Caela
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Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: First appt- what to expect?
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2020, 05:53:38 pm »
@CaelaNotKayla
Dear Caela:
In my own experience, my first gender therapy appointment was primarily getting to know each other and to present my gender issues and other matters pertinent to transitioning.... nothing cast in stone in the first meeting. 

I would like to suggest that you give it at least 2 or 3 appointments and if you feel that you can go ahead then you should  see your doctor...  an Endocrinologist would be the best choice.  If your Endo Doctor feels satisfied then you can get going full steam ahead toward your transition goals.

Please keep us posted....   
HUGS,
Danielle

Hello everyone-

I have my first appointment with my gender therapist tomorrow, and i'm just wondering what I should realistically expect.  Based on my time with the grief counselor I'm expecting a back and forth conversation, with a frank discussion on how I see myself- with further drill down in future sessions. 

I'm asking because my kiddo met with their gender therapist for the first time yesterday and reported back that theirs effectively just said that they were there for them and they should talk to their MD- and started talking more about their life and my wife's death.  This sounded much like my grief counselor who really was outside their scope and comfort when talking about gender identity issues.

Thanks,

Caela

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Offline Rakel

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Re: First appt- what to expect?
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2020, 08:17:17 pm »
It seems like my first appointment was a lifetime ago and I can barely remember what we talked about.

I do remember being a bit direct and my first paragraph, I blurted out exactly why I was talking to her. I had gender issues since I can remember from my childhood. My therapist asked a few questions and I gave her truthful answers. After just a few sessions, I had my hormone letter.

Be honest and don't hold anything back. As Danielle said, the first session is more of a get to know you session. I told my therapist I was on Susan's Place for a number of years and I gave her my display name, so she could browse my previous statements online.

If you are questioning, then say so. If you are committed to transition, then say that. If you have any concerns or other issues, mention them. Your therapist has access to resources and other information that will help you make a proper decision.

Take care and let us know how it went.  :-*




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Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: First appt- what to expect?
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2020, 08:38:08 pm »
@Northern Star Girl
@Rakel

Thanks Danielle and Rakel!

That makes me feel better. I've been playing in my mind what to say, and I don't really see any point in talking to them if I can't be completely open and put it all out on the table.  I'm expecting this to take time- I know that I'll need to unpack not just gender but grief too, so my own timeline is that it will probably be more than a few appointments.  But I needed to hear what to expect for the first one- to ease my worried mind :)

Hugs!

Caela
My Blog Thread - The Chronicles of Caela

Who knew it'd be so bright without the blindfold - Demi Lovato

Online sarahc

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Re: First appt- what to expect?
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2020, 03:17:27 pm »
Sorry I missed this...hope things went well today. I would hope that your experience with a gender therapist was a lot more fulfilling than the one with the grief counselor.

Given the long back-history that most of us have being transgender, it does take several sessions for you and the therapist to get to know one another - I think it took me 5-6 sessions just to go through all aspects of my personal situation and all of the little complexities related to my transition that I was contemplating. I did most of the talking during those sessions.

And keep in mind that this is likely going to be a years-long relationship, so be somewhat patient in giving it a chance to grow. But if after a few sessions you're having anything less than a positive experience, definitely consider alternatives.

Sarah
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48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: First appt- what to expect?
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2020, 03:34:18 pm »
Sorry I missed this...hope things went well today. I would hope that your experience with a gender therapist was a lot more fulfilling than the one with the grief counselor.

Given the long back-history that most of us have being transgender, it does take several sessions for you and the therapist to get to know one another - I think it took me 5-6 sessions just to go through all aspects of my personal situation and all of the little complexities related to my transition that I was contemplating. I did most of the talking during those sessions.

And keep in mind that this is likely going to be a years-long relationship, so be somewhat patient in giving it a chance to grow. But if after a few sessions you're having anything less than a positive experience, definitely consider alternatives.

Sarah
@sarahc

Thanks Sarah-  It went really well today.  It was one of the most thought-organizing, cathartic, affirming conversations that I've ever had in my life- and we're just getting started. Her questions were caring, to the point, and really helped me in my own thinking about my desires and intentions.  I felt comfortable, and it was easy to talk about even the more darker periods of my life.   My hesitations are gone- I'm looking forward to the next session and continuing the conversation.

Hugs!

Caela
My Blog Thread - The Chronicles of Caela

Who knew it'd be so bright without the blindfold - Demi Lovato

Offline Mariah

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Re: First appt- what to expect?
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2020, 04:43:01 pm »
The first appointment is almost always getting to know you. It really puts in place the foundation for future appointments along with what your needing and wanting to accomplish. Hugs
Mariah
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Online sarahc

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Re: First appt- what to expect?
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2020, 04:53:19 pm »
@sarahc

Thanks Sarah-  It went really well today.  It was one of the most thought-organizing, cathartic, affirming conversations that I've ever had in my life- and we're just getting started. Her questions were caring, to the point, and really helped me in my own thinking about my desires and intentions.  I felt comfortable, and it was easy to talk about even the more darker periods of my life.   My hesitations are gone- I'm looking forward to the next session and continuing the conversation.

Hugs!

Caela

Oh that is so wonderful to hear! That sounds very similar to my reaction to my first therapy session - I loved it!

I have to say...I think that transgender folks can have some of the most positive relationships with their therapist. Most of us have been bottling things up for so long, we’re just dying to blab it all out to someone who understands and has seen it before.

Sarah
----
48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

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