Author Topic: What is your reaction and feelings when and if you get “clocked”?  (Read 545 times)

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Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: What is your reaction and feelings when and if you get “clocked”?
« Reply #20 on: November 25, 2020, 01:14:46 pm »
Oh I wish this didn’t get to me but it really always does and I can’t stop being impacted by it. It makes my heart sink, my stomach churn and my self-belief quaver. Im 6’2” and that is a challenge as there no other women my height in the whole of Manchester (that I’ve met!).
I just desperately need to pass and not passing really hurts. Im very weak , I see that.


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I wish you are envisioned by the multitudes as a princess Pammie.

Inside and out, a princess.  :)

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: What is your reaction and feelings when and if you get “clocked”?
« Reply #21 on: November 25, 2020, 01:16:11 pm »
I'm not that observational!

I work on the assumption that I don't pass, 5'10" and 190lbs, I'm a 'tall ship'

My reaction if I think someone knows I'm trans is to carry on like normal. If they want to have a negative response, then I'll manage that, but more than 99% if my experiences have been positive.

Devlyn and I, out and about together, do attract some attention. It's not deliberate, but also fairly unavoidable. And neither of us is going to lock ourselves in to keep others happy.

If someone knows I'm trans, then they also know I'm happy, confident and proud with it. I've educated them without even trying. X

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Sounds healthy and effective @Megan.

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: What is your reaction and feelings when and if you get “clocked”?
« Reply #22 on: November 25, 2020, 01:27:54 pm »
Grimace a little bit internally and ignore it externally. At this point, I really only get clocked when I put zero effort into my appearance. But when I do get clocked, it’s not worth the effort to correct someone who I’ll likely never see again.

Sarah

That seems like a practical point of view! 

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: What is your reaction and feelings when and if you get “clocked”?
« Reply #23 on: November 25, 2020, 01:30:01 pm »
I really don't try to pass as I'm early in my transition and lack a lot of things, like a reliable voice and facial hair removal. This also in theory shields me from feeling bad when I get a Sir, since I didn't expect to pass anyway.

Yet, when shopping dressed femme, I was still put off by the clerk calling me sir. Doesn't he see what I'm wearing? But then, maybe a male wouldn't notice my clothing lol

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Sometimes some clerks do not pay much attention.  Some have not said Hi to customers.  Not good at all.

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: What is your reaction and feelings when and if you get “clocked”?
« Reply #24 on: November 25, 2020, 01:35:55 pm »
I was clocked hard on the phone when I was getting an update on Megan. It was "sir" all the way through the phone tree.  :laugh:

A reminder for everyone, it isn't all about what you look like.  :)


@Devlyn

Yes, I understand!  It is a sound investment to spend time with voice training, that is for sure, at least for me!

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Pammie

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Re: What is your reaction and feelings when and if you get “clocked”?
« Reply #25 on: November 25, 2020, 01:37:40 pm »

I wish you are envisioned by the multitudes as a princess Pammie.

Inside and out, a princess.  :)

Chrissy
Awwww  - my Andy calls me his princess, I think he means I expect constant attention and being looked after


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Offline Misato

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Re: What is your reaction and feelings when and if you get “clocked”?
« Reply #26 on: November 25, 2020, 03:00:59 pm »
I'm sir'd all the time on the phone, and on the radio cause my voice ain't so great. Phone I'll correct, radio I don't bother cause we've all got more important things to tend to at that time.

What really gets me isn't so much getting clocked in public cause that's really rare. I think the last time was checking into a hot springs resort just about a year ago now. I pretended like I didn't hear, then I went and used the women's changing room for the second time in my life anyway.

It's all the systems that have my male name in them that really bother me. My cellphone company showed it to me on their website this week! So many of the calls I was getting before the election asking for money had my old name. It's not even intentional when that happens, just sloppy data management.

Offline putaringonit

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Re: What is your reaction and feelings when and if you get “clocked”?
« Reply #27 on: November 25, 2020, 03:02:25 pm »
I usually feel kind of embarrassed, as the times it has happened, it is usually when there's a lot of people around, so I just ignore it/remain silent so as to not attract more attention to the topic...

HOWEVEEEEEER... I'm trying to work on that. I am trying to be more outspoken and I have promised myself that next time it happens I am going to be straightforward but polite, saying something along the lines of "Actually, it's Allison. And female pronouns, nouns and adjectives are preferred. Thanks".
I think, in my personal situation, if I don't clearly state my preferred pronouns/etc and my chosen name, it'll only give other people the "permission" to keep doing it or to start doing it too.

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: What is your reaction and feelings when and if you get “clocked”?
« Reply #28 on: November 25, 2020, 03:54:58 pm »
I'm sir'd all the time on the phone, and on the radio cause my voice ain't so great. Phone I'll correct, radio I don't bother cause we've all got more important things to tend to at that time.

What really gets me isn't so much getting clocked in public cause that's really rare. I think the last time was checking into a hot springs resort just about a year ago now. I pretended like I didn't hear, then I went and used the women's changing room for the second time in my life anyway.

It's all the systems that have my male name in them that really bother me. My cellphone company showed it to me on their website this week! So many of the calls I was getting before the election asking for money had my old name. It's not even intentional when that happens, just sloppy data management.

Sloppy, yes it is.

It is nice to see your female name, always.   :)

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline ChrissyRyan

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What is your reaction and feelings when and if you get “clocked”?
« Reply #29 on: November 25, 2020, 04:45:16 pm »
Thank you for your many comments to date.

I certainly cannot fault someone who uses a wrong pronoun when I sound male on the telephone.
Voice is one way to recognize someone, and that includes that someone being thought of by voice as being male or female.

Now if I looked like a woman in front of someone yet I sounded male, that provides 
more information that person has to process and to determine how to respond.  Likely the safest way for someone to reply is to avoid using any pronouns. 

But when you know you did not pass, for whatever reason, it is not the highlight of your day, that is for sure.  Enjoy the good days.  :)


Chrissy




Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

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