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Therapist's homework

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Avisheh:
So during the last session my therapist gave another bit of homework in preparation for the one next time. With a child on the way in four months time, she asked me to think about and discuss with other people what kind of gender role I'd like to have after the birth.
The question seems innocent enough but I'm wondering if I'm missing something I'm supposed to reflect upon somewhere? I don't think there are any clear gender role divisions amongst me and my girlfriend. And I don't feel like I'm playing a different role than the one I want to have.
So does anybody have any advice? Or insight in the enigma thrown at my feet by the therapist?

Maid Marion:
Maybe it would help to map out what roles everyone will play.  Who does what?  What will you do?
For example, babies need 24 hour care.  Who will wake up in the wee hours of the morning to take care of the baby?

In other words, forget about gender for now.  Figure out who does what first.

If you are a visual thinker a 2 dimensional map may help.  Hand drawn or produced on a computer.

Marion

Pammie:

--- Quote from: Avisheh on December 19, 2020, 11:01:34 am ---So during the last session my therapist gave another bit of homework in preparation for the one next time. With a child on the way in four months time, she asked me to think about and discuss with other people what kind of gender role I'd like to have after the birth.
The question seems innocent enough but I'm wondering if I'm missing something I'm supposed to reflect upon somewhere? I don't think there are any clear gender role divisions amongst me and my girlfriend. And I don't feel like I'm playing a different role than the one I want to have.
So does anybody have any advice? Or insight in the enigma thrown at my feet by the therapist?

--- End quote ---
Well given ur trans it seems logical so to ask how you see your gender role as a parent? As for the answer, well, just the honest truth how you envisage your role.


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Avisheh:
Yeah, I was just a bit confused because the answer seemed to be so clear to me. I want to be a good parent. And that includes all the things that are involved with taking care of the baby and the house and everything. A clean division. It's both of our child, right? As an example, we organize the cooking according to my work schedule as well. When I work late (which is roughly half the time but sometimes more and sometimes less) , I prepare dinner in advance. Otherwise my girlfriend does. And in the weekend we usually cook together. That division feels so natural that I did not think there was any thinking needed about it :-)

Pammie:

--- Quote from: Avisheh on December 19, 2020, 12:23:07 pm ---Yeah, I was just a bit confused because the answer seemed to be so clear to me. I want to be a good parent. And that includes all the things that are involved with taking care of the baby and the house and everything. A clean division. It's both of our child, right? As an example, we organize the cooking according to my work schedule as well. When I work late (which is roughly half the time but sometimes more and sometimes less) , I prepare dinner in advance. Otherwise my girlfriend does. And in the weekend we usually cook together. That division feels so natural that I did not think there was any thinking needed about it :-)

--- End quote ---
Expand your thinking a little. What’s on the birth certificate? Who goes to mother and child sessions?  I guess you would do “dad’s events’? What will you be called by your child?  Im thinking that’s the kind of thing?


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