Author Topic: Chapter 5: I am Emma  (Read 41517 times)

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Offline Pammie

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Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #1160 on: September 12, 2021, 08:25:15 am »
Thank you Rachel, Alice and Margrit.  This is not my grief but the grief of so many others, like any tragedy.  This one was felt by so many regardless of whether they were there or not.

 I t was felt so personally by everyone.
I’ve been watching some of the programs again and it is so horrific. I cannot imagine the pain of those who were actually in the middle of it. So much heroism and so much sadness. My heart goes out to you all. Xxx


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Offline Emma1017

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Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #1161 on: September 12, 2021, 11:51:18 am »
Pammie it defines selfless courage.  I watched it on for days with my friends.  It defines what makes us all human and something to be proud of. 

It's something I feel here in this community. 
  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Pammie

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Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #1162 on: September 12, 2021, 11:57:09 am »
Pammie it defines selfless courage.  I watched it on for days with my friends.  It defines what makes us all human and something to be proud of. 

It's something I feel here in this community.
Rightly so hun. It’s impossible to imagine the courage to  do what so many did and which cost so many their lives. I cannot watch any of it without crying myself at the sheer sadness of it all xx


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Offline Emma1017

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Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #1163 on: September 13, 2021, 03:59:28 pm »

Pammie it defines "tragedy".

Last week was rough for another reason.  I found out my son's training program restarts November 1, 2021 and he has 14 months to go, to February, 2023.  I will be 68 then.

I don't think I can wait that long.  I am going to try and get GCS next year because no one will even know the difference and then do FFS as soon as possible afterwards.  The problem is I am required to live openly as a woman for 12 months for GCS and I can't until I hand my business over to my son in 2023.  If I wait that long I may have aged out of being permitted to have GCS surgery for being too old!  I am trying for an exception.

I feel like the Fates are conspiring to make this as difficult as possible!

  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Pammie

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Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #1164 on: September 13, 2021, 04:49:39 pm »
Pammie it defines "tragedy".

Last week was rough for another reason.  I found out my son's training program restarts November 1, 2021 and he has 14 months to go, to February, 2023.  I will be 68 then.

I don't think I can wait that long.  I am going to try and get GCS next year because no one will even know the difference and then do FFS as soon as possible afterwards.  The problem is I am required to live openly as a woman for 12 months for GCS and I can't until I hand my business over to my son in 2023.  If I wait that long I may have aged out of being permitted to have GCS surgery for being too old!  I am trying for an exception.

I feel like the Fates are conspiring to make this as difficult as possible!
It might be a challenge to get an exception but good luck!
In terms of GCS it is also a very big step and there are a lot of things to consider not least the downtime for recovery and who your recovery support network is.


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Offline Emma1017

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Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #1165 on: September 15, 2021, 03:06:24 pm »

At this point there is only one person who knows I am transgender, other than my wife, who thinks I shouldn’t transition and that is me.

That is just stupid and I am done.

I am transitioning. My wife andI will talk this weekend and I am starting electrolysis again on Tuesday. I have also petitioned my GCS surgeon to see if I could get the surgery next year.  At the very least FFS.
  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Emma1017

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Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #1166 on: September 15, 2021, 04:26:34 pm »
I wanted to share two photos I took last night of the 911 Memorial in our community.  Each glass frame is for each of the 34 people who lost their lives that day.  There are only 4000 people here so everyone lost someone.  I think it was so fitting.  The cross was steel girders from the WTC that faces where the Towers stood across the harbor..






  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Pammie

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Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #1167 on: September 15, 2021, 04:30:59 pm »
I wanted to share two photos I took last night of the 911 Memorial in our community.  Each glass frame is for each of the 34 people who lost their lives that day.  There are only 4000 people here so everyone lost someone.  I think it was so fitting.  The cross was steel girders from the WTC that faces where the Towers stood across the harbor..





Awwww they are so beautiful xxx


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Offline Emma1017

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Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #1168 on: September 17, 2021, 06:54:18 am »

I feel like I am slowly emerging from under a thick, depressing fog.  I am seeing more and more Emma everyday and that makes me smile.  It means I am finally, truly accepting Emma is me and the man still in my mirror is only a part of me. 

I don't fear the mirror any more.

I feel like a gender air controller trying to stagger out all the surgeries and procedures over the next 18 months while I try to maintain my stealth at work.  Fortunately, even though our office is open, its a soft opening so every one is alternating days in the office or working from home.  That gives me tremendous latitude as I maneuver the next few months.

Light at the end of a very long tunnel???  Whatever will I have to write about when I get there ;D?  I'm sure I'll think of something...

Hugs,

Emma

  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Pammie

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Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #1169 on: September 17, 2021, 09:43:16 am »

Light at the end of a very long tunnel???  Whatever will I have to write about when I get there ;D?  I'm sure I'll think of something...

Hugs,

Emma
This is like a Netflix series - they better had make some new series!!
After you are finally emerged from your cocoon you can use your undoubted literary skills to talk about the flight of the butterfly, the scents of the flowers, the freedom of the air and the myriad colours of life in HD


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Offline Emma1017

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Re: Chapter 5: I am Emma
« Reply #1170 on: September 18, 2021, 10:21:07 am »

Oh God I have become a Netflix series?????? 

I suppose so with way too much drama and a story line way too long.  Maybe my series will finally be cancelled and put people out of their misery.

This is, without question, my favorite story I have written so far:

     https://emmah1017.medium.com/the-caterpillar-and-the-lonely-child-381a716c7875

It has a caterpillar in it.  Everyone gets three free reads on Medium a month so it won't cost anything.  God knows I don't write for the money, I would absolutely starve ;D.

I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did writing it.  It came from the heart.

Hugs,

Emma



  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

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