Topic: Gender dysphoria

[LVnerdygirl]

My spouse and I are dealing with their terrible dysphoria. I know there is nothing I can say or do but be there. There has to be something to help. It can't be good luck. We are in between name change and starting hormones. It is horrible and all I can do is watch. Trying to reassure seems to just cause anger and frustration. I hate feeling helpless. I hate how sudden it comes on. I just hate that she can't see how beautiful she is. She does so much damaging stuff due to it and I am just along for the ride. Any help?
Thanks

[Devlyn]

Big hug!

Starting HRT reduces dysphoria for a lot of people, you both have that to look forward to. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Maid Marion]

While I don't have dysphoria, I do have anxiety issues like many intelligent people.

I have discovered that there are activities I can do to break the anxiety loops that go running through my brain.
I can now wake up in the wee hours of the morning, do one of my activities, and then go back to sleep!
And wake up well rested in the morning!

Perhaps there are activities you can do together that would re-direct your partner's thoughts and reduce the dysphoria?

Marion

[Nadine Spirit]

..... I am just along for the ride. Any help?

Hi -

Sorry you are both struggling with this.  And yes you are both struggling with it.  You are not just along for the ride.  You are going through a transition also.  Things are changing for both of you.  Don't forget to care for yourself while you are trying to care for your spouse. 

In many ways only I could determine how to help myself with my dysphoria.  Generally I have no idea what is going to trigger it.  Often it comes on as a result of viewing something I am envious of, hair, breasts, tiny frame, etc.  Sometimes it happens from feeling a certain way, not pretty enough, like I am having "incorrect" thoughts.  Sometimes it comes on from thinking things will never get better, HRT will not affect me, I will never get my voice right, I will never be able to get GCS. 

My point being, often only I know why my dysphoria flares and what I can do about it.  Learning how to express myself better with my words has helped.  My spouse encouraging me to speak freely to her has helped.  Time and HRT changes have helped.  Therapy has helped.  Me accomplishing some of my goals has helped.  Getting better at makeup, clothing choices, and my voice have all helped. 

Good luck!