Topic: Megan's GRS Diary

[Megan.]

Douching involves flushing out the vagina with warm, fresh water.

Again, the wonderful nurses helped me into the bath, and using a small tube, about 100ml of water was used to flush out the blood and lube left in the vagina.

As with other steps in the process, no pain involved, merely... Invigorating! Lol

And finally, after all this, I finally, finally, got to have a shower - first in five days. I'm now back in bed, feeling fresh, full of coffee, and relaxing. It's been a blur of a morning, and I have to dilate and douche twice more today.

I'm finally have a chance to think and reflect on the events of the day, and what they mean to me personally. My next post will cover some medical concerns identifed by the nurse and my surgeon...

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[Megan.]

Only once the packing is out, are the nurse and surgeon able to fully see how healing is around the entrance to the neo-vagina.

The nurse obviously saw something, and a while later returned with the surgeon for him to take a look.

He identified some thin bands of darker tissue either side of the vaginal entrance. The darkness could indicate a lack of good blood flow, and so a potential of necrosis or future granulation.

I've been asked to send pictures daily to the GRS team so it can be monitored once I return home.

This is not an ideal situation, and not what I wanted, but is also quite common, and does not raise any major concern with me.

The scrotal graft procedure I had obviously uses multiple smaller pieces of donor tissue in the construction, in comparison to a straight penile-inversion method. So there is a greater risk of losing one of these pieces. I was also told for information by the nurse, that due to extra internal stitches used for this method, the vagina will likely create more discharge initially.

I'll post updates here on progress in this matter. X

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[Megan.]

What a day.... And it's not even lunchtime.

I identify as pansexual, my own physical sexual makeup, and that of my partner aren't really a focus for me. I enjoy sex, but vaginal penetration hasn't ever been a point of sexual fantasy for me. I consider sex a broad experience of physical intimacy, the specifics being irrelevant, it's a connection between the physical and emotional bodies.

I'm not sure if, when and to what extent penetration is something I'd want in a sexual experience, but I have an open mind to exploring it.

The experience of physically inserting the dilator for the first time was not affirming for me, and I honestly didn't expect it to be. My feelings may change over time - with my new configuration, and having more comfortable and private surroundings in which to relax into it.

I was glad the two nurses present were women. My whole transition has taught me of the connection women share. Cis-men have one too, but vastly different in nature.

Overall, I feel positive having reached this point in this particular (GRS) experience. I've been living as Megan for over three years now, and the physical parts of my transition have only been one, and for me, the smaller part of that journey.

I'll try to share more in future, but it's really quite overwhelming, and hard to put much more into words.

Stay tuned... X



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[Megan.]

I'm afraid there is too much literal toilet talk in this diary, but it's relevant, I promise :-)

I had my first urination after the removal of my catheter. It was collected and the volume measured, and the nurse used a scanner to check the quantity of remaining urine in my bladder. It was found to be completely empty, which is good and means none is being retained. I need to repeat this process two more times to check the all-clear box.

I seem to have full bladder control, in exactly the same way as before surgery. The urine exists faster than before however. Simply due to the shorter urethra, the old 'pause' between relaxing the bladder sphincter and seeing a flow is now almost zero.

The urine - as expected - went everywhere! A new configuration and swelling. This is a reality for many cis-women, so part of my new reality too. Taking others advice, I leant forward slightly to help direct the flow down not forward, this worked well.

I'm using a combination of toilet towel and we wipes after toilet trips to keep the area as clean, fresh and hygienic as I can.

I will aim for my dilation around 4pm this afternoon, and my final for the day around 9pm before bed time. Hopefully these will go as smoothly as the first one.

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[sarahc]

Always a relief that you can pee normally...hopefully you're heading to an on-time discharge.

Thanks for all the real-time commentary.

Sarah

I'm afraid there is too much literal toilet talk in this diary, but it's relevant, I promise :-)

I had my first urination after the removal of my catheter. It was collected and the volume measured, and the nurse used a scanner to check the quantity of remaining urine in my bladder. It was found to be completely empty, which is good and means none is being retained. I need to repeat this process two more times to check the all-clear box.

I seem to have full bladder control, in exactly the same way as before surgery. The urine exists faster than before however. Simply due to the shorter urethra, the old 'pause' between relaxing the bladder sphincter and seeing a flow is now almost zero.

The urine - as expected - went everywhere! A new configuration and swelling. This is a reality for many cis-women, so part of my new reality too. Taking others advice, I leant forward slightly to help direct the flow down not forward, this worked well.

I'm using a combination of toilet towel and we wipes after toilet trips to keep the area as clean, fresh and hygienic as I can.

I will aim for my dilation around 4pm this afternoon, and my final for the day around 9pm before bed time. Hopefully these will go as smoothly as the first one.

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[Megan.]

Always a relief that you can pee normally...hopefully you're heading to an on-time discharge.

Thanks for all the real-time commentary.

Sarah

Sarah, indeed! There's often a focus on depth, size, appearance, or ability to orgasm, but my first concerns are basic toilet functions and a healthy healing process. X

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[Mariah]

Congrats!. So glad things are going well. Hugs
Mariah

[Megan.]

Congrats!. So glad things are going well. Hugs
Mariah

Ty :-). X

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[Megan.]

Second dilation done, and all on my own I'll have you know ;-)

I basically followed the same process as before with the nurses. Made sure I had everything to hand for the dilation, and for the douche afterwards.

I found the entrance without issue, and now with a little more privacy, could relax more, and gently got to depth without much fuss.

As before, 20 minutes with the dilator inserted, then remove it, and douche. After the douche I used the shower cassette in the bath to rinse myself downstairs as the douche covers my legs in watery goo :-D.

Tiny amount of stinging once the dilator was removed, but that has quickly faded.

Overall, now the pack is out, pain levels are barely 1/10, and sitting is far more comfortable, a little tender, and feels different to how it did before.

I've successfully completed my three urinations without any issue, and the three follow-up scans showed little if any urine in the bladder, so the plumbing is good.

I think I'm all ready to go home!

I have one more dilation this evening, one in the morning, and then my beautiful wife will be here to chauffeur me home :-). X

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[Pammie]

Second dilation done, and all on my own I'll have you know ;-)

I basically followed the same process as before with the nurses. Made sure I had everything to hand for the dilation, and for the douche afterwards.

I found the entrance without issue, and now with a little more privacy, could relax more, and gently got to depth without much fuss.

As before, 20 minutes with the dilator inserted, then remove it, and douche. After the douche I used the shower cassette in the bath to rinse myself downstairs as the douche covers my legs in watery goo :-D.

Tiny amount of stinging once the dilator was removed, but that has quickly faded.

Overall, now the pack is out, pain levels are barely 1/10, and sitting is far more comfortable, a little tender, and feels different to how it did before.

I've successfully completed my three urinations without any issue, and the three follow-up scans showed little if any urine in the bladder, so the plumbing is good.

I think I'm all ready to go home!

I have one more dilation this evening, one in the morning, and then my beautiful wife will be here to chauffeur me home :-). X

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Wonderful! Im so pleased for you! Xxx


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[Mariah]

That is fantastic. The first dilation that I did on my own is probably the one that scared me the most. You will be home before you know it. Hugs
Mariah

Second dilation done, and all on my own I'll have you know ;-)

I basically followed the same process as before with the nurses. Made sure I had everything to hand for the dilation, and for the douche afterwards.

I found the entrance without issue, and now with a little more privacy, could relax more, and gently got to depth without much fuss.

As before, 20 minutes with the dilator inserted, then remove it, and douche. After the douche I used the shower cassette in the bath to rinse myself downstairs as the douche covers my legs in watery goo :-D.

Tiny amount of stinging once the dilator was removed, but that has quickly faded.

Overall, now the pack is out, pain levels are barely 1/10, and sitting is far more comfortable, a little tender, and feels different to how it did before.

I've successfully completed my three urinations without any issue, and the three follow-up scans showed little if any urine in the bladder, so the plumbing is good.

I think I'm all ready to go home!

I have one more dilation this evening, one in the morning, and then my beautiful wife will be here to chauffeur me home :-). X

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[Megan.]

Day 5 Summary:

* Pain (after pack removal) 1/10, with occasional twinges.
* anti-DVT injection given.
* Ibuprofen and paracetamol for pain relief.
* Catheter removed.
* Urine retention checked, and none found (good).
* Packing removed.
* Three dilations to good depth (5-6").
* Mr Bellringer inspection, some possible necrosis spotted, under observation.
* BP, O2 and temp taken and all good.
* Stood to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.
* Walked at least 800m up and down the corridor.
* Watched films.
* Ate tasty food.
* Bruising fading in some areas and still coming out in others.
* Swelling down sightly in some areas, and same in others.

A long and busy day compared to the last, learning and doing my dilation and the bits around that. Emotional, but positive. X

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[Northern Star Girl]

@Megan.   cc: @Devlyn
Dear Megan:
Thank you so very much for documenting your "exciting" days at the hospital...  the information that you are posting will be very useful for our members that are planning their future GRS surgeries.

Hopefully tomorrow, Sunday, is still the day that you are checking out of the hospital and going home!!!
HUGS,
Danielle

[ChrissyRyan]

Megan,

Things seem to be going very well for you, and that is good to hear.

Get some rest.

Hugs,

Chrissy

[Alice]

Megan,

I am so glad everything is going so smoothly.

Alice

[Megan.]

I got another five hours broken sleep last night. Standing up first thing in the morning makes things a bit sore, I guess as blood and gravity kick in. I still have quite a bit of swelling, which is probably partly responsible.

On my final day they brought me a Queens breakfast, double sausages and bacon, so I ate well and managed a bathroom visit to clear space for my morning dilation.

Dilation was hard this morning. The left side at the entrance was a bit tender, and stung a bit. I was only able to reach first-dot depth, substantially less than yesterday, so I wasn't all the way in :-(. I'm guessing the morning ones will usually be hardest...

I've emailed the GRS nurse, so they know my status.

I'm struggling to find a comfortable position in which to dilate so I can relax all my muscles and feel supported. I'll be home for the next one, so I'll see how it goes there. I'll try some relaxing breathing beforehand and calm music too, see if that helps.

My wonderful Devlyn is on her way to collect me, so I should be away from the hospital in the next couple of hours. I'm just packing up my few things, and putting on some actual proper clothes for the journey home - I've lived in nightwear this last week. X

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[ChrissyRyan]

It will be good to be home.   


Chrissy

[Megan.]

Back home after a faultless drive back from your forum admin Devlyn, thanks baby! X

I want to eat healthy for my recovery, but we stopped for burgers on the way home, as I NEEDED one lol.

My final blood levels showed minor iron deficiency, but not low enough to warrant supplements - which could cause constipation.

No infection was suggested, and my other readings have been solid all week.

The home recovery will now start. But I'll make a couple more posts on this thread before I start the next, separate thread... GRS The After-Party, which will focus on the next couple of months of my recovery.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=254847.0

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[sarahc]

Yay - congrats on a successful recovery so far. And I’m sure that you have a helper who will pamper you during the next stage of your recovery.

Sarah

[Devlyn]

It's nice to have her back home.