Community Conversation > Therapy

Having to start therapy but kind of dreading it?

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CosmicJoke:
Hi everyone. To start, I have already spoken to a therapist back in 2005. She discharged me in 2012. I have also spoken to a psychiatrist back in 2006 but we ended in 2013? My therapist did alot to facilitate my transition into a woman, but the process had many ups and downs. My psychiatrist was just pig-ignorant and completely unhelpful besides the medication he prescribed me.
I am currently waiting on a new therapist. My mother spoke to this therapist's secretary around this time last year and was warned there is a waiting list. We still haven't heard back from her but she does specialize in gender therapy. We also presume that the long waiting list must mean she is a good one.
In spite of all this I am kind of dreading it. The first time in therapy my mother and I had alot of fights. We fought over pretty much everything.
My mother and I now have peace in our relationship. I think the reason for that is because I am living full-time as a woman now. I was considering GCS, but I struggle badly with anxiety and suicidal thoughts every now and then. Therapy seems to be the wiser choice, but I am kind of dreading it. I think I am going to hate it. I know I shouldn't jump to conclusions but if anyone has any advice for me it would be greatly appreciated.

Rachel:
Hi,

I started transition in 2013 and had GCS in 2016 and I was also divorced in 2016. There was a huge amount of change in my life. I still speak to my therapist every 2 weeks over the phone.

I find talk therapy extremely important. Currently I am reevaluation my fear of relationships and plans on how to find friendship with a male that like doing the things I like to do.

I understand talk therapy can be intimidating, bringing up sensitive subjects and unpacking them. In time you may think of your therapist as a non judgemental mirror. I have brought up some topics and she was not in the least bit phased. She has had clients do anything and everything I have done and more.

The point in the therapy for me is to review things that hinder my progress and have a sounding board to things I want to do but need help doing.

I have done things I imagined. They are a reality now and have no power over me. I was able to look at them and see if I want to continue doing them or do something else. I have learned to do what I imagine I want to do. Pretty powerful technique.

I hope therapy works out well for you,
Rachel

Battle Goddess:
Hey, CJ.

I've been in your situation and can appreciate your feelings.


I guess my experience has been that I don't go in expecting that we'll necessarily click, and that's ok. You're kind of interviewing them for the job during the first meetings. Not every therapist will be right for you, and the therapist might be a great match for you someday but not right now.

So I play it easy the first couple of sessions, open myself up, see how it feels with this particular person. If it doesn't feel like a good fit, it's appropriate to thank them and move on. Last thing you want is to invest time and emotional resources in a poor therapeutic partnership.

It's also my experience that most tdocs are pretty fair fits. Nobody's perfect, and we can all be turned off by anyone if we try hard enough. My tdocs have all worked hard to become better fits for me as we've been together.

Good luck.

Nadine Spirit:
I love working with my trans specializing therapist.  Right now she is SO busy she is not taking any new clients and has a super long waiting list.  What I can say is, my therapist at least, is well worth the wait. 

Rakel:
Good morning CJ,

Yes, professional therapy is definitely worthwhile, if the therapist is trained in gender related issues. Look for WPATH training on their credentials.

Many years ago, therapists were rarely, if ever trained in gender issues. Thankfully, today we have a much better understanding of our condition. WPATH training has been very helpful for therapists to understand that we are not all alike. There are many variations in how we express our needs.

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