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Chapter 5: I am Emma

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Amy I am glad you do show up.  I truly need feedback, positive if possible ;D, please pop up often.  We all share a very unfair place in this gender hell.  I wish it wasn't so.  I like to believe that we are better people for it.

Warm regards,



I had a moment of righteous anger the other day and wrote this for Medium.  Hopefully the right people will read it.

                                                   An Open Letter to People Who Hate Transgender People

“Why do you have to tear us down? What are you so afraid of? What have got lose?  We’re not selling anything. We don’t want anything from you.  Why are you tearing us down?  So you can sleep better tonight?  So you can prove the world is flat?” 

I paraphrased that quote from the movie PHENOMENOM when the locals were tearing down the main character because of their own ignorance. 


I am transgender.  I was born that way.  I didn’t ask for it and it doesn’t make me less of a person, good or bad. It’s no different than being born left-handed or with red hair or very short or very tall.  It is something that just happened to me by a random act of nature.

So, you can’t see my gender. 

You can’t see my gender because I wasn’t as lucky as you.  Your physical body matches your sense of gender.  You feel male and you see male in the mirror and you feel female and you see female in your mirror.  It all works for you so well that you don’t even think about it. 

You don’t need to.

But what else in your life do you dwell on that others don’t see?  Maybe you’re not smart enough, you hate being so tall so short, you’re not as pretty as you want to be, you’re not strong enough, no loves you, you had a miserable childhood, you were bullied, the list goes on and on.  As a human we all deal with what we have.  We all have things that should have been better in our lives that aren’t but then we have to live with what is.

So, I am transgender.

Why do you need to tear us down?  I have yet read any reputable report globally of multiple incidences of a transgender sexual predator, in a ladies toilet, ladies locker room or in any dark alley.  The massive number of pedophiles that I read about are priests, ministers, boy scout leaders and politicians yet they are not told they, as a group, they can’t go to the bathroom.

Yes, we are different.  We are working against a body that we were born with that is not the “us” that we see in the mirror.  Being transgender is when your wire sense of gender is different from the physical genitalia that you were been with.  We have a medical condition that has been proven by both science and medicine.

Why do we then have to prove it to you?

You are right, you can’t see gender, you just feel it.  So, therefore it doesn’t exist for you, right?

Let me ask you a simple question:  Have you ever felt love?

Prove it.  Show it to me.  Where is this love so I can see it and believe you?

I have the same problem proving my internal gender to you.  It is not seen, it is felt.   Just like you, I feel my gender but unlike you I was born with the wrong body parts and body parts are just things attached to the body.

A male soldier loses a leg or worse, his genitals, in battle.  Is he any less a man?  A woman loses her breasts through a mastectomy.  Is she any less a woman?

Clearly no!

The same is true for me and other transgender people.  We are who we are inside a body.  The body is not who we are.  Some of us try to make the body fit our gender.  Medical science has finally advanced to the point that we have medical solutions to being transgender.  Should we forego medical treatment to make you feel better?

At this point, all I can ask is that you try to understand and maybe, just maybe accept that we just people with a curable physical malady.

If nothing else, please just stop tearing us down.


Started getting the dates for my retirement in order.  Tentatively set for June 30, 2023.  Hopefully I will have completed my surgeries by then because my companies health insurance covers most of it.

Light at the end of an endless tunnel???  It finally feels real and I really need that.

Maid Marion:
Hi Emma,

Good luck with your retirement planning and surgeries!


Tempest fugit (as Del boy says) , its a month since surgery and its flown by . You will soon be there dear before you know it.


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