Topic: The Solitary Lodger (TSL_NB), and 46 years of 'Backwards Menopause.'

[RandyL]

Hey Vivian, my day-older-sister (I started the day after you did). I'm glad your family routine is working. You are vital to your kids and I'm sure they appreciate you, whether they ever say so or not.

I love your Mom's photos of the phone. My Mom always says something like, "I really should get to know how to use this phone" and then she never does. It either sits all the time in the charger, or it wanders off and dies quietly in a corner. Now she wears an Apple watch so she can press a button to activate her phone so she can find it. Not that it helps...

Caela, so cool that your Mom has a treasured photo of her daughter. Maybe I need to make myself up and get a good photo some time.

[TSL_NB]

Vivian-

I'm glad to hear that life is settling in more for you.  You are truly an Energizer bunny with running back and forth for the kids....  some days I'm just glad my kids are old enough to get themselves going!!  Don't forget in all your busy bee running around to take time out for yourself too!

I'm also glad to hear about your parents- My own mom is happier seeing me more at peace- and the pictures I gave her of her daughter are in a prominent location, which has really warmed my heart!

And makeup or no- you have a great natural look!

Hugs!!

Caela

@Caela

Thanks, that makes me feel better about not having any skill with it yet.
(And, I think it's one of things where I don't necessarily want to do it every day....but I definitely want to know how when I do!)

And, indeed, I look forward to resting in more once the kids are all old enough to get themselves out the door, but I'll miss those days too.....

Hugs back, sis!
Vivian

[TSL_NB]

Hey Vivian, my day-older-sister (I started the day after you did). I'm glad your family routine is working. You are vital to your kids and I'm sure they appreciate you, whether they ever say so or not.

I love your Mom's photos of the phone. My Mom always says something like, "I really should get to know how to use this phone" and then she never does. It either sits all the time in the charger, or it wanders off and dies quietly in a corner. Now she wears an Apple watch so she can press a button to activate her phone so she can find it. Not that it helps...

Caela, so cool that your Mom has a treasured photo of her daughter. Maybe I need to make myself up and get a good photo some time.

@Randi

Thanks, day-younger-sis! (That's got a good ring to it)

My mom is really resourceful in that way.  She's always been the one who, even though she may not know the standard way to do things, will always deliver in the end.  I actually think there's some really good bonding opportunity in the future.

[TSL_NB]

So, I'm pretty wiped out (again) after this week, and it's back to it first thing in the morning.

Onescene has been a little slow, but at the same time, I am in absolutely no rush to jump into a new relationship.   There have been the odd predators who will send some really pushy message, asking for all of my contact details, and very obviously not reading my profile.

I'm completely open about being transgender, so anyone who sees it will know up front.  Well, that is, assuming they read it.

Since starting HRT, I just incidentally haven't eaten anything really spicy (which is something I enjoyed before).  I went over to the house to have supper, and we got take out from a Thai place we used to frequent when we could. 

I ordered the same thing I had before, and I used to be able to manage it.

Oh my goodness...NOT this time.  It completely set my mouth on fire in a very acute way that I have never previously experienced.   So, it took a lot of yogurt just to balance it out so I could finish part of it. 
 
I'll need to make a solid mental note.  No more heavily spicy dishes.

On another note, I had a phone appointment with my endocrinologist at the VA clinic in the US.   My levels have picked up, but still on the low side for estrogen, so I'm now wearing two patches for half the week, and one for the other half.   

Sorry, that's all I can share, due to limited cerebral capacity.  I'm done for the night.

[Northern Star Girl]

@TSL_NB
Thank you for updating and posting on your blog/thread.

I stay away from hot/spicy foods....  if I order foods from Mexican or Thai places I ask for MILD !!!!!
Not necessarily because of digestive issues but I like to taste the food without my mouth being on fire.

Oh yes, dating sites are the playground for many males to hit on women and others.... usually they just look at
the pictures and never read what is written.   If you reply to an unsavory message and ask them to stop you will just encourage them to continue to write more unsavory and crude messages....  "no reply" is usually the best course of action, then block them if they keep on writing.

I am wishing you well in your journey.... it can be an exciting road to travel but watch out for the potholes.

HUGS and best wishes to you.
Danielle

[TSL_NB]

@TSL_NB
Thank you for updating and posting on your blog/thread.

I stay away from hot/spicy foods....  if I order foods from Mexican or Thai places I ask for MILD !!!!!
Not necessarily because of digestive issues but I like to taste the food without my mouth being on fire.

Oh yes, dating sites are the playground for many males to hit on women and others.... usually they just look at
the pictures and never read what is written.   If you reply to an unsavory message and ask them to stop you will just encourage them to continue to write more unsavory and crude messages....  "no reply" is usually the best course of action, then block them if they keep on writing.

I am wishing you well in your journey.... it can be an exciting road to travel but watch out for the potholes.

HUGS and best wishes to you.
Danielle

@Northern Star Girl

Thanks, Danielle.

I'm actually a lesbian (Onescene is geared towards LGBTQ folks, so I thought it was a safer place to start for a lesbian transgender woman like myself), but I'm seeing that same kind of behaviour here, too.

One younger woman (not too much younger) became suddenly hostile with me when I advised that I don't have a mobile phone (which I actually don't).  So, the blocking option is going to come into use, I think.

[CaelaNotKayla]

So, I'm pretty wiped out (again) after this week, and it's back to it first thing in the morning.

Onescene has been a little slow, but at the same time, I am in absolutely no rush to jump into a new relationship.   There have been the odd predators who will send some really pushy message, asking for all of my contact details, and very obviously not reading my profile.

I'm completely open about being transgender, so anyone who sees it will know up front.  Well, that is, assuming they read it.

Since starting HRT, I just incidentally haven't eaten anything really spicy (which is something I enjoyed before).  I went over to the house to have supper, and we got take out from a Thai place we used to frequent when we could. 

I ordered the same thing I had before, and I used to be able to manage it.

Oh my goodness...NOT this time.  It completely set my mouth on fire in a very acute way that I have never previously experienced.   So, it took a lot of yogurt just to balance it out so I could finish part of it. 
 
I'll need to make a solid mental note.  No more heavily spicy dishes.

On another note, I had a phone appointment with my endocrinologist at the VA clinic in the US.   My levels have picked up, but still on the low side for estrogen, so I'm now wearing two patches for half the week, and one for the other half.   

Sorry, that's all I can share, due to limited cerebral capacity.  I'm done for the night.

Vivian-

Being in no rush is the best approach. Rare is the time when Ms. Right Now becomes Ms. Right, and there are so many Ms. Wrongs on the dating sites-  it takes time to sift through all the trolls and scammers before finding someone genuine.  I think life will be easier for all of us once COVID is done and we can go back to meeting up with people in person.

We have a Chinese restaurant that we would frequent before my wife passed away, and last week we ordered in from there for the first time in 8 months..... the same spice level did a number on me too.  It may not be anything to do with HRT.. my thoughts were that we're all not used to it anymore!

Hugs!!

Caela

[TSL_NB]

Vivian-

Being in no rush is the best approach. Rare is the time when Ms. Right Now becomes Ms. Right, and there are so many Ms. Wrongs on the dating sites-  it takes time to sift through all the trolls and scammers before finding someone genuine.  I think life will be easier for all of us once COVID is done and we can go back to meeting up with people in person.

We have a Chinese restaurant that we would frequent before my wife passed away, and last week we ordered in from there for the first time in 8 months..... the same spice level did a number on me too.  It may not be anything to do with HRT.. my thoughts were that we're all not used to it anymore!

Hugs!!

Caela

@Caela  I definitely agree. That's a part of it too, since we haven't had take out of any kind in a while.   
I think it will boil down to the MMV factor, but finally having the 'E' in my system has changed a lot, some changes more subtle than others.
 
Last night, the craving for salt really kicked in, which I never really had (and, I'm only on estradiol...no spiro).

[TSL_NB]

So, again....the update will be abridged, as usual.

Onescene has been a bit of an eye opener, in online dating - I didn't realise how many scammers are out there, and particularly where they target single lesbian women.  It's pretty crazy.

I already had two different 'users' try to IM me where they used the same profile pic.  Someone else tried getting my personal information, who wrote in very short sentences, and complained that my responses were 'too wordy', and she wanted my phone number (even though this person claimed to have a doctorate, which should suggest that being 'wordy' wouldn't be a problem) .

I have had one or two who sent pleasant messages, but then just stopped....I suspect it's after they read my profile a second time, and may have misgivings about my being a transgender woman, which is sad....but, I suppose that's better than the excessive soliciting to try to steal my bank account details.

Aside from that, I'm hoping to get on the laser hair removal treatments again (both with my budget being narrow due to our living situation, and the pandemic still persisting, it may not happen soon, but I can dream....).
-Vivian (TSL_NB)

[SarahEL]

Vivian,

I know you have discovered this yourself, and their are countless threads on here about it.. But online dating for women is rife with scammers. Some are very good and convincing, others literally automated text responders (maybe the short lines one's??)..  It goes without saying, never share anything with anyone online for your own protection, and ensure any photo's you use as profiles etc, are not also posted on any of your social media sites (or anywhere for that matter).. as it is very easy to search for photo's and link dating profiles to your actual social media..

The lengths I went to, to validate Jay was who he said he was on here was extreme.. and we had been talking and PM's for around 12 months prior.. I am very, ultra-cautious... and the fact is, if they really are interested and genuine then it will work out okay going slowly and carefully... 

I hope you find friendship and then that special person for you..

[CaelaNotKayla]

Hugs Vivian- 

I ran across someone online that was very obviously a scammer, but was more or less responding realtime- so I got a level of entertainment out of it before I hit "block".

Good thoughts as well for your laser treatments... positive thoughts for our world situation and you will get back to those too!

Hugs!!
Caela

[TSL_NB]

Vivian,

I know you have discovered this yourself, and their are countless threads on here about it.. But online dating for women is rife with scammers. Some are very good and convincing, others literally automated text responders (maybe the short lines one's??)..  It goes without saying, never share anything with anyone online for your own protection, and ensure any photo's you use as profiles etc, are not also posted on any of your social media sites (or anywhere for that matter).. as it is very easy to search for photo's and link dating profiles to your actual social media..

The lengths I went to, to validate Jay was who he said he was on here was extreme.. and we had been talking and PM's for around 12 months prior.. I am very, ultra-cautious... and the fact is, if they really are interested and genuine then it will work out okay going slowly and carefully... 

I hope you find friendship and then that special person for you..

Thanks, Sarah.   I absolutely concur....I'm in no rush, and am not setting any deadline.  If the right one comes along, then it will work.
-Vivian

[TSL_NB]

Hugs Vivian- 

I ran across someone online that was very obviously a scammer, but was more or less responding realtime- so I got a level of entertainment out of it before I hit "block".

Good thoughts as well for your laser treatments... positive thoughts for our world situation and you will get back to those too!

Hugs!!
Caela

Thanks, Caela!  I haven't had any of the more ridiculous  solicitors yet (but, I've read of some, well...'memorable' experiences others have had).

Yeah, I'm really hoping to get the lasering resumed (although, we've had an unfortunate recent spike in cases yesterday and today, so parts of NB are going back into lockdown).   But, I'll keep the good thoughts going too!
-Vivian

[TSL_NB]

Sorry, everyone....another very abridged update, as I really don't have the mental or emotional energy to go into detail.

It was a rough day all around, between work, a blowup at the house, and having to pay a visit to the divorce attorney tomorrow.....

I'm just exhausted all around, and I'm calling it an early night.  I just wanted everyone here to know I'm thinking of you, and I really appreciate the good thoughts, hugs, and overall support.

V/R,
Vivian (TSL_NB)

[CaelaNotKayla]

Sorry, everyone....another very abridged update, as I really don't have the mental or emotional energy to go into detail.

It was a rough day all around, between work, a blowup at the house, and having to pay a visit to the divorce attorney tomorrow.....

I'm just exhausted all around, and I'm calling it an early night.  I just wanted everyone here to know I'm thinking of you, and I really appreciate the good thoughts, hugs, and overall support.

V/R,
Vivian (TSL_NB)

Hugs Vivian- know that we're all here thinking of you too!

Hugs!!

Cae

[TSL_NB]

Thanks, Cae!  This is an awesome family we have here.

[TSL_NB]

So, another abridged update....

The attorney visit went okay.  I dressed up more professionally, and found that while I was dressing, my growth was actually a little visible through the sweater.   So, I don't know if this would qualify as a 'milestone,' but I had to use a cotton sports bra to cover it.

So there, my first time actually needing a bra.

I think I may have surprised their receptionist a little when I arrived, though.  I have spoken to her quite a few times on the phone, and she knew I was transgender.  I just don't think she expected me to look the way I do.   

But, weirdly, it came across quite pleasantly, and I think she may have even flirted with me a little, which was a confidence booster (I did notice the lack of a wedding band on her hand).  But, anyhow, I had to get to business with the attorney, and it went quite well, so that's good.

My OneScene experience has taken a turn upwards as well....lately, I've been regularly corresponding with a woman in the US who, according to her profile, is a cis lesbian, but seems open to talking to a trans woman like me, and it's been very easy going.  No pressure, no expectations....it's nice just to be able to have a friendly chat.

I just really, really also hope I can get back on the laser/electrolysis path.  The daily shaving/depilatory routine is getting grueling, the more my skin is changing (especially on my face....I look like a blood-coloured dalmatian every morning...OUCH!).  But, it's even worse leaving it there, so I'll stay with the routine.

Beyond that, I've been a little busy on Super Mario Maker 2 again.  That's my one hobby that has become quite fun over the past year.

For those who like playing it, you will notice, I thrive on absurdity, as you will see on the courses I built. The ones my kids make (we share the same account to upload and showcase everything) are more conventional, and definitely get more likes (well, mostly...one of them is beginning to embrace the more absurd, too).

I think players may lose patience with my courses, but hey....we have to be true to ourselves, and I'm happy with my courses.  We need to do what makes us happy, just like Bob Ross would say.

-Vivian (TSL_NB)

[RandyL]

Hey Vivian, sounds like things are going better. As for the Super Mario Maker courses, why would anyone expect a transgender person to produce a conventional road? All the best, Randy

[TSL_NB]

Hey Vivian, sounds like things are going better. As for the Super Mario Maker courses, why would anyone expect a transgender person to produce a conventional road? All the best, Randy

Indeed, Randy!  I don't follow conventions, and it shows in the courses.
But, I have fun with them (although, I sometimes drive myself a little insane trying to clear them, since you have to do that before uploading them).

[TSL_NB]

So, another abridged update....

It's now been three months since starting the estradiol, and I honestly don't know how I managed without it.   

We're all different, but for me, I'm still reveling in finally feeling like myself.

The correspondence with the woman I met on Onescene has been going pretty well.....this has been a really awkward adjustment, and it still may not amount to much.  But again, it's just nice to have someone be nice to me.

I even got a little daring, and sent her a quick video message.  This was a screencap from it (just taken an hour ago):


Aside from that, Mom and Dad have really warmed up to me, and I almost started crying earlier tonight.  We were talking on Skype, and Mom just, in a very natural, and even casual way, called me by my real name, Vivian.  And, I could really feel that they were accepting.

That's really awesome.  I'm very thankful for that.

My youngest daughter is sleeping over here.   It's really wonderful to have my kids over; the routine we currently have is hard, but I get to see them, and still be the parent that I am, and they are recognising more and more that I'm not going anywhere.