Community Conversation > Significant Others talk

Advice for my teen

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SarahEL:
Hi Nickymon...  Do not worry about being shocked at first - most people tend to hide their gender issues well for quite some time..
Being a listening, non-judgmental parent... someone whom they know they can trust and will keep their confidences will be the best support you can be... and if they have not already, talking to a trained professional gender therapist will be a very good first step.
You can find these privately, or if your child visits their GP they can get an appointment with the local services near you.
Personally, from knowing the waiting times and the quality (just my experience) I would look for a suitably qualified therapist privately near by... Most do skype or zoom consultations with the current situation and so they should be able to talk to someone in a reasonable time.
Can I just say a great 'well done' to you for coming on here and showing your child such support.... I really wish more parents were so pro-active.

Allie Jayne:
Hi Nickymum!  I also think it’s great you are seeking help to support your son, but the first thing you should do is find a gender specialist and have him assessed. It is so important to know where he is at so you can provide the right support for him. Then learn all you can about being trans, again so you know how to approach this.

Start here :  http://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2016/gender-lines-science-transgender-identity/

Hugs,

Allie

sarahc:
You did the most important thing, which was to provide love and support. You cannot imagine how valuable it is for a gender-questioning child to know that their parent is an ally.

I know things can be challenging in the UK when it comes to getting access to health resources, but finding a gender therapist for your child is the other valuable thing you can provide at this time. Really try to get a therapist experienced with gender issues if at all possible.

Otherwise, give your child some space to work through things with the therapist and always offer your supportive and loving ear.

Sarah

CaelaNotKayla:
Nickymom-

Hello and welcome to the community.  I know how hard this is for you- my oldest came out to me and my wife several years ago.  The first thing that you can do (and it sounds like you are) is to be supportive- even if you don't fully understand everything.  Neither is your oldest child- they are in a phase of discovery, now just a little more in the open.  Being supportive and giving them unconditional is a good start.  Talking to a qualified gender therapist is something that I would highly recommend to help them work through the process. 

Hugs!

Caela

Nickymum:
Thanks everyone so much for the helpful support and advice. It means so much to me that everyone has been so understanding and kind.

I thinking seeking some access to health resources and talking to an expert is some great advice. I will certainly do this.

I will keep everyone updated and I hope to become a regular poster on here.

Hugs to everyone on here and thanks again xxxx

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