Author Topic: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'  (Read 5172 times)

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Offline RandiL

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #20 on: November 23, 2020, 12:34:32 am »
My goodness, this is fast response indeed! Consider yourself lucky (I think). I'm going to start my own blog and will post my HRT experiences there, but I've only had a single shot so far. Definite effects, but I expect more after my second shot tomorrow.

I'm so glad you get along well with your wife and the various families. That will make a big difference to have such good support.
My apologies....there's been a lot going on at this end, and I really haven't had the opportunity to update anything, but here goes.

It's now Day-17, almost three full weeks on the patch.  My mood and emotional swings have been, well, random, to say the least.   I've also had to carry a heavier load of having to look after all of the kids more, as the three older girls' dad went into the hospital with double pneumonia (the three older girls are my stepkids).

He's already suffered from an advanced form of Parkinsons for the past several years, so with this added, we're really having to keep a close watch on him.   

A lot of people are surprised how well we get along, but that side of the family is my family too, even if it doesn't have a textbook definition.  And, I've come out to them as well, and they accept me.  I'm really fortunate in that regard.

Beyond that, I've dealt with another round of the whole 'Coleman stove' effect in my upper area.   And, for the first time, I tried flexing my pectoral muscles, and can discern that, well, there's now more there than just muscle....that's exciting. :)

It seems really fast, though...it hasn't even been three weeks, and this is already starting?
Forging my new, best life as Randi

My personal blog thread: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

My HRT thread: Randi's HRT Journal


Offline TSL_NB

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #21 on: November 23, 2020, 12:19:29 pm »
My goodness, this is fast response indeed! Consider yourself lucky (I think). I'm going to start my own blog and will post my HRT experiences there, but I've only had a single shot so far. Definite effects, but I expect more after my second shot tomorrow.

I'm so glad you get along well with your wife and the various families. That will make a big difference to have such good support.

Thanks, Randy!  The fact that my wife and I, even though not romantically involved, are doing well together, makes a huge difference. :)

I wouldn't mind moving to injections, but I'll take the patches for now.

@Caela - you're a champion ,full stop! :)
It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline TSL_NB

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #22 on: November 23, 2020, 12:25:58 pm »
I only have a couple of seconds to update.  All of the kids are home this week, as one of the schools had a COVID exposure, so no one is going back to school for the moment.

It's now been three full weeks, and not a whole lot has changed since the weekend.

But, one thing I am very thankful for, is that, for as long back as I can remember, I had to contend with psoriasis in some for or another, be it on my face, scalp, legs, or all three, which was pretty horrible.   

Since coming out, the overall stress in life was reduced, so the impact of my flareups wasn't quite as bad.   

But, since the skin changes started happening since the estradiol was introduced, it's now COMPLETELY gone.

I've never, ever NOT had to deal with psoriasis before.  This part is blowing me away, I wasn't expecting this to just be completely cured, but I'm very thankful. :)

(I've done a little research on it, and low estrogen shares a pretty strong link to having psoriasis flareups.  A lot of the studies involved cis women who were in menopause, and that makes me think of my time prior to being myself even more as 'backwards menopause.' )
 
It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #23 on: November 23, 2020, 06:50:51 pm »
My kids have been home for about 10 months so far- and no sign of being able to go back at all!  Enjoy it- I've really come to enjoy hanging out with my kids- it's been kind of the reverse of the teens wanting to get away from their parents!

Good news about the psoriasis!  That is a very providential side effect for you, and one I haven't heard of much- but if it works for you run with it!

Hugs!

Caela
My Blog Thread - The Chronicles of Caela

Who knew it'd be so bright without the blindfold - Demi Lovato

Offline TSL_NB

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #24 on: December 01, 2020, 07:48:37 am »
My kids have been home for about 10 months so far- and no sign of being able to go back at all!  Enjoy it- I've really come to enjoy hanging out with my kids- it's been kind of the reverse of the teens wanting to get away from their parents!

Good news about the psoriasis!  That is a very providential side effect for you, and one I haven't heard of much- but if it works for you run with it!

Hugs!

Caela

Thanks, Caela! Having my skin be this clear is another good confidence booster, definitely. :)

I try to enjoy what time I can with the kids - the dynamics of having a blended family, alongside our older middle one still recovering from her head injury nine months later, and my still supporting our other income source (we have multiple dogs here, which I help look after and clean up after, which takes the majority of the day, sometimes), that definitely cuts into any free time.
It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline TSL_NB

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #25 on: December 01, 2020, 07:59:11 am »
I'm sorry, everyone.  I haven't really had an opportunity to post an update, but I quickly wanted to do one while I had some down time.

The 1-month point has now passed, and while I don't see a whole lot in the upper area, I can still definitely feel things changing there.   

I think my hands have actually become a bit thinner as well (they never were really large, but even more so, they feel a lot more slender).   

Beyond that, I think this will be a pretty unpredictable Christmas.  I'm not sure if we will be under the same roof, much less how family gatherings will go (COVID obviously will throw everything out of whack, but even with that, it's more likely the household will split in two before the end of the year).
It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #26 on: December 01, 2020, 12:46:16 pm »
@TSL_NB

Hugs dear- time and patience seems to be the common thread with everyone on HRT.   

I think Christmas will be quite crazy for everyone this year- we're in lockdown now, and the numbers aren't going in the right direction so we will probably still be in lockdown over Christmas- and like you this would be a very different Christmas for me and my family even without our friend the Coronavirus.  You will be in my thoughts throughout the holidays this year. Stay safe!

Hugs!

Caela
My Blog Thread - The Chronicles of Caela

Who knew it'd be so bright without the blindfold - Demi Lovato

Offline TSL_NB

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #27 on: December 04, 2020, 08:01:33 pm »
@TSL_NB

Hugs dear- time and patience seems to be the common thread with everyone on HRT.   

I think Christmas will be quite crazy for everyone this year- we're in lockdown now, and the numbers aren't going in the right direction so we will probably still be in lockdown over Christmas- and like you this would be a very different Christmas for me and my family even without our friend the Coronavirus.  You will be in my thoughts throughout the holidays this year. Stay safe!

Hugs!

Caela

Thanks, Caela!   You and your kids will be in mine as well. :)
It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline TSL_NB

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #28 on: December 07, 2020, 10:58:20 am »
Hey, everyone.  Again, my apologies this is short, and I'm really sorry for not responding to your blogs as well.   Time (or lack of) is a difficult wave to ride.

It's the 5-week mark now, and my top has been basically continuously burning for the past four days.  My wife says she can tell I'm growing on that part, even though I don't really see too much, myself.

We also had a big blowup last Friday.  She's been very patient and kind with me, but I think she's held in a lot more, and it came out rather unpleasantly.   At the moment, I've been lucky enough to find an apartment here in the same town where we live, so we're going to continue to parent together for the kids' sake (thankfully, it's a month-by-month lease, so if things take a different direction, I'm not locked into some long commitment, apartment-wise).   

I guess one positive detail about having the apartment, is that I'll finally have more of a chance to do some makeup practice (really, at this point, I don't have a big drive to wear it everyday, but just to have the skill would be nice).
It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #29 on: December 07, 2020, 01:38:13 pm »
@TSL_NB

Hugs dear!  I know that you are going through a lot right now, but I think it's good that even with the blowups that you can both see the importance of looking after the kiddos.  I know this isn't what you would have wanted, but you will have the room now to be more yourself.

Makeup practice will be good.... I did my makeup every day early on getting comfortable with doing it, leaving it on for a few minutes then taking it off until I felt I had progressed enough to going out.  My "baby" pictures look pretty horrid as I was working through it- but I kept at it and have gotten OK at it...  It was a lot harder for me to get a normal everyday look than the dressy glam look. 

Hugs!

Caela
My Blog Thread - The Chronicles of Caela

Who knew it'd be so bright without the blindfold - Demi Lovato

Offline TSL_NB

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #30 on: December 17, 2020, 03:19:16 pm »
@TSL_NB

Hugs dear!  I know that you are going through a lot right now, but I think it's good that even with the blowups that you can both see the importance of looking after the kiddos.  I know this isn't what you would have wanted, but you will have the room now to be more yourself.

Makeup practice will be good.... I did my makeup every day early on getting comfortable with doing it, leaving it on for a few minutes then taking it off until I felt I had progressed enough to going out.  My "baby" pictures look pretty horrid as I was working through it- but I kept at it and have gotten OK at it...  It was a lot harder for me to get a normal everyday look than the dressy glam look. 

Hugs!

Caela

Thanks, Caela....hugs back to you!

I'm sorry, everyone....I've been bogged down with the moving, and still having to work, and internet horror stories at the apartment, and taking care of my kids, and so forth.....

I'll try to update more as soon as I can, but I'm still alive and kicking. :)
It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline TSL_NB

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #31 on: December 20, 2020, 11:26:37 am »
Okay, so again, my apologies for being a bit short here, but I'll squeeze in what I can -

It's now into week-7, and my upper area is really, REALLY uber-sensitive, and I'm seeing what looks like real growth (nothing really noticeable to others who don't look closely, but I can tell).

The whole shaving/hair removal routine has become almost intolerable, but I'm making myself go through with it, because I'd be in an even worse state if I left it.

As far as the family/living situation goes, we're finally getting into a routine between the house and apartment that's working out, and my wife and I are still working together as a team....it has its hard points, but I'm just thankful we have this time together.

On a more fun note, I got my first bottle of nail polish in the mail.  Nails Inc. vegan friendly, and it's the colour called 'Victoria,' and that is just an AWESOME colour, if any one has seen it. 

(I saw that on QVC Fashion, where I have a freesat stream, and I just thought....'I don't care if I'm all the way over here in Canada.  I'm getting that!')

If I don't get back on before next weekend, I hope everyone has a good Holiday and Boxing Day!  I'm thinking of you. :)

-Vivian (TSL_NB)
It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline SarahEL

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #32 on: December 20, 2020, 11:42:46 am »
Wow TSL_NB  first bottle of nail polish.. what a great thing to get.. I looked the colour up, it is lovely.. I am sure it will be the first of many.. I love my polishes.. and unfortunately now have bags of them.. I threw a load out the other day!!

It sounds as if the arrangements are finding some settling between you all too... it does take time but I am sure routines will form and it becomes a normality for you all.. I know just how hard all this change is and you have my sympathy. It will get better..

Good news on your early signs with the HRT.. nearly at the 2 month mark.. it is amazing how quickly this time passes, soon it will be a year.. then two.. and the changes are slow but certainly seen over those timescales.. So, just enjoy the journey..

Sending you hugs.. hoping you have a great holiday season..
Oh, life is bigger,  It's bigger Than you and you are not me
The lengths that I will go to.  The distance in your eyes

R.E.M. - Losing My Religion

Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #33 on: December 20, 2020, 08:14:03 pm »
Okay, so again, my apologies for being a bit short here, but I'll squeeze in what I can -

It's now into week-7, and my upper area is really, REALLY uber-sensitive, and I'm seeing what looks like real growth (nothing really noticeable to others who don't look closely, but I can tell).

The whole shaving/hair removal routine has become almost intolerable, but I'm making myself go through with it, because I'd be in an even worse state if I left it.

As far as the family/living situation goes, we're finally getting into a routine between the house and apartment that's working out, and my wife and I are still working together as a team....it has its hard points, but I'm just thankful we have this time together.

On a more fun note, I got my first bottle of nail polish in the mail.  Nails Inc. vegan friendly, and it's the colour called 'Victoria,' and that is just an AWESOME colour, if any one has seen it. 

(I saw that on QVC Fashion, where I have a freesat stream, and I just thought....'I don't care if I'm all the way over here in Canada.  I'm getting that!')

If I don't get back on before next weekend, I hope everyone has a good Holiday and Boxing Day!  I'm thinking of you. :)

-Vivian (TSL_NB)

Vivian-

That is a lovely shade you've chosen for your first bottle of polish- I bet you're really happy with it too!  I remember how happy I was, even with all the ones I inherited- to hold that first bottle that I picked out and see it on my nails!

I'm also glad to hear you're settling into a routine-  I know it's hard, and not perfect- but it is encouraging that you are still able to work and parent together with your wife.   Big Hugs!

In time others will start to see your ever changing features- but for now enjoy your second adolescence, and know that we are all here pulling for you as well! 

Hugs!!
Caela
My Blog Thread - The Chronicles of Caela

Who knew it'd be so bright without the blindfold - Demi Lovato

Offline TSL_NB

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #34 on: December 24, 2020, 02:01:41 pm »
@Caela @Sarah, thanks again!   Hugs back to you. :) 

As usual, I have to cram this in between work and kids and Christmas Eve insanity, but here goes.

I decided to finally do something a little adventurous, and exclusively for myself, as a gift.   

I rang one of the spas in the city nearby, and asked if they were okay providing a pedicure service, but if I brought my own polish instead, and they were fine with that.   

So, I took my Victoria polish with me, and had my first ever pedicure done.  The staff was wonderful, and perfectly okay with me (they said I was their first client who was open about being trans, and they said it was an honour....which was really, really nice).

So, I never had this kind of treatment, in, well...ever.   It was just amazing.   When they were doing the scrub/massage/hot rock part, I actually started crying (HRT also helped make that possible), and had to mention to them that it was a 'good cry.'  They were really awesome about it. :)

They were quite impressed with Nails Inc., and the bottle I had got showed around quite a bit....and, they didn't appear to have a colour that was even close, so I'm even more glad I brought it...this is just such a unique one, I'm sticking with this, year round. 

The only challenge I had was walking out into an icy parking lot with foam sandals (I had to wait an hour before I could put my boots back on), but no calamity was experienced there.  I made it to my car without any embarrassment. :)

My apologies for the gratuitous photo, but I just wanted to show this so you have an idea of how it looks (the camera doesn't really do it justice, but it's this really elegant dark red):


I haven't done my hands yet, though, but once I do, that's going up here as well. :)

I'll probably not make back on until after the weekend.  Happy Holidays, be safe, and just thanks for being here! :)

V/R,
Vivian (TSL_NB)
It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline TSL_NB

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #35 on: December 28, 2020, 04:01:33 pm »
So, this is now week-8....

I haven't noticed growth in my top, per se, but there is a definite permanence there.  It's just, well, there.

Beyond that, I'm still contending with the post-Christmas/Boxing Day madness between the house and the apartment.   Everything's been cordial, but I can really pick up on lingering tensions between the kids, their mom, and me.  This is something I wasn't very attuned to before.   

But, with my wife's encouragement (she is really an amazing person), I opted to open an account at One Scene.  I don't know if anyone has ever used that here, but we'll see how that goes.

And, my apologies yet again for cutting it short....I now have to figure out supper for everyone.     

My hugs to you!  :)

V/R,
Vivian (TSL_NB)
It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #36 on: December 29, 2020, 02:23:13 am »
So, this is now week-8....

I haven't noticed growth in my top, per se, but there is a definite permanence there.  It's just, well, there.

Beyond that, I'm still contending with the post-Christmas/Boxing Day madness between the house and the apartment.   Everything's been cordial, but I can really pick up on lingering tensions between the kids, their mom, and me.  This is something I wasn't very attuned to before.   

But, with my wife's encouragement (she is really an amazing person), I opted to open an account at One Scene.  I don't know if anyone has ever used that here, but we'll see how that goes.

And, my apologies yet again for cutting it short....I now have to figure out supper for everyone.     

My hugs to you!  :)

V/R,
Vivian (TSL_NB)
Hugs Vivian!  I hope your situation gets less tense as time passes.

And I'll send lots of good thoughts for you with One Scene! 2021 is coming, and a new year is a good time for a new fresh start!

Hugs!!

Caela
My Blog Thread - The Chronicles of Caela

Who knew it'd be so bright without the blindfold - Demi Lovato

Offline TSL_NB

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #37 on: January 01, 2021, 11:35:15 am »
Hugs Vivian!  I hope your situation gets less tense as time passes.

And I'll send lots of good thoughts for you with One Scene! 2021 is coming, and a new year is a good time for a new fresh start!

Hugs!!

Caela

Thanks, Caela! Hugs back at ya. :)

I have to say, the past two days have been, well..pretty good.

I'll need more time to go into it more.....but, for now, Happy 2021, everyone!

V/R,
Vivian (TSL_NB)
It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline TSL_NB

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #38 on: January 12, 2021, 03:26:48 am »
Hi, everyone.  Again, I'm sorry for falling behind so much.

But, I had a hot flash wake me up three hours earlier than I usually wake, so I took that as a premonition to post an update here.

I'm now more settled into my apartment, and we have a pretty good routine.  I'll wake up, get my first coffee/tea hybrid beverage into me, then make the kids' lunches and breakfasts, and run them over to the house, help them get up, get fed, and get out the door to run for the bus, and then make my way back here to start work.

It's now been over two months on HRT, and I'm so glad I did this...I am getting a bit impatient, but rationally, I know good things are on the way. :)

My own parents, who are both still alive and doing pretty well, all things considered, have really become more accepting (I think they finally see me more at peace, which is encouraging).  Mom even wanted to get some photos of me using my topper.

Bless her, she couldn't figure out how to send them from her phone, so she took another device, and took a photo of the phone....which, I suppose did the job. :)

I do have a bit of a 'cranky university student' vibe in these ones (no makeup....I'm still needing practice with that):




-Vivian (TSL_NB)
It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'
« Reply #39 on: January 12, 2021, 10:49:42 pm »
Hi, everyone.  Again, I'm sorry for falling behind so much.

But, I had a hot flash wake me up three hours earlier than I usually wake, so I took that as a premonition to post an update here.

I'm now more settled into my apartment, and we have a pretty good routine.  I'll wake up, get my first coffee/tea hybrid beverage into me, then make the kids' lunches and breakfasts, and run them over to the house, help them get up, get fed, and get out the door to run for the bus, and then make my way back here to start work.

It's now been over two months on HRT, and I'm so glad I did this...I am getting a bit impatient, but rationally, I know good things are on the way. :)

My own parents, who are both still alive and doing pretty well, all things considered, have really become more accepting (I think they finally see me more at peace, which is encouraging).  Mom even wanted to get some photos of me using my topper.

Bless her, she couldn't figure out how to send them from her phone, so she took another device, and took a photo of the phone....which, I suppose did the job. :)

I do have a bit of a 'cranky university student' vibe in these ones (no makeup....I'm still needing practice with that):




-Vivian (TSL_NB)

Vivian-

I'm glad to hear that life is settling in more for you.  You are truly an Energizer bunny with running back and forth for the kids....  some days I'm just glad my kids are old enough to get themselves going!!  Don't forget in all your busy bee running around to take time out for yourself too!

I'm also glad to hear about your parents- My own mom is happier seeing me more at peace- and the pictures I gave her of her daughter are in a prominent location, which has really warmed my heart!

And makeup or no- you have a great natural look!

Hugs!!

Caela
My Blog Thread - The Chronicles of Caela

Who knew it'd be so bright without the blindfold - Demi Lovato

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