Author Topic: Finally found a Therapist  (Read 438 times)

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Offline VivianB

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Finally found a Therapist
« on: September 29, 2020, 02:21:30 pm »
After years and years of searching I finally found a therapist and made an appointment. Lately my dysphoria has gotten worse and I debated whether or not to call, So I added the Therapist number to my phone and stared at it for about an hour. I decided to just give up and close it out and I accidently hit dial, so now I have an appointment next week. I am very nervous about it.

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Finally found a Therapist
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2020, 02:37:24 pm »
@VivianB
Dear Vivian:
This is wonderful news....   a good therapist can be a really big help in getting our thoughts and our lives in order.
Be nervous at first is quite normal but as you get into more conversations with your therapist you will be more at ease.

Please, only as you feel comfortable doing, continue to share your
experiences with your therapist and with your journey.

HUGS and more HUGS,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Finally found a Therapist
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2020, 04:46:18 pm »
A good gender therapist can do wonders for your understandings.

I hope that this all works out very well for you!

Be yourself and try to relax.   Share out to the best extent you can feel okay to do so.
As you talk more, over time, your comfort level should increase.

Congratulations on setting up the appointment!    :)


Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline VivianB

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Re: Finally found a Therapist
« Reply #3 on: September 30, 2020, 03:33:57 pm »
Is there anything I need to be prepared for meeting with a transgender therepist?

Offline SarahEL

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Re: Finally found a Therapist
« Reply #4 on: September 30, 2020, 03:56:55 pm »
Well done - therapy is great. And that subconscious slip of the finger, that is fate.

There is not really anything to know - just go to see them, be yourself and talk honestly. It will be absolutely fine...


Good luck (and don't fret about it in the mean-time!)..
Oh, life is bigger,  It's bigger Than you and you are not me
The lengths that I will go to.  The distance in your eyes

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Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Finally found a Therapist
« Reply #5 on: September 30, 2020, 03:58:49 pm »
Is there anything I need to be prepared for meeting with a transgender therapist?
@VivianB
Dear Vivian:
Just be yourself and try to share ALL of your feelings, desires and issues.... do not hold back.
A good therapist will ask all the right questions if you get too nervous....   but this is your big chance to tell your therapist all about yourself.

It is normal to be nervous at first but as you get to know your therapist and your therapist gets to know you, the nervousness will settle down.

Wishing you well, wishing you success and happiness.
I will be looking for your updates but only as you feel comfortable sharing.

HUGS,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline sarahc

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Re: Finally found a Therapist
« Reply #6 on: September 30, 2020, 09:39:28 pm »
So I added the Therapist number to my phone and stared at it for about an hour.

Yep - I've been there! Wracking my brain whether this is something I really want to pursue. Several times I would enter the number and then lock my phone. Completely nerve-wracking just trying to make the call.

Eventually, I got over the hump and made the appointment. And yes, that week before the appointment created a bunch of nervous tension.

But going to therapy was an excellent decision. I work with an experienced gender therapist. She is great, and I enjoy therapy.

And I think a high proportion of trans folks who go to experienced gender therapists really enjoy therapy because they finally get to blab all the secrets they've been hiding for years / decades to someone who has seen it all before and can empathize and guide you. Based on many others' past experiences, I think there is a very good chance that this will be one of the most positive experiences of your life. In particular, you should read this very recent thread of a positive first therapy session experience:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,254242.msg2388723.html#msg2388723

So stay upbeat - it's going to be awesome!

Sarah
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48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: Finally found a Therapist
« Reply #7 on: October 01, 2020, 02:27:02 am »
Is there anything I need to be prepared for meeting with a transgender therepist?
Vivian-

@sarahc linked to my first gender therapy experience, and I can tell you that just be yourself, be completely open, and don't hold anything back.  The more honest you can be with your therapist (and yourself) the more effective the session will be.  Going into my first appointment I had built up a lot of nervous worry and concern- I didn't know what to expect, I previously had sessions with other non-specialized therapists that had good intentions but not the experience.  When my appointment came around and I was actually on the call my therapist made it very easy to talk- the floodgates opened, and I could hardly stop talking.  My second session went just as well! 

Congratulations on making this step, and I hope your experience is as positive as mine is!

Hugs!

Caela
My Blog Thread - The Chronicles of Caela

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Offline VivianB

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Re: Finally found a Therapist
« Reply #8 on: October 03, 2020, 09:13:59 am »
Is it normal to have a lot of doubts just before your first session?

Offline sarahc

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Re: Finally found a Therapist
« Reply #9 on: October 03, 2020, 09:43:00 am »
Is it normal to have a lot of doubts just before your first session?

Yes!!! Very normal.

Sarah

----
48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: Finally found a Therapist
« Reply #10 on: October 03, 2020, 12:08:53 pm »
Is it normal to have a lot of doubts just before your first session?
Vivian-

Yes it is.  I had a ton of doubts before my first session with the gender therapist- and I had already been talking to a grief counselor and generally knew how the sessions would work!  For me it was hard to think of letting go of some of my innermost thoughts, without anonymity, into the unknown of how someone would react.  My therapist within the first few minutes set me and my doubts at ease.

Hugs!

Caela
My Blog Thread - The Chronicles of Caela

Who knew it'd be so bright without the blindfold - Demi Lovato

Offline VivianB

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Re: Finally found a Therapist
« Reply #11 on: October 03, 2020, 01:46:05 pm »
I asked cause my doubts seem to have got worse over the years, I can definitely say that dysphoria does not get better with age.
« Last Edit: October 03, 2020, 02:57:46 pm by VivianB »

Offline sarahc

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Re: Finally found a Therapist
« Reply #12 on: October 03, 2020, 04:24:41 pm »
I asked cause my doubts seem to have got worse over the years, I can definitely say that dysphoria does not get better with age.

Here's the logical way to think about this...

What is the downside from going to one therapy session? If you don't like it, if it doesn't feel right, you're out a wee bit of money - that's it.

And the upside if it goes well? Maaaaaasive, huuuuuuge, life-changing.

I know this seems hard, I completely understand why it seems scary (trust me, I get it!). But the decision to try therapy with a gender therapist after years of dysphoria is a total no-brainer.

Sarah
----
48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Finally found a Therapist
« Reply #13 on: October 03, 2020, 04:40:20 pm »
Getting good gender related therapy is, well, therapeutic!   :)

I think if the therapist is experienced with gender issues you should find the sessions helpful unless you just do not click personality wise. 

You can also check YouTube and other sources for videos on what to expect from gender therapy.
They are there but I have never watched the ones on YouTube.

I will say though, based on my experience, that I think that gender therapy is a helpful process to go through.

Chrissy


Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline VivianB

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Re: Finally found a Therapist
« Reply #14 on: October 03, 2020, 10:28:51 pm »
After my appointment I will post about how it went. I am both nervous and excited, it is like whirlwind of feeling and emotions and my appointment isn't till Thursday. I hope I can hold out till then.

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