Author Topic: When do feelings change?  (Read 1012 times)

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Offline Heather N

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When do feelings change?
« on: January 15, 2021, 08:52:07 am »
I am dressing more and more. I work from home and so its not unusual for me to either wear a dress or skirt and top. I dress professionally. I wear nightgowns to bed and when I go out I usually wear leggings and a unisex top. I still dont present as female and doubt I ever will. I know that i need to be able to change at a moments notice in case I have some visitors to my home office.

When I get dressed in the morning or even at night when Im getting ready for bed. I still have a feeling that i am doing something a bit taboo? Hard to describe..  I am wondering how long it takes to get to a point where "these are my clothes and this is what I wear" as naturally as it did my male clothes. I know i have over 50 years wearing men's clothes and less than a year wearing clothes intended for cis gender females.

How long did it take you to get past this feeling? did you ever get past this feeling? Is it a feeling you never had?

so many questions and feelings but my SO is generally supportive of this so that's a huge help.

Im guessing I have 20 dresses, 10 skirts, several tops, and for the most part I wear everything I have on a  pretty regular basis. My old clothes have been archived or tossed for the most part although I do have a few for when I need them.

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Offline Devlyn

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Re: When do feelings change?
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2021, 09:26:44 am »
It took me a  couple of years and  going full-time before I started becoming less conscious of  wearing the "wrong" clothes. Nothing wrong with them, of course...the stumbling block was 100% in my head.  :)

You'll get used to dressing as you like.  :)

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Offline Jessica_Rose

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Re: When do feelings change?
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2021, 10:23:46 am »
They are not men's clothes or women's clothes, they are your clothes. Wear what you like and be happy!

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Offline RandiL

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Re: When do feelings change?
« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2021, 11:28:17 am »
I'd say it took me a year or so to get to where they're just my default clothes.

Pants and tights I changed early on. Tops took a little longer.

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Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: When do feelings change?
« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2021, 11:50:27 am »
For me the question went hand in hand with my comfort level in myself.  Once I was comfortable with me- the taboo feeling didn't last very long- and was replaced more with a sense of practicalities. (ie, wearing guy jeans not because it's taboo to wear the leggings, but because leggings don't really work when gardening).    I even stopped keeping the "Zoom Shirt" handy...  I'm me regardless, so they're just clothes.  I wear what I feel like wearing for the activity I plan on doing.

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Offline Maid Marion

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Re: When do feelings change?
« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2021, 12:08:23 pm »
For me it was more like this is how clothes are supposed to fit. ;D
I have a small hourglass figure with my waist above my belly button, so men's and boy's clothes never fit right.

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Re: When do feelings change?
« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2021, 02:13:32 pm »
I am dressing more and more. I work from home and so its not unusual for me to either wear a dress or skirt and top. I dress professionally. I wear nightgowns to bed and when I go out I usually wear leggings and a unisex top. I still dont present as female and doubt I ever will. I know that i need to be able to change at a moments notice in case I have some visitors to my home office.

When I get dressed in the morning or even at night when Im getting ready for bed. I still have a feeling that i am doing something a bit taboo? Hard to describe..  I am wondering how long it takes to get to a point where "these are my clothes and this is what I wear" as naturally as it did my male clothes. I know i have over 50 years wearing men's clothes and less than a year wearing clothes intended for cis gender females.

How long did it take you to get past this feeling? did you ever get past this feeling? Is it a feeling you never had?

so many questions and feelings but my SO is generally supportive of this so that's a huge help.

Im guessing I have 20 dresses, 10 skirts, several tops, and for the most part I wear everything I have on a  pretty regular basis. My old clothes have been archived or tossed for the most part although I do have a few for when I need them.
I have to say that I never had that feeling. From the first time I wore female clothes it just felt right. In fact my old male clothes felt wrong from that moment on. But Susan’s has taught me that we are all on different journeys and there is no single “right” answer.


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Offline Megan.

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Re: When do feelings change?
« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2021, 05:02:52 pm »
Due to life circumstances, I was living two lives for a couple of years. Over that time it slowly became harder to put on the 'boy' clothes in the morning for my job, and there was more relief when I could take them off and be me again in the evenings and weekends.

By the time I went full-time, putting on 'girl' clothes to go into my office wasn't a big leap at all.

I'm not a big wearer of skirts and dresses, so these still feel a little unusual to me. X

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Offline SarahEL

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Re: When do feelings change?
« Reply #8 on: January 16, 2021, 06:26:27 am »
I must admit, like a few here, my very first experience of putting on female clothing was one of relief and not taboo..
Living full time now, it is just normal as normal could be.. but then that may be the transsexual experience.
I noticed this post is in the cross-dresser thread.. and I can imagine that having some sort of feeling of excitement is part of being a cross dresser?

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Offline Heather N

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Re: When do feelings change?
« Reply #9 on: January 16, 2021, 07:10:36 am »
there is a big relief that does come when I wear dresses, skirts etc. It is just when I do get dressed (which has become more often than not now) I "think" about it. I never thought about wearing my old clothes.

One interesting side note, I kept referring to my new underwear as panties. My SO corrected me and told me to just refer to them as 'underwear' as we both understand what I wear now.
I guess she's right. I never said "I need to do laundry because I am almost out of briefs"  :icon_razz:

It is a different mindset that I am still wrapping my head around
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Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: When do feelings change?
« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2021, 03:31:55 pm »
I am dressing more and more. I work from home and so its not unusual for me to either wear a dress or skirt and top. I dress professionally. I wear nightgowns to bed and when I go out I usually wear leggings and a unisex top. I still dont present as female and doubt I ever will. I know that i need to be able to change at a moments notice in case I have some visitors to my home office.

When I get dressed in the morning or even at night when Im getting ready for bed. I still have a feeling that i am doing something a bit taboo? Hard to describe..  I am wondering how long it takes to get to a point where "these are my clothes and this is what I wear" as naturally as it did my male clothes. I know i have over 50 years wearing men's clothes and less than a year wearing clothes intended for cis gender females.

How long did it take you to get past this feeling? did you ever get past this feeling? Is it a feeling you never had?

so many questions and feelings but my SO is generally supportive of this so that's a huge help.

Im guessing I have 20 dresses, 10 skirts, several tops, and for the most part I wear everything I have on a  pretty regular basis. My old clothes have been archived or tossed for the most part although I do have a few for when I need them.

I do not think there is any specific timing involved.  It is natural for a transsexual to wear the clothing of your true gender, as it feels right.  For a crossdresser, I suppose there may be a different set of feelings and experiences and frame of mind to progress through but then again, the timetable is very personal.

I love being in my natural feeling female clothes, as I did today when I went to the food market and shopped.
I have been out far less for any reason this past year because of COVID being around.

So I guess I have a non-answer as this is a personal thing so it varies from person to person.

Being in public is challenging and scary for awhile but I cannot think of how to get over that other than doing that over and over again, for however long it takes to get a comfort level that you are pleased with.  I have not yet reached a total comfort level but that is okay.  Being with a friend helps.   I am happy with my progress.

Hugs,

Chrissy

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Offline Nadine Spirit

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Re: When do feelings change?
« Reply #11 on: January 18, 2021, 09:17:55 am »
I considered myself to be "just" a cross dresser for about 10-15 years before I transitioned.  Prior to that I thought I had a sexual fetish for about the same amount of time.  Which means that I had been wearing women's clothing off and on for about 30 years prior to transitioning. 

When did it stop feeling "taboo?"  About a year or so after I went full time, lol. 

Offline Heather N

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Re: When do feelings change?
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2021, 08:38:53 am »
I wear leggings and unisex tops when I'm not wearing a dress or a skirt. Those have become my "old clothes" now. I really don't have a "taboo" feeling with those anymore. Funny how things change.
It's early spring cleaning in my household and the last few days I went through closets  and donated likely 80% of my old male clothes. My walk in closet looks like 1 closet with enough clothes for 2 women in it, I have maybe 3 or 4 pairs of my old slacks and that's about it.
I even donated a few of my "new" clothes just because they didn't fit right or I bought them from a picture and when I got them they looked horrible. Not every dress looks good.. just sayin,   :icon_lol:
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