Author Topic: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last  (Read 8824 times)

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Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #200 on: April 21, 2021, 05:36:18 pm »
Assuming that was a genuine question rather than a rhetorical argument, I will try to offer some reasons so many Americans drive big trucks.

First of all, the difference in fuel price makes it affordable to drive a truck for most people here.  But, a lot of people who only need a truck some of the time can only reasonably have one vehicle.  So, they buy an SUV or a truck.  Chevy Tahoe's and Ford Broncos are utility vehicles, that fit well with the lifestyle in relatively small town America.

I have a Sierra 1500 4WD.  I own timber land, and the roads (particularly when logging trucks are getting the trees out) are rough and prone to getting you stuck.  A 4 wheel drive truck is effective enough at handling the rugged, muddy "road".  Or, maybe you want to use an ATV for that.  You are going to need something to tow that ATV.  And, you are going to need to leave the paved road and drive onto the property.  So, you are going to need a truck to pull that ATV trailer.

My niece is engaged to a young man that sells real estate (timber tracts).  He needs the truck he drives to show properties. 

My contractor drives a truck to pull trailers and to haul supplies in the back.  A lot of the trucks on the road here are "work trucks".  Maybe they are used to tow a trailer with a Bobcat, a mini-excavator, or a farm tractor.  Maybe they need them to haul 55 gallon oil drums, plants for landscaping or lumber.   

Most men in my area hunt, and therefore drive their vehicles off road.  There aren't too many trucks where I live that never leave the paved road, and those that do fit that description are generally used to carry a load or pull a heavy trailer.

Some people have them just for pulling trailers (like boat trailers).  If you have a boat that weighs 3,000-5,000 pounds (and a LOT of people around here do) a car will not safely pull it (or more precisely, won't have the power to pull up hills, and won't have the braking to stop the vehicle in a safe distance).   

Now, I have a car also.  The car gets much better gas mileage.  When I am not hauling a load, or going off road, I take the car.  I used my truck today to pull my trailer to take items to storage.  If I am going fishing in my bass boat, or to the lake with the ski boat, or pulling the Wave Runners somewhere, I need a truck. 

If you live in NYC, or LA, and you don't need to haul heavy payloads, you probably don't need a truck.  If you live in the places that those from big cities call "fly over country", you probably need at least one truck in your household.  If you can't afford two vehicles for yourself, the practical solution is to drive the truck everywhere.


You may not need any vehicle if you live in NYC.

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

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Offline Rachel Montgomery

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #201 on: April 21, 2021, 08:38:02 pm »

You may not need any vehicle if you live in NYC.

Chrissy

True.  The only time I ride in a car on Manhattan is to and from the airport.  Everything else is walk or subway.

Offline RandiL

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #202 on: April 22, 2021, 12:34:38 am »
I met with my supervisor this afternoon. She's so good, she always asks how things are going outside of work first. She wasn't sure how to ask about my transition and didn't want to be too intrusive. But I assured her I'm happy to answer questions. I showed her my new ear piercings and my growing breasts lol (no I didn't pull up my shirt!). She asked about electrolysis and I showed her what we've been working on with my face. She does laser on her legs, so I guess she didn't connect to doing hair removal on my face until I showed her.

I started the discussion about announcing my transition at work, or not announcing, whenever they get ready to bring us back in to the office. That is still some months off.

My therapist suggested writing "bad poetry" as a way to get in touch with my ambivalence about referring to myself as she/her. "Bad" poetry so I don't worry about quality  ;D

In voice we've been working on "vocal tilt" which is a subtlety that can have a big impact on your voice. Think about how you praise a dog, "Oh Bela, you're such a good dog" vs how you scold the same dog, "Oh Bela, I wish you wouldn't get into the trash." Interesting and difficult to be consistent.
Forging my new, best life as Randi

My personal blog thread: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

My HRT thread: Randi's HRT Journal


Offline RandiL

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #203 on: April 22, 2021, 12:41:05 am »
I am very consistent about posting on Susan's right about 11:30pm MDT (apparently the susans.org server is in the Central US timezone, so that would be 12:30pm CDT). It seems every night I hit Post, and nothing happens. I've now learned to look at the time. Tonight it said 11:32pm so I just waited. The post went through a couple of minutes later.

I'm guessing the server does database maintenance or something similar at that time, or perhaps a restart to clear memory leaks. Isn't software so cool? Whodda guessed that computers could leak?
Forging my new, best life as Randi

My personal blog thread: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

My HRT thread: Randi's HRT Journal


Offline TSL_NB

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #204 on: April 22, 2021, 03:09:28 am »
I met with my supervisor this afternoon. She's so good, she always asks how things are going outside of work first. She wasn't sure how to ask about my transition and didn't want to be too intrusive. But I assured her I'm happy to answer questions. I showed her my new ear piercings and my growing breasts lol (no I didn't pull up my shirt!). She asked about electrolysis and I showed her what we've been working on with my face. She does laser on her legs, so I guess she didn't connect to doing hair removal on my face until I showed her.

I started the discussion about announcing my transition at work, or not announcing, whenever they get ready to bring us back in to the office. That is still some months off.

My therapist suggested writing "bad poetry" as a way to get in touch with my ambivalence about referring to myself as she/her. "Bad" poetry so I don't worry about quality  ;D

In voice we've been working on "vocal tilt" which is a subtlety that can have a big impact on your voice. Think about how you praise a dog, "Oh Bela, you're such a good dog" vs how you scold the same dog, "Oh Bela, I wish you wouldn't get into the trash." Interesting and difficult to be consistent.

Hey, sis - your supervisor sounds pretty awesome. :)
I'm glad you're able to get support on the voice training side, too.   I still don't have access to that part, and I've been trying to work on it as I go along with things. 
-Vivian
It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline davina61

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #205 on: April 22, 2021, 03:17:09 am »
Yes the wonders of modern tech , my internet is chugging this morning. Have a group voice lesson on Teams 30th of this month , its been 4 months since last one .
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


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Offline RandiL

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #206 on: May 02, 2021, 06:19:23 pm »
Another Sunday, lying on the couch after my long run. Weekends are just so exhausting

I rode my bike two and a half hours yesterday over some major hills. Then today it was three and a quarter hours on foot into the mountains and across a couple valleys and ridges in the Waldo burn scar and down beautiful Williams Canyon back into town.

I wore a skort and a light blue long sleeve top with my wide brim purple hat. Pretty clearly presenting female but nobody commented on the contrast against my clearly male face and body. That's all good, maybe I opened some eyes.

My work supervisor told me she saw a photo after somebody had electrolysis on their neck, and it was all red and swollen. She was very impressed by what we go through and pledged to never minimize the pain involved.

I'm going to the wig shop on Wednesday. It'll be interesting to see what they can do for me. I'd prefer to have a topper that coordinates with my own hair but I don't know if that's realistic. I also suspect I'll need a separate "exercise" wig to sweat in since I do that nearly every day.

This photo from today shows one reason why these long treks through the mountains are so worthwhile to me.

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Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #207 on: May 02, 2021, 07:30:52 pm »
@RandiL
Dear Randi:
Thank you for sharing about your active day.   In the picture that your posted, the hills look awfully dry... is that normal in your area at this time of year?

Where I live here everything stays green throughout the year.

Wishing you success in finding a wig or topper solution that you can be happy with.

Finally as the weather is becoming more like Spring I will be getting out and doing some hiking and more walking around my town.  Also the gym is open so I have been resuming my weekly Gym-Gals time exercising and working out.
Fortunately I am able to keep my weight under control and am in good physical shape so I am ready for the hiking
trails up in the hills as soon as more of the snow up there melts... maybe in a few weeks.

I had a much lower key Sunday than you did... after church went to lunch with my Tooth-Fairy then came home and read some pages in a good book that I have been reading, took a brief Sunday afternoon nap... and now I am just doing some house chores, laundry, vacuuming the floors, dusting, cleaning the kitchen, etc.

Again, thank your for posting and sharing.
HUGS,
Danielle
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Offline RandiL

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #208 on: May 02, 2021, 10:31:04 pm »
Hi @Northern Star Girl Danielle,

The hills look dry because I was in the middle of the huge 18,274 acre Waldo Canyon Fire scar. See this Wikipedia article for information.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waldo_Canyon_Fire?wprov=sfla1

The fire was in 2012 and destroyed 346 homes in Colorado Springs, also killing two people who didn't evacuate in time.

The forest service reopened the last of the scar to the public a few years ago. You have to watch for falling snags (stay away on windy days) and a lot of the trails are in bad shape or even completely washed away in the post-fire erosion which was severe.

The brown hills are largely scrub oak which hasn't leafed out yet. It's still early spring here. But a lot of that area was always dry and only sporadically covered by trees. You can see higher forested slopes in the background beyond the burn.

The route I took today has long been a favorite of hikers and runners in the area. In fact my wife and I were married in a meadow in 1984 about where the fire started.

I hope you never have to see such a favorite place devastated by a fire like this, but with climate change we are already seeing more and bigger fires every year.

I hope you're able to get out and hike in your beautiful mountains soon.

I found these pasque flowers in the burn scar today. Nature is recovering.

Hugs for people and nature, Randi

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My HRT thread: Randi's HRT Journal


Offline Emma1017

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #209 on: May 03, 2021, 07:21:55 am »

Hey Randi just getting caught up on your blog. 

The photo of the flower was amazing considering the seeds were buried under burning rubble.  It was also great to read that your supervisor was so supportive.  It is great to compare beauty care with another woman as another woman.  It is so meaningful.

Just a note on cars in NYC.  People assume that Manhattan is NYC.  It absolutely is not.  The other boroughs are huge.  I live in Brooklyn and have two cars and a two car garage.  Friends from Texas would tease me about not being able to hunt and being stuck in the City but I would remind them that Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island have miles of beaches.  I grew up surfing, scuba diving and deep sea fishing miles of shore.  Our mountains are under water.

So glad you are doing well.

Hugs,

Emma


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Offline TSL_NB

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #210 on: May 04, 2021, 03:10:10 am »
Hey Randi....I'm way behind on everyones' blogs as well.   

That is a very inspiring pic of those flowers, sis.  It strikes a tone of familiarity (in a good way). :)

With my toppers, I've had to save up to do this, but I actually have three of the same one now.  Two I alternate for basic usage, and the third one, which is the older more worn-out one, I use for more rough occasions (exercise or dirty work).

The only problem I'm finding with Jon Renau, is that at the moment, they don't make grey shades in the length I like, and my bio hair is starting to go that way a lot more, so we'll see.
-Vivian
It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline Sephirah

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #211 on: May 04, 2021, 02:51:11 pm »
I'm going to the wig shop on Wednesday. It'll be interesting to see what they can do for me. I'd prefer to have a topper that coordinates with my own hair but I don't know if that's realistic. I also suspect I'll need a separate "exercise" wig to sweat in since I do that nearly every day.

I'll be honest.. I don't get the appeal. Hair doesn't maketh the person.

You are you. You're beautiful as you are. There are innumerable women with shorter hair. They're no less beautiful because of it. Long hair doesn't make someone drop dead gorgeous. Trust me. When you're into metal music and you see long flowing locks... only to find it belongs to someone with a three foot beard and 50 inch waist...

Randi, just be you. I know the hair thing gives some people confidence but... it's just hair. It doesn't make someone more feminine. :)

You're gorgeous as you are. <3

Offline RandiL

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #212 on: May 04, 2021, 03:55:08 pm »
I'll be honest.. I don't get the appeal. Hair doesn't maketh the person.

You are you. You're beautiful as you are. There are innumerable women with shorter hair. They're no less beautiful because of it. Long hair doesn't make someone drop dead gorgeous. Trust me. When you're into metal music and you see long flowing locks... only to find it belongs to someone with a three foot beard and 50 inch waist...

Randi, just be you. I know the hair thing gives some people confidence but... it's just hair. It doesn't make someone more feminine. :)

You're gorgeous as you are. <3
Thank you for the encouragement Sephirah. However I have male pattern baldness. The entire top of my head has only a little sparse hair and the front 4 inches or so is completely shiny bald.

I hide this effectively in all my photos and in person by wearing a variety of hats. But I long to get out without hats too.

Yes some women have alopecia and are partially or fully bald. And they can look beautiful, such as US Representative Ayanna Pressley who is upfront about having lost all her hair.

I know some folks just go out as their feminine selves while showing their bald tops. And good for them! But that's a step too far for me at this point. Maybe I'll get there...

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Offline Sephirah

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #213 on: May 04, 2021, 04:03:04 pm »
Thank you for the encouragement Sephirah. However I have male pattern baldness. The entire top of my head has only a little sparse hair and the front 4 inches or so is completely shiny bald.

I hide this effectively in all my photos and in person by wearing a variety of hats. But I long to get out without hats too.

Yes some women have alopecia and are partially or fully bald. And they can look beautiful, such as US Representative Ayanna Pressley who is upfront about having lost all her hair.

I know some folks just go out as their feminine selves while showing their bald tops. And good for them! But that's a step too far for me at this point. Maybe I'll get there...

Sent from my dual-floppy Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

Whatever makes you feel better about yourself, sweetie. Self confidence is like 90% of the battle. When you feel good inside, you project that onto the world. :)

But take it from someone who has very long hair... it's more of a pain than a blessing. :P Hair product companies love you.

Offline TSL_NB

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #214 on: May 04, 2021, 04:31:05 pm »
I don't want to hijack this thread, but I just wanted to share my feelings, as someone who relies on toppers for my hair.

for me, the hair loss was one of the HUGE dysphoria triggers I had to contend with for a lot of my life.  I've been able to reconcile having it happen, as many cisgender women also have to deal with alopecia.     But, being able to embrace a remedy for it, that's really important for me.   

I just think we need to be cognisant that when dealing with hair loss, there isn't a 'one size fits all' answer.  I've observed some cisgender and transgender women embrace their hair loss, and they look absolutely wonderful.  For me, using a prosthetic is the solution (for others it could be restoration surgery, or Minoxidil, or hats...what works for some, doesn't for others).

Also, in my situation, when I did come out, I was told my 'baldness was beautiful,' as a subversive conversion therapy tactic.  It turned into 'you need to just embrace your body as it is,' which then turned into 'you shouldn't transition,' which in turn, nearly turned into my death.   

So, for me (and again, this is my unique situation), my using my topper is part of my celebrating that I'm here, I'm me, and I'm finally happy. :)



Randi/Sephirah, sorry, I didn't mean to hijack the dialogue, sisters!  Thanks for listening. :)
-Vivian 

It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline RandiL

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #215 on: May 04, 2021, 04:44:48 pm »
Thanks Vivian, and no it's absolutely not hijacking the thread. It's totally relevant to the discussion and I appreciate your viewpoint. In fact it's a better statement of my own viewpoint than what I myself said a little while ago

Thank you for posting and you're welcome to write anything you want on here, even if it's not on topic.

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My personal blog thread: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

My HRT thread: Randi's HRT Journal


Offline TSL_NB

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #216 on: May 04, 2021, 04:51:23 pm »
Thanks Vivian, and no it's absolutely not hijacking the thread. It's totally relevant to the discussion and I appreciate your viewpoint. In fact it's a better statement of my own viewpoint than what I myself said a little while ago

Thank you for posting and you're welcome to write anything you want on here, even if it's not on topic.

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Thanks, sis!   

We're an awesome family here! :)
-Vivian
It took over 40 years to realise, and believe, that what I am NOT, is a mistake.

(Yes, I'm a Canadian who served in the US Navy....)


Offline RandiL

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #217 on: May 04, 2021, 05:02:23 pm »
Also Vivian, you helped clarify that my feelings about my hair are a part of my dysphoria.

Dysphoria comes from so many things, and each of us has a different set of them.

Head hair, body and facial hair, hormones, breasts, genitals, name, height, weight, voice, facial shape, shoulders, fat distribution, rib cage, toenails lol that's just me.

Joy to any of us who can leave some of these off their personal lists. And here's to coming to terms with our own personal demons. We are all wonderful! Hugs, Randi

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Offline RandiL

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #218 on: May 04, 2021, 05:25:33 pm »
Ok one more post from me. I just saw the plea for funds from Susan's Place owner Susan Larson. I just made an additional donation above my usual monthly one. If you have the means I hope you will also donate to keep this site on the air. It is such a valuable resource for the community.

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My personal blog thread: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

My HRT thread: Randi's HRT Journal


Offline RandiL

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Re: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last
« Reply #219 on: May 16, 2021, 11:20:54 pm »
I did go buy a wig. I'm a little ambivalent about the color (I feel like slightly darker would be better) but this is what I could get and the texture matches my own hair. The shop owner spent an hour trimming and thinning it, which improved it a lot.

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Forging my new, best life as Randi

My personal blog thread: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

My HRT thread: Randi's HRT Journal


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