Author Topic: Hi, Im 23 year old non binary person early in realization  (Read 164 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Cismalli

  • Newbie
  • **
  • Posts: 20
  • Reputation: +2/-0
  • Gender: Androgyne
Hi, Im 23 year old non binary person early in realization
« on: October 28, 2020, 06:47:42 am »
Hi,
My name is brandon.
Im a 23 year old amab dude who realized they are 100% non binary. but im still early in...well being more myself. i dont know how much to say get into. its great, and its stressful and its overwhelming. when i was younger i just a pathertic excuse for a man. i didnt felt like i belonged, but i felt i had to. i didnt feel like a guy. i didnt feel i was ever one of them. but i also wasnt a girl. i tried to overcompensate and didnt even realise. when i felt comfortable people teased me for a pretty boy. even when i was young called gay , which frustrated me for a reasons, that even if there was a possibility i wasnt straight, i obviously liked girls. in a natural way. so i tried rebel in the wrong way. ive stupid things, done bad things. but i want to  change that. i just want to be comfortable and happy. i finally dont feel like a freak, but because of the way i present, im worried people im  <not allowed> about being enby .and i know what everybodys gonna say, dont worry about what everybody else says. i just feel like an outsider. not straight and cis enough, not gay and queer enough. im not after pity or people to feel sorrow, id just love to make some connections while i am in this tough place. sorry if i sound soppy and whiny. i promise i am positive, just a rough patch . 
« Last Edit: October 28, 2020, 09:38:36 am by Northern Star Girl »

Offline Rakel

  • Formerly known as Dani
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 3,533
  • Reputation: +48/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Rakel@susans.org
Re: Hi, Im 23 year old non binary person early in realization
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2020, 07:47:19 pm »
Good evening Brandon,

It sounds to me like you are trying to live up to other people's expectation for you. Many of us do exactly that. Internally I felt soft and compassionate, but I did not look the part, so people expected something entirely different.

It wasn't until my later years, that I decided to accept myself as I was and if other people did not like what I was, then I really did not care what they thought.

Accepting myself was the single most important thing I did. It was then I felt the freedom to live the rest of my life as I wished. This made transition possible for me, because that is what I needed.

Whatever in the future you decide to do, is your decision to make. Everybody else can just step aside or embrace your courage to be yourself.

From what you have written today, I really suggest professional counselling. A one paragraph comment on a forum such as Susan's Place, is a very brief encounter and may not help you to fully explore all of your personal issues.

Take care and let us know how things are going for you.




_______________________________________________________________

Retired Pharmacist with over 40 years experience in Hospital and Retail Pharmacies.
I still keep my professional licence active and in good standing.


Tags: