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The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'

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Just to forewarn in advance, I'm not going to be on top of this blog as much as I would like.

But, I thought today was a fitting day to start it.   After some complications here in my province (NB, if anyone hasn't guessed yet), my GP here is actually working alongside my VA clinic which is on the US side of the border, and I'm now on Day-1 of Estradiol (transdermal).

We're also having to sort out our current living situation, divorce, co-parenting, etc.   But, I now know even more, that I'm in it for the long haul, and I am going to continue to be the best parent to my five wonderful kids, best friend to my wife (even amid the divorce), and, really, the best I've ever been in my life, as far as my own self goes.     

I love my wife and my kids very much....I never wanted to put them through this.  But, had I not finally accepted myself, the results would have been much worse, as I would not have been alive today to be here for them now, even if it is in a different capacity.

Anyhow, there's my first blog post!   


Congratulations on starting HRT AND congratulations on starting your new blog!  Our paths bring us a lot of change in our lives, and I've found writing about mine to be cathartic and empowering!  Good luck with two big steps on your journey!



Congratulations on your first blog post.. I am hooked already!! cannot wait to follow your journey...

Northern Star Girl:
Dear TSL_NB:
As you might already know if you have read many of my postings and comments around the Forums I always make the suggestion to members that keeping a journal is good therapy.   Not only with our own journal/Blog threads but also I always recommend keeping a more private and personal "old-school" Pen&Paper journal at home.   

I keep personal journal at my home which is full of colorful doodling, sometimes illegible and hurried writing, snapshot photos, notes about doctors appointments, my romantic endeavors, my coming out trials and tribulations, and other writings about those that I am friends with, those that accept me, those that do not accept me, and my issues with my non-accepting parents and family, etc, etc.
I find that it is definitely very good personal therapy to write out my feelings and venting...  and ponder my situations in my journal.  Just writing out these things can help me to sort out my priorities and to find ways to help positively solve my issues.

I am so very glad to see that you have now started your own BLOG/journal here on the Forums.
When you report good news we will all rejoice with you and be happy for you... and when you write not-so-good news we will lend you our ears to listen and our shoulders for you to lean on.   We are your biggest fans and we are always rooting for your success and happiness.

My "at home" home journals (I have several now) are not in any kind of a fancy book and not with a clever cover...  mine are rather plain 3 ring notebooks that allows for adding pages and inserting lots of notes and scribbles and some  photos too.   
Whatever works for you is important, after-all it is YOUR JOURNAL to do with what you want.

I often find myself leafing through some of the past entrees of my BLOG/journal postings here on the Forums and my personal journals that I keep at home and will sit and read it for hours on a cold rainy night sitting in my comfy chair sometimes with a smile and laughter, sometimes with satisfaction with my decisions,  and sometimes with tears in my eyes.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts....  I will be eagerly following your postings.
Hugs and best wishes to you....

Wow....@Caela, @Sarah, @Danielle....thank you so much!

That's really kind and encouraging. :)

So, I guess this is the next entry. ;)

I've only been on this 24 hours now, and I think I had my first official hot flash (which actually woke me up overnight).

But, I have to say, I haven't washed so many dishes, and cleaned up so many messes with this much vigour and energy.

Pretty much, my daily routine begins with getting up, having what some would consider to be a horrific morning beverage (black tea with instant coffee added, but I swear by it), then after that, it's getting the younger kids' lunches together, and their breakfast, and getting them out the door.

After that, I'm off to my day job (working remotely is something I've already been doing for five years now, so the COVID impact really didn't change much in that regard).  But, I can already feel a difference in how I am reacting to things, how I am handling things, etc.

And, speaking of which, my work day has finished, so we now have to go and make sure the kids eat, and then it's off to their skating lessons. 

All things considered, my wife and I are doing well parenting together, even if we're not a 'couple,' per se.  And, I'm glad just to have her in my life in any capacity. :)


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