Community Conversation > Transgender talk

What is your Gender Dysphoria Trigger

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JaezelMarie:
I would say that I am most triggered when I go to the bathroom, as of right now even though i legally changed my name and gender to non binary and typically wear womens clothing and a purse i always go to mens room. I have my familys scream in my head "your not a woman!" If possible i use a family restroom but if not possible I use mens. I am embarresd to go in and do my thing dressed as I am but I most certainly can not pass as a woman because I am not on hormones and I am hairy and have a big belly and my voice thankfully soon I am getting facial feminization surgery but still I think im doomed to always use mens room. PS I live in a rural part of california that is very conservative

Ellie_Jean:

--- Quote from: Iztaccihuatl on November 24, 2021, 09:47:42 am ---I don't think it is that easy. The policy itself isn't stupid, because it is intended to show support for trans and non-binary employees, so I perceive it as positive on the bigger scheme of things. Lobbying for its removal is therefore counter-productive. Plus, it's voluntary anyway, so nobody is forced to lie or state their pronouns if they don't want to.

The problem here is me and the fact that I am still a closeted trans woman whom everybody knows as male. Yes, I would love adding a she/her/herself to my signature line (alongside with my female name of course), but that would out me immediately, but I do envy everybody who states their pronouns and this is what triggers me.

--- End quote ---


Ahhh; I see. 😢

ashley7:
Sexy e-girls.

ImAllie:

--- Quote from: Iztaccihuatl on November 24, 2021, 09:47:42 am ---I don't think it is that easy. The policy itself isn't stupid, because it is intended to show support for trans and non-binary employees, so I perceive it as positive on the bigger scheme of things. Lobbying for its removal is therefore counter-productive. Plus, it's voluntary anyway, so nobody is forced to lie or state their pronouns if they don't want to.

The problem here is me and the fact that I am still a closeted trans woman whom everybody knows as male. Yes, I would love adding a she/her/herself to my signature line (alongside with my female name of course), but that would out me immediately, but I do envy everybody who states their pronouns and this is what triggers me.

--- End quote ---

I’m so sorry that policy causes you distress! As you said, it certainly does seem well-intentioned.  I think the one good thing about it could be, should you ever decide to transition in the future? The policy provides a very quick and direct way to spread the word behind the close circle of friends and co-workers you wish to tell directly.  So perhaps it would, in that way, be a tool for making things in the workplace at least a little easier from the stand point of transitioning?
Just a thought.  Can’t imagine that provides much comfort for the distress it’s causing you now… but when I thought of that I thought I’d share it on the off chance that it might. 

Iztaccihuatl:

--- Quote from: ImAllie on November 28, 2021, 12:29:54 am ---I’m so sorry that policy causes you distress! As you said, it certainly does seem well-intentioned.  I think the one good thing about it could be, should you ever decide to transition in the future? The policy provides a very quick and direct way to spread the word behind the close circle of friends and co-workers you wish to tell directly.  So perhaps it would, in that way, be a tool for making things in the workplace at least a little easier from the stand point of transitioning?
Just a thought.  Can’t imagine that provides much comfort for the distress it’s causing you now… but when I thought of that I thought I’d share it on the off chance that it might.

--- End quote ---

Thanks, Allie for your comments. I tend to see this whole thing in a very similar way, which is that while this encouragement to state pronouns might hurt me a bit at the moment, I will also benefit hugely from it once I feel ready to come out. However, before that happens, I have to resolve the Situation at home with my wife, who is, well, less than thrilled about this whole woman business of mine, but this is a topic for another day.

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