Author Topic: Do you feel like you've really changed that much as a person?  (Read 649 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline CosmicJoke

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 259
  • Reputation: +2/-0
  • Gender: Female
Do you feel like you've really changed that much as a person?
« on: January 27, 2021, 11:32:38 am »
Hi everyone. What I am talking about is since transitioning. I live full-time as a woman and most of the time I still feel like I am the same person at heart. I still like alot of the things I liked in boy mode and I honestly feel like I am just being "more of me" rather than changing who I am as a person. I feel like often times others might get the impression that I am not really the same person I always was. Is it just me who feels this way or can anyone else relate on some level?

Offline Pammie

  • *
  • Posts: 3,547
  • Reputation: +27/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Up
Re: Do you feel like you've really changed that much as a person?
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2021, 02:31:07 pm »
Hi everyone. What I am talking about is since transitioning. I live full-time as a woman and most of the time I still feel like I am the same person at heart. I still like alot of the things I liked in boy mode and I honestly feel like I am just being "more of me" rather than changing who I am as a person. I feel like often times others might get the impression that I am not really the same person I always was. Is it just me who feels this way or can anyone else relate on some level?
I think it depends a lot on whether you fall into the majority (I perceive) who “always“ knew they were trans or if (like me) it was deeply suppressed and a massive shock when one realises! In my case I uncovered quite a different persona in quite a few ways (with a consistent inner core of course) so I am a very different person than my shadow self was.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Offline Oldandcreaky

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 867
  • Reputation: +13/-0
Re: Do you feel like you've really changed that much as a person?
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2021, 08:20:51 pm »
Ms. du Beauvoir wrote, "Woman is not born fully formed; she is gradually shaped by her upbringing."

I think there's truth to this. I've been living in the female role for about 35 years and those decades of being approached as female have changed me.

Offline Rakel

  • Formerly known as Dani
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 4,447
  • Reputation: +68/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Rakel@susans.org
Re: Do you feel like you've really changed that much as a person?
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2021, 09:39:59 pm »
Physically, I changed only about 3% of my body, but oh what a difference that 3% makes. Mentally, my self image now matches my physical body as much as possible with todays technology.

All the other stuff about social actions and how we interact with others is the stuff that changes. I am free to express my emotions openly. I have no obligation to man-up, whatever that means. I can be myself without social distain form anyone. For myself, these are the priceless effects of transition. If I knew it was going to be this wonderful, I would have transitioned much earlier, but that is another story. Today's story is about me being where I am right now.





_______________________________________________________________

Retired Pharmacist with over 40 years experience in Hospital and Retail Pharmacies.
I still keep my professional licence active and in good standing.


Offline Tessa James

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,212
  • Reputation: +84/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Enjoying this self liberation
Re: Do you feel like you've really changed that much as a person?
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2021, 02:01:23 pm »
Good question.  Yes I have changed substantially in a number of ways and especially how I experience the world.  I once considered myself a bit of a feminist but now experience life with a different emotional basis and more to learn.  Confidence and self assurance are far better as I no longer try to fit within a binary gender role as some kind of mannish person.  I feel liberated and free to be myself and present as I will.  What a luxury and frankly a part of my privilege within this culture.  With effort I was able to transition with medical assistance and love this priceless sense of bodily congruence.  Most of my basic values remain intact but my sense of community and ability to interact feels quite different.  As a community activist i have found greater challenges and what was once seen as being an assertive leader may now be regarded as either dumb blonde or <not allowed>.  I love this sense of having a greater emotional range and response.  Conversely I can, on occasion, feel emotionally distraught or anxiety about situations where previously anger was the default result.  We all change and hopefully may look forward to a greater sense of self direction in the process.
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013

Offline Carla68

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 238
  • Reputation: +4/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Do you feel like you've really changed that much as a person?
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2021, 04:33:26 pm »
Hi ya

I feel pretty much the same as before I started the hormones I like exactly the same things do the same things hangout the same way, the only difference is i dress different and everything feels right

Carla
Carla








FFS 22-6-21
GRS 22-6-21

Offline Allie Jayne

  • *
  • Posts: 1,852
  • Reputation: +17/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Do you feel like you've really changed that much as a person?
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2021, 06:52:29 pm »
Great topic, and I agree with Pammie quite a bit. Although presenting as male, I made no secret about my feminine inclinations before transition. Since transition, I have realised I have changed very little. I still have the same values and convictions, and I still tend to take the lead in group situations. Recently I took on one of the worlds biggest banks and forced them to change policies, and called out bad management practices in my organisation. One of my colleagues said I was the only one with the ‘balls’ to do these things, despite me being post op!

The strange thing is that some people perceive me differently. They didn’t recognise the person I was pre transition, and are over reacting to the person I am post transition. But these people would never get it right. Unfortunately my wife thinks I have changed too much for her to live with, but not enough to see me as not her husband any more. My life has not changed significantly, same job, same relationship with family, but my social groups have changed to focus on trans people.

People who have known me for a long time can’t accept my change in status, and still use my dead name and relate to me the same.

Hugs,

Allie
« Last Edit: May 24, 2021, 08:25:37 pm by Allie Jayne »

Offline ChrissyRyan

  • Have a gentle manner ❤️
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 32,800
  • Reputation: +38/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • No act of kindness, however small, is wasted.
Re: Do you feel like you've really changed that much as a person?
« Reply #7 on: May 24, 2021, 08:17:29 pm »
Not sure about any significant personality changes, as I have been mostly easy going and have been told that I listen to people very well.  I usually do not write long email or post replies but I do enjoy conversations and being with most people.  Unless they are rude or worse.   :)

I have maintained my principles and character.


Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline pamelatransuk

  • Finally taking action after decades of suppression
  • *
  • Posts: 2,457
  • Reputation: +12/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Do you feel like you've really changed that much as a person?
« Reply #8 on: May 25, 2021, 03:14:25 am »
Hello Everyone

Carla sums it up perfectly for me. My interests, character and personality remain virtually the same.

The main difference for me is that I am genuine instead of acting and free and relaxed and able to express my emotions.

Pammie's point  is most valid as Allie affirms.

Hugs

Pamela xx


Offline davina61

  • *
  • Posts: 6,508
  • Reputation: +13/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • The ramblings of an old dear
Re: Do you feel like you've really changed that much as a person?
« Reply #9 on: May 25, 2021, 03:20:20 am »
Same for me , stilll watch same TV , still do my same hobbies and still feel the same just presenting my true self but have made new friends.
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever.
I get pushed out of shape and its hard to steer when I get rubber in all 4 gears (Beach Boys ,little deuce coupe)

Offline Rachel_Christina

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,777
  • Reputation: +20/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Do you feel like you've really changed that much as a person?
« Reply #10 on: May 25, 2021, 08:44:46 am »
Same for me. Pretty much the exact same. Same hobbies same person to talk to just look a whole lot different!



Offline sarahc

  • Sarah
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,519
  • Reputation: +12/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Do you feel like you've really changed that much as a person?
« Reply #11 on: May 25, 2021, 09:22:32 am »
Another person here who is pretty much the same: casual, approachable, same hobbies / interests (I didn’t have any particularly masculine interests beforehand). The only change that people notice is that they can tell I’m much happier.

Sarah
----
48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Tags: