Topic: GRS - The After-Party

[sarahc]

Great...things seem so much better since the visit to the doctor.

Definitely seems like it’s time to purple it up!

Sarah

[Megan.]

Great...things seem so much better since the visit to the doctor.

Definitely seems like it’s time to purple it up!

Sarah

Yes! Chalk and cheese...

There is still some granulation tissue, but it's much reduced and hopefully the steroid cream will help that heal too. X

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[Megan.]

Daily Summary (26-Jan-2021):

1D:SS0-FD-D20
2D:SS0-FD-D20
3D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5

Gentle reintroduction of the SS1/Purple this evening. In the third session I was able to get the smaller dilator close to the fifth dot (fourth just inside), I was then able to get the larger dilator to the first dot.

My understanding with sizing up on dilators is to keep the smaller size as your main 'tool' until you can get the next size up to the same depth. You do that by adding it to the end of your session, once the muscles are already warm and relaxed. Even with this approach there is discomfort, I'm stretching tissue (skin).

It may take me several weeks or more, but there is no rush, and I'll get there in the end. And then it'll start again with the next size up... X

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[Mariah]

Correct Megan. You always make sure the size up is in at full depth (i.e. 5th dot) before dropping the dilator below it. Sounds like your making progress though. Congrats. Hugs
Mariah

[Megan.]

Correct Megan. You always make sure the size up is in at full depth (i.e. 5th dot) before dropping the dilator below it. Sounds like your making progress though. Congrats. Hugs
Mariah

Thnx ;-). A few set backs but it feels like I'm moving forward slowly but surely now. X

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[Megan.]

Daily Summary (27-Jan-2021):

1D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5
2D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5
3D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5

Three good sessions. Still no further depth with the SS1/Purple - 1st dot, as yesterday. But I can feel the extra stretching, and it's making insertion of the smaller dilator easier in the subsequent session. I'm also seeing good depth with the SS0/Orange with less discomfort.

We went for a nice 2km walk today and it was no effort, with almost zero discomfort of any kind. All positive. X

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[sarahc]

I’m so happy for the progress that you’ve made! Hopefully it will inspire me during my tough dilation moments.

Sarah

[Megan.]

Daily Summary (28-Jan-2021):

1D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5
2D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5
3D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5

Small but positive progress. In the third session I was able to get the larger dilator 1/4" deeper than yesterday.

I think, given what i can feel with the smaller dilator, that there is a narrow point at 3 1/2" (first dot). If I can get past that point with the larger one, then I'll likely get quite easily to the 3rd dot before it'll tighten up again.

It's funny, but I now have quite a good mental map of my vagina in my mind. X

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[Megan.]

Daily Summary (29-Jan-2021):

1D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5
2D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5
3D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5

In my third session I got the larger dilator to the second dot, more progress! As I'm slowly sizing up, I'm finding the smaller one even easier to insert.

At this point I'm getting very confident about dilation, and feel I have some control with it. There is no pain at all. Discomfort is from the sizing up, and I try to find the point where I'm obviously stretching tissue without doing damage. X

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[Megan.]

Daily Summary (30-Jan-2021):

1D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5
2D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5
3D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5

Another half-a-dot of progress with the larger (SS1/Purple) dilator; getting the second dot inside and half-way to the third.

I'm starting to simplify my dilation routine where possible in preparation for returning to work in a little over a week. And also slowly shifting the timing of my sessions earlier in the day, so I can get one in before the work day starts.

I'm unsure right now about maintaining three/day or dropping to two. I'm fortunate that I have great support from work and I can flex my day and time around dilation to a good extent. I'm sure keeping three sessions will help me in sizing up, so that will be my aim initially. X

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[Northern Star Girl]

@Megan.
Dear Megan:
Your dilation tasks are progressing nicely.... and you will end up with a detail record that you can be quite happy with.

Slow but steady is the theme in dilation.

Thank you for openly sharing yourself on your thread.   

Hmmm, getting ready to return to work next week....  are any of the Covid lock-downs and restrictions going to impinge on your work and job?

Thanks again for sharing.
Stay safe, stay healthy.

HUGS, and wishing you well.
Danielle

[Megan.]

Contemplation and reflection at times today...

Since my surgery, my energy and focus has been on the 'now'. Pain, discomfort, dilation, complications and healing. Rebuilding my strength and stamina and a very incremental return to my old self.

I'm now, finally, looking forward. To who and what I am, and will be. It's very abstract right now. My core sense of self remains, but has also shifted to some extent.

I'm different to what i was before. My social transition felt like a dream, something I didn't ever think I could have and then did. But this is different. I never dreamt of having GRS, it was an emotional need, not a conscious thought.

This all sounds quite 'waffly', but they are best words I can find.

I'm no longer sure what my hopes, dreams and aspirations are; and this is perhaps the first time in my adult life I can say that. I feel lost to some extent, but also free, unconstrained.

Back in late 2016, before my social transition and HRT, I went on a mediation and yoga retreat - not typical for me if you know me. I felt it was important to centre my energy for the coming journey. Yesterday I found myself once again considering another retreat, and I hope once lockdown eases to take such a break.

For now, I think that's it. As always I keep an open mind to opportunities and change. X

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[Megan.]

@Megan.
Dear Megan:
Your dilation tasks are progressing nicely.... and you will end up with a detail record that you can be quite happy with.

Slow but steady is the theme in dilation.

Thank you for openly sharing yourself on your thread.   

Hmmm, getting ready to return to work next week....  are any of the Covid lock-downs and restrictions going to impinge on your work and job?

Thanks again for sharing.
Stay safe, stay healthy.

HUGS, and wishing you well.
Danielle

Thnx Danielle,


"Slow and steady" wins the race ;-)

My job is fully remote for now, the beauty of working in Tech for a good and modern employer. I'll start back on the 8th Feb, but my boss has been and is being very supportive in giving me the time to heal and return well. X

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[sarahc]

I think a post-transition retreat is an excellent idea for many trans people entering the “post-transition” phase of their lives. Your life is consumed by transition steps for a number of years, so it is important to set a new goal for what you want your life to be like and what goals you want to set for yourself. I have thought about going to a remote Airbnb one long weekend over the summer to do just that.  What I don’t have is a good understanding of how to structure such a weekend. I need to do more research on that.

Sarah

[Megan.]

I think a post-transition retreat is an excellent idea for many trans people entering the “post-transition” phase of their lives. Your life is consumed by transition steps for a number of years, so it is important to set a new goal for what you want your life to be like and what goals you want to set for yourself. I have thought about going to a remote Airbnb one long weekend over the summer to do just that.  What I don’t have is a good understanding of how to structure such a weekend. I need to do more research on that.

Sarah

If you can find a guided retreat, I can recommend them :-)

Daily Summary (31-Jan-2021):

1D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5
2D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5
3D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5

Just one dot (1/2") from full-depth with the larger dilator, hopefully I'll get there tomorrow.

All is good, and dilation just gets easier and more comfortable. I'm able to use less lube - making less mess - and still have an easy and comfortable session.

Sitting is now totally fine aside on hard surfaces, so life really is getting back to normal. X

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[Megan.]

Daily Summary (01-Feb-2021):

1D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5
2D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-PD-D5
3D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-FD-D5

Full-depth!

I hit bottom (end?) with the larger SS1/Purple dilator in my third session this evening. Being consistent with dilation when everything is effectively healed and comfortable can give good progress in improving width.

I'll plan to solidify getting the larger dilator to full-depth for 20-mins in every session for a week before I attempt to size up again to what will be the SS2/Blue dilator. X

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[Megan.]

Daily Summary (02-Feb-2021):

1D:SS0-FD-D20:SS1-FD-D5
2D:SS0-FD-D10:SS1-FD-D10
3D:SS0-FD-D05:SS1-FD-D20

Swap-over day, phasing the majority of each session from the smaller to the larger dilator, while still getting to full-depth with both small and large in all sessions.

Got a call tomorrow with my corporate occupation health team to discuss my return to work next week. As I currently have to remote work anyway, I don't forsee any big issue right now aside needing some extra time in the day for my middle dilation - for a couple more weeks. X

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[Rachel Montgomery]

I have to admit this has been longer and harder than I would have hoped, but you seem to have turned a corner and things seem to be going well.  I am happy for you, and wish you a quick and painless recovery from here on out.  I could get used to working remotely. 

[Megan.]

I have to admit this has been longer and harder than I would have hoped, but you seem to have turned a corner and things seem to be going well.  I am happy for you, and wish you a quick and painless recovery from here on out.  I could get used to working remotely. 

The one bonus of remote work due to Covid is  that I will be able to more easily manage dilation. I had our corporate policy updated almost 2-years ago to include provision of a quite space to do it in the office if needed.

The recovery has not been as planned, but certainly feels positive now. Thnx

Daily Summary (03-Feb-2021):

1D:SS0-FD-D10:SS1-FD-D10
2D:SS0-FD-D10:SS1-FD-D10
3D:SS0-FD-D05:SS1-FD-D20

Just an incremental increase in time with the larger dilator today, and I plan similar tomorrow.

I'm still experimenting with leg/knee/hip angle/position during my sessions. It has quite an impact when things are tighter.

I'm working on a visual of my dilation to-date, I'll try to get it posted tomorrow. X

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[sarahc]

Woo-hoo! The wind is at your back now. All that hard work paying off! Super proud of you!

Sarah