Author Topic: The Blog Spot of Alice  (Read 3369 times)

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Offline Alice

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #40 on: March 22, 2021, 03:06:14 pm »
Thanks Chrissy and Danielle,

It is exciting to have the process under way.

Alice

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Offline Alice

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #41 on: March 26, 2021, 05:22:14 am »
I have asked for a date next January and should receive a confirmed date next week.

There is a whole lot I should post about once I get time this weekend.

Alice

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #42 on: March 28, 2021, 12:14:52 am »
@Alice
Dear Alice:
Keep your updates coming!!!!   I am very excited for you.
HUGS,
Danielle


I have asked for a date next January and should receive a confirmed date next week.

There is a whole lot I should post about once I get time this weekend.

Alice
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline Alice

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #43 on: March 28, 2021, 04:40:48 am »
It has been a busy week and so much has happened. Underline all of this has been my rising emotions and what has been coming out are my clear statements that I am ready for surgery. I have written so much in my diary that I could not rewrite it here in my blog.

On Monday I went to meet my Psychiatrist in a view to getting her sign off for my surgery. After a 30-minute conversation, she said she was happy and had no concerns regarding the surgery. I was rather glad of that as I had created a plan with one of the questions being how I manage to see 3 people while working full time, now I only have 2 people to manage so see. There is a possibility that I will only need one session for the second letter. I have a 2-hour session with the psychologist that I am hoping that I will not need too many more sessions to attain my second letter.

The main thing that has been happening these past 2 weeks are my emotions are coming it and they always show I am ready. There have been at least 4 conversations that have crystallised my thoughts.

•   Running into a friend one Friday afternoon I was trying to explain to him I am planning surgery. Instead of relaxing, I shuttered as I said “I want it. I want it. I want it.” I then had to relax breath and explain to him “The fact is I want surgery and planning for it to happen next year.
•   Talking to a person at the coffee shop when I was again becoming emotional and needed a break. As I was not in a good state of mind, I blurted out to her I am planning surgery and when she said it is a big decision, I told her “That decision has already been made.
•   (As I have previously posted) When talking to friends they told me you will know when you a ready and I instantly replied: “I am ready now”.
•   When talking to my counsellor about timing I said to her (over the phone) “I do not want to miss my window opportunity in January”. 

I see my window of opportunity being next January as I am hoping that my contract is extended to the end of this year. I know there is a lot of work coming for our team in the next few months so if I can keep working hard the contract extension is a big possibility. If it is for 6 months it would nicely fit into have surgery in January, recovering and then looking for further work.

 I had a long conversation with my counsellor on Thursday (remember she cannot sign off on my surgery) about why all this emotion is coming out now. I told her “I did not expect to be this emotional about the surgery”. We think one of the reasons why I am so emotional is the type of work I am performing. In all honesty, what I am currently doing is not my strength.  Being a data analyst, I would prefer looking at data and code to create reports from that data.  Instead for the last 5 to 6 weeks, I have been trying to write a large word document which is something I have not performed all that often in my professional career. I told my counsellor that whatever my state of mind I would be struggling at work. This is undoubtedly creating tension and allowing my emotions which I thought would be under control to come out uncontrollably. I talked to my boos on Friday, and she understands that I need some variety and will give me something else tomorrow (Monday).

The other thing I discussed with my counsellor is a lack of any decision.  With any large decisions, I always discuss with her my options but in this case, I just knew I wanted the surgery. I did not need to discuss with her the benefit versus the risk, I just knew. I always knew which in a way is a good thing. I can relate that back to my early teens when I first wanted to be a girl.

In the lead up to Friday when I wanted to set the date, I was determined to see the date set. I was never going to set a date before my counselling session on Thursday night. All of Thursday all I could think was “I will date a date by this time tomorrow”.  I waited till just after 9am Friday morning before making the call. The receptionist said she could not set I firm date till the surgeon returned to the office next week. I discussed with her I still want a date in January 2022 and now I am waiting for her to inform me of the date (or dates) that I can have the surgery. I was disappointed that I did not have a date but that was outside my control.

On Friday afternoon I received my letter from my Psychiatrist, and it confirms my suspicion. Her letter said in part “I can see as Alice she is looking happier and more relaxed”.  My Psychiatrist has known me since my first dreadful transition and she only needed 30 minutes to sum up what everyone knows. 

Offline Emma1017

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #44 on: March 28, 2021, 10:19:51 am »
Alice congratulations!  That is great news!  It takes so much to get where you are and it is such an emotional journey.

I wish you all the joy and happiness you deserve!


Warmest regards,

Emma

PS
I love your new avatar photo
  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Alice

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #45 on: March 29, 2021, 03:05:02 am »
Alice congratulations!  That is great news!  It takes so much to get where you are and it is such an emotional journey.

I wish you all the joy and happiness you deserve!


Warmest regards,

Emma

PS
I love your new avatar photo


Emma,

That is my favorite all-time picture of myself. I should of put it up earlier.

Alice

Offline Alice

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #46 on: March 29, 2021, 06:21:40 am »
Just a side note to my blog above.

One of the things I keep saying to my parents I never want to be afraid of what I want anymore. I have known for a long time I wanted the surgery, and that thinking is now clearly stated in many conversations.  I told myself a long time ago I am not fighting myself over this desire for the surgery hence I am planning to ensure it is successful.

Alice

Offline Alice

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #47 on: March 31, 2021, 03:19:04 am »
I now have a date for surgery: 12th January 2022  ;D :icon_dance:.

Signature Block has been updated.

Alice

Offline RandiL

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #48 on: March 31, 2021, 11:45:59 pm »
I now have a date for surgery: 12th January 2022  ;D :icon_dance:.

Signature Block has been updated.

Alice
Whooo hoo Alice, that's great news!

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Forging my new, best life as Randi

My personal blog thread: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

My HRT thread: Randi's HRT Journal


Offline Alice

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #49 on: April 19, 2021, 04:05:53 am »
So I have some good news.

I saw the second Psychologist today and she is happy to support me for surgery. She will write her letter next weekend and send it to me next weekend. Once I am happy she will finalising it and sending it to the surgeon.

I have reflected on our conversation and she was just concerned to ensure that I am not making a bad decision under pressure. This is clearly not the case for me as I have been rather steady since being on HRT in September 2017.

We also had an interesting conversation about the autism spectrum. She said she would not be surprised if I have a few autism traits. She has sent me a few links to look at on the subject. My mum and I would agree I show some of these traits.

Only 268 days to go, I guess you can say I am counting down.

Alice


Alice

 

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #50 on: April 19, 2021, 02:04:22 pm »
@Alice
Dear Alice:
I much enjoyed reading your "good-news" update here on your blog/thread.

It is terrific that your Psychologist will be writing her "letter" soon and hopefully it will meet your surgeon's approval so you can commence your surgery as you have planned next January in 2022.  :)

Interesting regarding the autism concerns... I trust that all turns out well for you in that regard.

Please keep me and the rest of your followers updated regarding your future surgery and other matters regarding your health and happiness.... but only as you feel comfortable sharing.

We are all rooting for you and wishing you success in your journey.
HUGS and more HUGS, 
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline Alice

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #51 on: April 20, 2021, 06:22:14 am »
@Alice
Dear Alice:


Interesting regarding the autism concerns... I trust that all turns out well for you in that regard.

HUGS and more HUGS, 
Danielle


Danielle,

I am not concerned about autism but I always find it interesting when the subject is brought up given what I have observed with my neighbor's children and hanging out in chat.

The Psychologist talked about the large spectrum for autistic (now referred to as neurodivergent) people and it is something she always asks people seeking reassignment. We talked about these people being great in one area (eg Maths) and having a larger than normal weakness in another area (eg English). It is certainly true for me that I am great with numbers and not so good when having to write something down, which is why I was so frustrated earlier this month when I had to write a large report.

I will talk it over with my regular counsellor to see we should do anything about it or just let it be.

Alice
 


Offline Alice

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #52 on: April 29, 2021, 05:42:31 am »
So I have had a great week.

My contract extension till December has been finalised. I also now have my second letter for surgery.

All is looking good for next January.

Alice

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Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #53 on: April 29, 2021, 01:51:21 pm »
@Alice
Dear Alice:
This is wonderful news that you reported... 
As you feel comfortable doing, as you have been doing please keep me and the rest of your followers updated so that we can follow along in your journey.

HUGS,
Danielle


So I have had a great week.

My contract extension till December has been finalised. I also now have my second letter for surgery.

All is looking good for next January.

Alice

Sent from my SM-T590 using Tapatalk
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline Alice

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #54 on: May 18, 2021, 04:32:08 am »
Hi all,

I wrote the following yesterday on my Facebook account to mark IDAHOBIT day.

---------------------------------------

IDAHOBIT Day
With the IDAHOBIT day today, I wanted to write a short message. Firstly, I am grateful for the Large Government Department that now employees me. They have a large function tomorrow with a guest speaker Hana coming in. I had been looking forward to the day for a few weeks once I knew the function was occurring. It was a great speech and Q&A session where many important topics were discussed.

I want to thank everyone who has help and supported me through my journey. It has been difficult at times and I so grateful for everyone’s support. I want to remind everyone that depression and anxiety are part of the journey. It is still my leading cause for me having to miss work. I know when this occurs, I need a few days to reset.

The most important thing to remember is the happiness and joy we can eventually feel after so many dark years. My struggle lasted longer than most people due to my poor sleeping, but I am now finding joy and peace of mind that I have never known.  It has shown after in a recent dinner my friend who has known me when I moved to Canberra said “I have never seen you that happy and content for years. Maybe ever.”

Alice
« Last Edit: May 18, 2021, 06:12:50 am by Alice »

Offline Alice

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #55 on: May 24, 2021, 06:51:16 am »
I am not sure if it is just today, but I really noticed the lack of noise in my head today.

I told my friends at the flying field two weeks ago that I would need to take some time on a weekend. I had on my mind that I did not know how I was going to dress casually on the weekends. This had been bugging me because I am really hating being called “Sir” and it is something I need to be able to do post-surgery.  It was nice to be able to catch with a friend, talk about our lives and shop for clothes.

I know I got out of the shopping trip what I needed. We found some nice casual clothes which I can wear with jeans. I can also dress up some of the clothes I brought if needed. We also found a comfortable pair of shoes that I could use as a part of the outfit.

The other thing that is helping my moods is I have brought a little wiglet for the top of my head. My hair growth is going very well and at this moment very little gap on top. I am hoping by the end of this year there will be no gap with just the front to continue to fill out. I had my wiglet on all day today and it is definitely more comfortable than I full wig.

I had a busy day with a workshop today and tomorrow. I just did have any noise in my head at all, I was just so relaxed and focused today. I do not know if I could really explain that noise and how it has affected me over so many years. I am just hoping that trend continues as it is refreshing when it occurs.

Alice

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #56 on: May 24, 2021, 01:05:15 pm »
@Alice
Dear Alice:
I am happy to read your good report this morning...  I am glad that you are doing better.
What you described works for me too...  "Shopping Therapy" !!!   :) ;) ::)

It is nice to get some new clothes that help to fit your mood and to assist in your desires to present
more reliably as "Alice"    Your wiglet solution seems to be a better option for you than a full wig... and
even though I have not had a "hair" issue to deal with, I would imagine that a full wig would be quite
uncomfortable... and especially with warmer weather just around the corner, it would certainly be very
uncomfortable for sure.

I am rooting for your happiness and success.... and no more noises!!!!

Thank you for sharing and updating your blog thread....
HUGS and more HUGS, 
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline Alice

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #57 on: May 25, 2021, 04:24:42 am »
@Danielle

Danielle,

I always appreciate your thoughts and replies.

Remember that I am going into winter down here and I am considering using my wigs in winter and the wiglet over summer from December.

Thank you for all of your support.

Alice

Offline Emma1017

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #58 on: May 25, 2021, 06:15:28 am »

Alice I was so happy to read about your progress.  I specifically loved this quote:

      "The most important thing to remember is the happiness and joy we can eventually feel after so many dark years."

We walk such a tough road to find our joy and happiness.

Hugs,

Emma
  The heart has reasons that reason can not understand.

             My Transgender Manifesto

Offline Alice

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Re: The Blog Spot of Alice
« Reply #59 on: June 08, 2021, 06:08:21 am »
A Cleaning tale

So it has been another big week in the life of Alice but a big concern for surgery next year has been solved.
I knew I was concerned about the cleanliness of my house for a long time and I had been looking for a house cleaning for a while. I friend of mine who is a house cleaner did not have time and when I mentioned it a work one of my friends mentioned a company who she uses to clean her house. After the recommendation, it did not take me long to book a full house clean. After all, it has been around  18 years in my current home and about the right time to get my carpets fully cleaning after 6 years.

The cleaning happened today so I am so please with the results. I am also surprised about how much emotion has come out wanting it done. I keep telling my friends I do not want to be in the hospital after surgery worried about the cleanliness of my house where I need to recover.  I also did not want my parent to worry about cleaning when I was in the hospital recovering. I am planning to have monthly cleans of my house to ensure that situation does not arise.

Work has been very busy and the next few months are looking just as busy. My first Covid 19 is in late June. I am hoping I can take July and August to relax and enjoy some quiet time before working on my plans in and around surgery.

Alice


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