Blog.. part 4..
Essentially this is the story of 2020..
So let’s go back to the start of the year… where my new life had really just started.. it was exciting as everything just started to come together and I really started to enjoy being me.. becoming comfortable with who I am.
We had sold our house in November 2019, moved into an apartment and I’d finally got a permanent job which I started in mid December.. My ex-wife and I are living in our rented apartment together as friends and not as former partners.It felt so different and yet comfortable.
I’d been working on building a new wardrobe finally, with quite a bit of clothes and shoe shopping..
Work was great, and being comfortable and fitting in with the girls at work was fantastic. Yet another fear was easing into non-reality. I was included in the girl circle at work and it felt normal, comfortable and great. It took a bit of getting used to early on. I quickly had to become accustomed to girl talk which is significantly different to what I had been used to..and well the definition of TMI got significantly adjusted in my mind. It’s all part of just getting used to life and adjusting to the surroundings. I was being invited out by my work friends to drinks and events and I finally had a the start of a normal social life.
Come February I had just bought my own car. A Mini Cooper S.. My new life had really become comfortable. So I’d felt that it was time. I’d been thinking about it for a while, and even though I just kind of knew all the time that I’d need to go all the way to surgery, I also needed to see through each stage of the whole journey one step at a time. So, it was time, time that I accepted that I needed to take the next and final step in the journey.
After reaching the happiness and genuine belief in being me, I knew that I was ready to take the step and decide on having GCS surgery. I needed to do this, for my inner happiness. Yes, I could probably live without it. However, to be able to really be ‘me’ and live happily this is something I need to do. For me.
So there it was. I was happy and getting comfy with my life..
And then Covid really hit.. sigh.. I’ll leave that for a separate story…
It was around this time where my ex-wife and I had been discussing formalising our divorce. This created quite a bit of unusual emotions. Peace, sadness and a bit of something which I didn’t quite understand. We sorted things out with our solicitor, and found out that the arrangements were a bit different due to Covid but it would take about the same time.. Nearing the end of March, the divorce was approved..
I felt happy, and yet strange.. It was like some kind of finality, or realisation. My psychologist described it as a form of grief. The kind where you are actually happy, but subconsciously you are grieving some kind of loss.
Emotionally, Covid was having an impact. I was working from home since the first week of March.. After a month of WFH, alone in our apartment was a bit challenging. Here’s an interesting change, I was actually missing the social aspect of work.. Many years ago I would have enjoyed it, not now. My psych tells me to exercise more..
Now I receive a letter from my GP, saying that he is leaving. This causes a lot of stress and anxiety. I have to find another GP who’s friendly and supportive of LGBTI people.. Luckily I found another GP in the same practice that’s as good as the one I was seeing.. phew. After our first appointment I was able to start discussing surgery..
After months of reading and researching surgery options, I have a list of what I’d like and what I can accept.. I have my referral and book an appointment with Dr Kieran Hart in Canberra.. I’ve been looking at the Peritoneal Pull-through Vaginoplasty (PPV) technique quite a lot, reading many research papers I had access to. I put a bit of a case together to discuss with the surgeon.
I had previously looked into surgery options, including overseas opportunities. I really didn’t want to deal with the overseas option for many reasons. As I had recently joined a private health fund, I knew I would be paying for the total cost as there’s a 12-month waiting period for ‘pre-existing conditions’, and I wasn’t going to wait the 12-months if I could organise it.
It’s now June. WFH alone is becoming really old, and my exercise regime is getting impacted by tons of other people now deciding to take up running in the area around where I live by the lake.. The date of my appointment with Dr Hart has arrived. Lots of anticipation and excitement has built ahead of the day. It was super pleasing to see how professional and yet quite laid back he was.. Clearly he just knew what he was doing.. As a qualified urologist who studied GCS surgery in one of the more prestigious hospitals in the UK added to the equation quite a bit.
The discussion on the PPV technique didn’t quite go as I’d hoped, but he was clearly interested in going down that path. He didn’t seem ready to do PPV as a primary surgery just yet.. I did pass on my research, much of which he knew of already. Hmm.. So, I had kinda resigned that I had to think about my options here.. Penile inversion now, or wait until he was ready to do PPV..
I took a nearly a month to think it all through, and I finally got in touch with the surgery to book in a date.. Then, I got a message say the Dr wanted to talk to me about surgery options. It was an interesting phone call, which in the end it was agreed that he would do the robotic PPV technique. The hospital had a surgery room setup with the latest Davinci robot for laparoscopic surgery. So it looked all amazingly positive.
I received the first parts of the paperwork and I was surprised at the surgery date… It was on my 51st Birthday.. ok. I need to think this through. I had an alternative date in December, but I’m not sure that I want to be recovering over Christmas and New Year’s.. After discussing it with my close friends, I agreed that it was best to take the date and celebrate my birthday by having the surgery on the day. It will be the best birthday present ever.. Yes, I’ll be getting a vagina for my birthday..
I received all the paperwork and quotes. Surgeon, anaesthesiologist, theatre costs, 10-days hospital stay. It all added up to about AUD$49,750. There’s some rebates from Medicare which will reduce my total cost, but I was going to obtain the funds from my Superannuation account.
There’s a mechanism where you can obtain early access to part of your superannuation for specific reasons, one of which is medical. There’s conditions to this, and I required supporting letters from my GP, and a specialist. I was looking to withdraw it from one of the two super accounts I have, which is the one I can’t do anything with. There special conditions on this super, and it’s not earning me much plus the balance will be just enough to cover the surgery and the tax I need to pay to withdraw it. After receiving all the letters and quotes, I submitted paperwork to the ATO (Australian Tax Office) for approval. It was long before I got the letter of approval. The next step was to submit the request to the Super company. After a week or two, I finally had the money in my account.
Ok… now I’m ready.. I confirmed the surgery date and arrangements with the surgeons office and started the pre-admission paperwork.. wow. It’s happening.
To be continued....
Angie
