Community Conversation > Non-binary talk

Non-binary / gender fluid as a compromise?

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CaelaNotKayla:
I would highly recommend talking to your therapist about this sense of compromise. Initially identifying as a Bigender individual, I also considered non-binary/Gender-fluid as  a compromise. Through therapy I came to the realization that I actually am non-binary/Gender-fluid for gender identity with a Female-dominant expression of that gender- so for me this shift was very affirming. 

Hugs!!

Caela

sarahc:
How you identify is very different from how you choose you live. I would remain clear-eyed about knowing your gender identity - don’t try to fool yourself because that’s just going to be mentally damaging. Don’t try to become gender fluid or non-binary if that isn’t you. It’s not going to work.

With that said, you can make practical sacrifices for the sake of things you care about, like your marriage. But that shouldn’t affect what you know deep down about yourself. One of things that kept me sane for decades prior to transition was that I accepted I was trans, but I was making what I determined was a rational decision to not pursue transition because of career and social considerations. And I was functional having made that choice. You might arrive at a similar conclusion, maybe accepting the need to embrace your true self in private sometimes.

This is definitely something to work through with your therapist.

Sarah

Wendywishes:
Thank you everyone for the responses and great advice.  I'll talk with my therapist about it as well.  As for the hormonal changes, that is going to be a delicate balancing act.  I guess I won't know for sure if I can find self-acceptance with being gender fluid until I start down that path, and that first step is always the most difficult...

DKTGSupport:
Watch this channel and see if you recognize anything:
https://www.youtube.com/c/BrinConvenient

Amy Chislett:
I'd emphasize the value you place on this other.  That ain't chop liver.  You say she says she loves you.  I basically muddle through life without an other.  So, I am free, right?  Not exactly.  It's my family that holds me back.  Ask yourself what's your function (conjunction junction).  Well functions change over time.  So,what's your identity (more unchanging).   Sounds like you need more time before throwing something so important away.  Short trips away from her could give you an outlet of expression.

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