Author Topic: Chapter 5: I am Emma  (Read 22206 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline KimOct

  • *****
  • *
  • Posts: 1,147
  • Reputation: +33/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #700 on: April 03, 2021, 01:53:06 pm »
Today is Transgender Visibility Day.  I wasn't sure how to celebrate it but I thought that this is something I needed to do for me. 

I am sure an old friend KimOct from this site will scream "It's about time!!! I told you this two years ago!"

OK Kim you were right. ;D

                                                       My Confession

I need to do something and I need to do it publicly. 

I am transphobic.

If you accept the definition of transphobic as having or showing a dislike of or prejudice against transsexual or transgender people, then I am absolutely transphobic.

And I am not proud of that.

Now what makes this so humorous is that I am transgender.

Pretty funny huh?

So how do I put this all together to make this confession make any sense to you?  Well, I am going to try.  You can always comment below and tell me whether I failed or not.

I am a baby boomer born with male genitalia and declared to all the world at my birth that I was a male.  They even gave me a certificate to prove it to everyone.  My parents kept in a safe place in case they needed to prove it to anyone. 

I still have it…but the certificate is wrong.

After 60 years of denial, I discovered that I am wired female in a male body.  For the purpose of this writing, I am not debating this with you or anyone else.  I have more than enough medical and scientific facts and opinions to back me up.

After 5 years of personal and professional analysis, endless hours of scathing internal examination and deep, deep research I know with every fiber of my being, I am transgender.

So how can I be transphobic?

The world that raised me taught me to not only hate all LGBTQ individuals, it also taught me to hate myself.  I had 60 years of self-hate but, fortunately, I was able to stop hating anyone else that was LGBTQ in my teenaged years.
I could accept it in others but I could not accept it in me.

The transphobic person in me saw it as weakness and I have always been strong.  I am determined and I hate failure in myself.  There was no room to accept that I had feminine feeling.  I continued to hate my flaw, my personal defect.  I simply buried it.

Which brings me to my next confession.  I was trained to be misogynistic.  I will define it simply as it felt inside me as an ingrained prejudice against women.  Women were weaker than men.  They needed the protection of men.  They could not compete against men.  Fortunately, that prejudice also died in my teenaged years…

…but it lingered in my heart as a way to attack my very female soul. 

Again, another layer of self-hate.

What I could accept in others, understand in others, I could not do so for myself.

So, at 60 years of age I considered suicide.  Fortunately, it was only a thought but it was enough of a thought to rattle my very existence.  I was forced to do something that I would never do before, accept that I was failing myself.

But once I realized that I had, in fact, not failed myself, I finally forgave myself, finally accepted myself and I finally got to be myself.

It has been a very painful road for me but I am glad I finally got to walk it to find me.  It sure beats walking off a cliff.


I hope you have your own way to celebrate and have a wonderful day.

Warm hug,

Emma

So I decided to check in on you today.  I wasn't sure how far back I would read.  So I click on a page and 'poof'  the first entry I read has my name in it.  :D  Too funny.  The universe works in mysterious ways.

I told you I was stepping away not leaving forever.

Great insight.  I have always tried to explain that for many of us internalized transphobia is not meant to say we hate transgender people, rather, it is that we have absorbed the messages from society and that is why we are ashamed of ourselves.  It is why we assume that we will be ridiculed, that nobody will love or accept us.

It's a tough road Emma but as we discussed life is short. We all have to choose our priorities but before we can do that we have to understand how and why we choose those priorities.  Is it fear?  Or is it what we want?  We all must make those choices but only if we are honest with ourselves.

Hugs as always
Your Friend
Kim
The first transphobe you have to conquer is yourself

Offline Sephirah

  • *
  • Posts: 5,555
  • Reputation: +326/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #701 on: April 03, 2021, 02:20:36 pm »
Another writing for Medium:

Sitting on the precipice of physically transitioning and permanently changing my life at 65 is brutal.  Simply considering transitioning at 65 years of age is cluttered with so many rational reasons not to. 

The concept of transitioning at 65 years of age is cluttered with so many rational reasons not to.  Here are just a few:

-Jeopardizing a life-relationship and the life I built over a life time.

-My body is built male at 6 foot and 210 pounds.  Passing will be a struggle.  I need to grow a hard outer skin against the inevitable micro-aggression and macro-aggressions.

-The process of physically transitioning requires years of pain, money, re-socialization and a whole new wardrobe.  In addition, at 65, there are health conditions to consider since I am aging.

The list could go on for pages but it just becomes the negative minutia that grows in dark thoughts that a transgender person endlessly mulls over. 

The one thing that I will not allow to be an issue is being alone as I age.  I will find friends; I will not wait for them to come to me.  The world is filled with them and they, like me, are drawn to the warmth of the human heart.

In today’s NY Times there was a story about a 88 year old trans woman*.  Her name is Samantha Flores, and she created a community center in Mexico City for older L.G.B.T.Q. people.

She is never alone.

“After nearly nine decades as a socialite, a manager of a gay bar, an L.G.B.T.Q. advocate, and much more, Ms. Flores has a large community of longtime friends and neighbors who come knocking.

“Without my friends, I wouldn’t be who I am,” she said.”

She founded a drop-in center to help older L.G.B.T.Q adults combat their isolation.  It was the first organization of its kind in Mexico, a much tougher place to be transgender than the US.

““The older adult, in general, suffers from two things: loneliness and abandonment,” she said. “They are a nuisance to their family.”

The warmth of her heart became a beacon that has drawn people to her and has built a community that shares a common bond, caring humanity. 

As Ms. Flores said “It’s empathy and being together. Abandonment and loneliness have fled.”

I love the final lines of the article: “I’m waiting for Prince Charming on his white horse and silver armor to come and serenade me,” Ms. Flores said. “I’ve been living here for 35 years, with the windows open, waiting for him. But he still hasn’t come.”

88 years old and still looking to date.  Who am I to complain at 65?


Warm hug,

Emma


*  (https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/02/world/americas/mexico-transgender-community-center.html).

The thing is, Emma... and I have noticed this with almost all older transitioners... you have more life than you think you have. I know people half your age who coast through life, just waiting to die.

For all the reasons not to... I can give you one reason to.

Because for perhaps the first time you get to feel alive.

It's that simple.

Feeling alive is not the same thing as being alive. You can have the latter without the former. Take it from someone who's experienced both.

As I said before, it's not about how many days in your life, it's how much life you put into each day. And practically without fail, every one of you here who has transitioned later in life... it's like you've been reborn. Like you've finally awoke from a long dream and opened your eyes to who you are and what you want. It's pretty awesome to see. I know you have a lot of stuff to work through, and I really don't envy you that... but just hearing how you express yourself, how... liberated you sound... you're like birds finding the cage door and realising the world doesn't have to have bars.

You can have more life in 10 years than in 50 years, if you value the life you have, and want to make the most of it.

The worst thing you can ever do is wake up each day and wish you hadn't. Trust me. That's about 75% of my life, lol. The rest... is being inspired by people here.

Offline Emma1017

  • *
  • Posts: 2,427
  • Reputation: +29/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #702 on: April 03, 2021, 03:23:24 pm »
"Experiencing the loneliness of losing my one true love to cancer has me scared that I will die alone and forgotten."

Ellen I felt this in statement in my heart.  I really wish I could give you a real hug.  Please,please don't be afraid.  You have so much life left and your one true love would want you to have the joy of life.  The world does have love and wonderful people in it.  Look at this site and even the narrow world of my thread.  The love is there and just stay open to it.  It will find you.

A very warm hug,

Emma
  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Emma1017

  • *
  • Posts: 2,427
  • Reputation: +29/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #703 on: April 03, 2021, 03:35:54 pm »

Speaking of heart Ellen, two people who some of the biggest hearts I have experienced in my life just posted, Kim and Sephirah.  Talk about the two best "lifeguards" for gender challenged!

I am a shining example of someone who went into the gender deep end of the pool, trying to swim with two huge bricks in my pockets.  These two have saved me and taught me so much.  They refused to let me drown no matter how much I resisted their help.

Kim I am so glad that you checked in.  I was hoping that you would, when you were ready.  I hope you are well and in a much better place.  You absolutely deserve it and more.

Sephirah thank you as always for holding up a torch to light the darkness that inhabits the world inside our heads.  I am so glad that you never succumbed to that darkness yourself.  The world is a brighter place with your heart in it.

Time for a group hug...

HUG

With love,

Emma
  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Sephirah

  • *
  • Posts: 5,555
  • Reputation: +326/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #704 on: April 03, 2021, 03:47:43 pm »
Sephirah thank you as always for holding up a torch to light the darkness that inhabits the world inside our heads.  I am so glad that you never succumbed to that darkness yourself.  The world is a brighter place with your heart in it.

I'm too stubborn to quit, sweetie. You know that. :) And I don't bring Ms Hyde here, thankfully. I'd have more negative rep than I do positive, lol.

In my head:



In reality:



But whatever. As long as I can save drowning people, I'm good. I get to live vicariously though you folks. So I'm not entirely altruistic. Muahahahaha.  :-*

Offline Pammie

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 3,238
  • Reputation: +22/-0
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #705 on: April 03, 2021, 03:47:56 pm »
Speaking of heart Ellen, two people who some of the biggest hearts I have experienced in my life just posted, Kim and Sephirah.  Talk about the two best "lifeguards" for gender challenged!

I am a shining example of someone who went into the gender deep end of the pool, trying to swim with two huge bricks in my pockets.  These two have saved me and taught me so much.  They refused to let me drown no matter how much I resisted their help.

Kim I am so glad that you checked in.  I was hoping that you would, when you were ready.  I hope you are well and in a much better place.  You absolutely deserve it and more.

Sephirah thank you as always for holding up a torch to light the darkness that inhabits the world inside our heads.  I am so glad that you never succumbed to that darkness yourself.  The world is a brighter place with your heart in it.

Time for a group hug...

HUG

With love,

Emma
Well said Emma, and I echo your sentiments re Sephirah and Kim who are both such supportive friends to all of us
More group hugs xx


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Offline Emma1017

  • *
  • Posts: 2,427
  • Reputation: +29/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #706 on: April 05, 2021, 07:08:59 am »
This is my latest on Medium, for what it is worth :D:

                                              WHY WOULD A GUY WANT TO BE A WOMAN? 
                              EVEN WORSE WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO BE TRANSGENDER?


Why would a guy ever want to be a woman?  I mean seriously?  Why would he?  The advantages of being a guy so out way the being a woman on so many levels.  I mean think about it.

So, I thought about it today.

I Googled “List of male privileges” and this is what I came up with.

In 1990, Wellesley College professor Peggy McIntosh wrote an essay called “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack.” https://www.cpt.org/files/US%20-%20Male%20Privilege%20Checklist.pdf that listed 45 examples of male privilege.  Not to be out done the Project Humanities at Arizona State compiled a list of 100 https://projecthumanities.asu.edu/content/male-privilege-checklist.

That is a lot of privileges! 

I am sparing you listing them here so you can hyper-link to them if you choose.  I then Googled “List of female privileges”.

The first list I got was skimpy, just seven privileges listed.  https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/01/female-privilege-not-a-thing/
1.   Women Receive Chivalry – And Therefore, Free Dinners, Open Doors, and More
2.   Women Are Under No Pressure to Provide for the Family – Unlike Men
3.   On That Note, If Women Don’t Feel Like Working, They Can Just Marry Rich
4.   Women Are Accepted as Emotional Beings
5.   Women Have a Higher Chance of Getting Accepted into College
6.   Women Are More Likely to Win Child Custody Battles
7.   Men Are More Likely to Die of Suicide or in Wars

Then I ran across this list of 97 female privileges https://mensresistance.wordpress.com/female-privilege-checklist/
Wow there are a lot gender-based issues to contend with.

Then I Googled “list of transgender privileges”. 

Not only did I get zero returns, I only got anti-trans related lists like “Non-Trans Privilege List” https://www.keshetonline.org/resources/non-trans-privilege-list/  and the “Fifty Trans Hurdles” https://medium.com/bits-and-behavior/fifty-trans-hurdles-7bb4e859f860  by Amy Ko, a great trans writer on Medium.

So I am basically screwed, stay a man and be privileged, become a woman and deal with counter-claims being privileged or accept that I am transgender and live with a complete lack of privilege and actually live with a disadvantage.

Hmmmmmm, I know this may seem completely mad, but I like being the underdog. 

I’d rather be trans.

Oh yeah....I am
  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Dorit

  • *
  • Posts: 397
  • Reputation: +3/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #707 on: April 05, 2021, 05:49:33 pm »
Hi Emma!

I think what you wrote is counter productive for you to progress and gives the mistaken impression being trans is some kind of choice.  Like weighing the pros and cons and then deciding if you want to be trans.  I had a new neighbor ask me the same question when I reviled to her that I was a transgender woman:  "Why would you not want to be a man, they have it so much easier".

I was born this way, I had absolutely no say in it like everything else I was born with.  You too did not choose it, no one chooses their sex or gender, it is hard wired at birth.

What you do have a today, fortunately, is a choice about how to receive it and what to do about it.   I say fortunately because not too many decades ago transgender people born into Western culture had damn little choice about what to do with it.

You and I have lived long enough to see this happen, now we do have a choice!  Don't waist it, we are a privileged generation!
I first told a psychiatrist that I wanted to be a girl in 1967 after a psychotic breakdown
Began therapy again with gender specialist 50 years later in September 2017
Began HRT November 2017
Name change with Israel Ministry of Interior March 2018
FFS September 2018
GCS December 2018
Gender change with Israel Ministry of Interior January 2019
BA July 2020
GCS Revision March 2021

Offline Emma1017

  • *
  • Posts: 2,427
  • Reputation: +29/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #708 on: April 05, 2021, 06:26:17 pm »
Dorit you hit a nerve that made me tear up.  If I push aside all of the social and socialize trash in my life, I need to be the woman that I have been denying.  I feel my eyes tear up as I type this.

You are absolutely right: "You and I have lived long enough to see this happen, now we do have a choice!  Don't waste it, we are a privileged generation!"  How dare I squander an opportunity that so many in over a thousand years have missed and suffered for in their loss! 

I wrote that piece for general publication to move the dialogue forward.  It was not aimed at insiders like us. 

I am transgender, I am proud to be transgender and I am going to transition!!!

Dorit thank you for stating the obvious for someone who needs to smack into the obvious full force to come to her senses.  I am amazingly emotionally dense.

Warm hugs,

Emma

  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Dorit

  • *
  • Posts: 397
  • Reputation: +3/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #709 on: April 06, 2021, 05:54:52 am »

HUGS!!
I first told a psychiatrist that I wanted to be a girl in 1967 after a psychotic breakdown
Began therapy again with gender specialist 50 years later in September 2017
Began HRT November 2017
Name change with Israel Ministry of Interior March 2018
FFS September 2018
GCS December 2018
Gender change with Israel Ministry of Interior January 2019
BA July 2020
GCS Revision March 2021

Offline Emma1017

  • *
  • Posts: 2,427
  • Reputation: +29/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #710 on: April 06, 2021, 08:57:49 pm »
Oh Dorit absolutely massive hug back!!!!!

  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Emma1017

  • *
  • Posts: 2,427
  • Reputation: +29/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #711 on: April 07, 2021, 01:57:24 pm »

I ran across an article yesterday in the NY Times Op Ed Section called: Transgender Childhood Is Not a ‘Trend’ (https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/05/opinion/transgender-children.html?searchResultPosition=1)  that offered an interesting perspective on being transgender. 

Until now I have read numerous stories about the adults in history who were transgender.  The stories were a way to point out that being transgender is not new and has been with humanity all along.

In this article, though, the author wrote about transgender children as they appeared in history.  The book is called “Histories of the Transgender Child” by Jules Gill-Peterson.  His base statement is that throughout history transgender children have long transitioned.  The only thing new is the attention they have drawn and the ensuing publicity and political whiplash they have attracted. 

They are only children with medical needs and should not be used as political pawns.

I agree.



  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Oldandcreaky

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 757
  • Reputation: +12/-0
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #712 on: April 07, 2021, 04:26:41 pm »
In the Katherine Hepburn bio, "Kate," the author described a childhood that could be considered trans: short hair, boy's name, and boy's clothes. And Hepburn's best friend was the same, a girl by birth who demanded that people use a boy's name and buy boy's clothes.

Offline RandiL

  • Formerly RandyL
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,783
  • Reputation: +12/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • On the way
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #713 on: April 07, 2021, 05:25:12 pm »
I have a cousin who did that too. She took the name "Tom" and did everything as a boy. She even cut a hole in the crotch of her jeans. She wrote about it once, and now seems comfortable as a woman and mom.

Is this a closet trans thing, or some kind of well-accepted tomboy phase for certain girls? Little boys certainly aren't allowed to do that.

Sent from my dual-floppy Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

Forging my new, best life as Randi

My personal blog thread: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

My HRT thread: Randi's HRT Journal


Offline Emma1017

  • *
  • Posts: 2,427
  • Reputation: +29/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #714 on: April 08, 2021, 07:31:05 am »
I think we all agree that gender is so complicated.  There are medical protocols in place to prevent errors in treating gender incongruence in children.  Like any medical interventions, like vaccines or even aspirin, for example, the are going to be some individuals that will have negative reactions.  That is the basis of informed consent.

Unquestionably, extraordinary care needs to be applied in the care of children.  The question is whether there is clear and convincing evidence over time to establish that a child needs to transition.  That should be left up to the parent, the medical authorities and the child only.

It is an amazingly difficult problem.  Is she a tomboy but feels totally female and shouldn't transition or is she a boy acting like a tomboy desperately trapped in the wrong body and therefore needs to transition?  The protocols are in place to prevent error but like everything else, is subject to error.  There is no perfect answer but, hopefully, the protocols will be perfected over time to reduce and eliminate the probability of those errors.

There is no easy answer.  I truly wish there was. 



  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Emma1017

  • *
  • Posts: 2,427
  • Reputation: +29/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #715 on: April 09, 2021, 07:47:35 am »
I thought I would share a personal update.  I am still circling my conversation with my wife stating I am transitioning.  I keep framing a soft approach to start the conversation.  The end result is I keep kicking it down the road and I know that the road ends eventually.  I know, I know just do it.

I just got a transgender ombudsman assigned confidentially by my company without any fear that I will be outed without my consent.  They are assigning a transgender specialist from our insurance company to coordinate all my benefits.

My latest blood test came back yesterday and my testosterone is 28 and estrogen is 128 which the right range.

My GCS is greenlighted for late next year depending when I come out plus 12 months as required by my insurance.  Both FFS, which is contingent on a consultation, and electrolysis is waiting for me pulling the trigger with my wife.

I have to wear men's compression shirt because of my chest.  The hormones have done their job.  My chest is 45" and a band of 40".  That is suppose to be a 38DD or 40DD but they don't look that big.  What it does do is helps me to skip on extra surgery.

I am letting my hair grow and that has drawn numerous comments, some snarky and mostly from women.  I have a Type III balding pattern.  There are so many ways to deal with it.  For example, with FFS I can have the hairline lowered, I can get hair grafts (approximately 2200-2700) or, finally, adding hair extensions.  For my vanity I am hoping for a permanent solution.

Ah my weight....I can afford to lose my Covid 10 lbs. and a little bit more.  I may be a Spanx girl anyway...:)

So that's it.  It has been a strange journey over the five years, no maps but lots of great guides helping me, especially here.

In my session with my therapist Wednesday, I stopped and asked her: "So do you really think I am transgender?"  Without missing a beat, we both started laughing.......I am so past denial ;D.

Hugs,

Emma

  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Oldandcreaky

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 757
  • Reputation: +12/-0
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #716 on: April 09, 2021, 07:55:39 am »
I am both heartened and made jealous by insurance bennies. I paid for every damn dollar of my transition. I had good insurance, but there weren't trans-bennies back in the day and because I was a prairie schoolmarm, I was never rich, so I lived with used appliances and cars.

Emma, lose weight rather than sticking with Spanx. I've never worn a compression garment, but they sound squeezingly uncomfy.

Offline EllenW

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 188
  • Reputation: +3/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #717 on: April 09, 2021, 12:17:52 pm »
Emma,

I am happy to hear about the support you are getting from your company. Having an ombudsman at work and especially with the insurance company will be helpful. My company was very supportive, but my experience was different since I live in Southern Cal and my office is in Mass. When I pulled trigger, the department's VP told her director reports to advise everyone on the team and since then I have not had any issues.  I know your transition at work will be just as successful.

Ellen


I thought I would share a personal update.  I am still circling my conversation with my wife stating I am transitioning.  I keep framing a soft approach to start the conversation.  The end result is I keep kicking it down the road and I know that the road ends eventually.  I know, I know just do it.

I just got a transgender ombudsman assigned confidentially by my company without any fear that I will be outed without my consent.  They are assigning a transgender specialist from our insurance company to coordinate all my benefits.

My latest blood test came back yesterday and my testosterone is 28 and estrogen is 128 which the right range.

My GCS is greenlighted for late next year depending when I come out plus 12 months as required by my insurance.  Both FFS, which is contingent on a consultation, and electrolysis is waiting for me pulling the trigger with my wife.

I have to wear men's compression shirt because of my chest.  The hormones have done their job.  My chest is 45" and a band of 40".  That is suppose to be a 38DD or 40DD but they don't look that big.  What it does do is helps me to skip on extra surgery.

I am letting my hair grow and that has drawn numerous comments, some snarky and mostly from women.  I have a Type III balding pattern.  There are so many ways to deal with it.  For example, with FFS I can have the hairline lowered, I can get hair grafts (approximately 2200-2700) or, finally, adding hair extensions.  For my vanity I am hoping for a permanent solution.

Ah my weight....I can afford to lose my Covid 10 lbs. and a little bit more.  I may be a Spanx girl anyway...:)

So that's it.  It has been a strange journey over the five years, no maps but lots of great guides helping me, especially here.

In my session with my therapist Wednesday, I stopped and asked her: "So do you really think I am transgender?"  Without missing a beat, we both started laughing.......I am so past denial ;D.

Hugs,

Emma
Known all my life I was different
Started to live part time as my true self in 2010
HRT January 2018
Full time at work February 2018
Legal name and gender change January 2019
GCS - January 2021

Offline Emma1017

  • *
  • Posts: 2,427
  • Reputation: +29/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #718 on: April 10, 2021, 10:29:27 am »
O&C all I can say to you is "thank you".  It took the efforts by you and others for society, companies and insurance to finally accept the medical necessity to use surgery to "cure" gender incongruence.  I am clearly a beneficiary. 

I can only hope that, as it becomes an accepted medical practice that the opportunity becomes more available to the global trans community.

Ellen a part of me was hoping that something would block my progress...my biological sex is still fighting back against my gender... :).
  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Sephirah

  • *
  • Posts: 5,555
  • Reputation: +326/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #719 on: April 10, 2021, 03:16:15 pm »
I am still circling my conversation with my wife stating I am transitioning.  I keep framing a soft approach to start the conversation.  The end result is I keep kicking it down the road and I know that the road ends eventually.  I know, I know just do it.

I have a suspicion that your wife probably already knows. People can be almost Sherlock Holmes-like when they want to be.

The conversation from her side may well be "Well duh!". The question is... how much is it hurting your relationship you not telling her if she does already know? How much of it is about trust? I know if it were me... I would be more hurt from someone not telling me about something than the something they were not telling me about. Particularly if I knew about it beforehand. And... trust me, I would know about it beforehand.

Tags: