Ah, here we are again. I've been responding to such posts for a long time and I'll keep doing it. First of all, I'd love for you to transcend belittling the idea of sexual crossdressing as "just a 'fetish"/"kink'". That is literally as narrow minded as calling gay people perverts. Sexual expression comes in many, many forms and crossdressing for sexual stimulation is simply one of them-- and as valid and worthy of respect as anything in the LGBT-etc list.
As Robyn indicated, anyone can have sexual fantasies related to gender manifestation, regardless of identity. Identity is the issue you're struggling with and it's a very different matter.
The problem people often have with this is often externally sourced. It is much easier to fit into society thinking of yourself as either a "man" or a "woman" than as a feminine appearing male. Many people have pushed themselves into hormonal or even surgical transition only to realize later that is was not for them.
How you deal with this is you don't rush. Give youself time to try things gradually and understand yourself. This is very much a matter of if in doubt, don't. Continue learning about yourself and don't feel pressured by society-- or even transgender web forums-- to fit into a cookie cutter role.
