Author Topic: OCD Cycles of Dysphoria  (Read 444 times)

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Offline MikeP

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OCD Cycles of Dysphoria
« on: February 15, 2021, 09:40:44 am »
Good morning, I got the day off today and have wanted to post and just don't take the time. I am wondering how others deal with OCD thoughts about gender issues.   I go through cycles obsessing about feminization and just how far I need to go.  This has been an issue since I was very young and can be debilitating now.

Things I have done so far are seeing a gender therapist, phycologist, and OCD council. I give myself 100 percent permission to wear lingerie and when not at work I wear kilts.    Thing is I don't feel the need to transition but I am facinated about the idea of being less masculine, mostly dislike body hair and genitalia and typical male fashion.

The OCD Interferes with my life and career and I wish I could find balance in just being me.       

Love to know you deal with your dysphoria? 

Thanks so much.
If you say you can or cant do something you are correct! Henry Ford

Offline RandiL

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Re: OCD Cycles of Dysphoria
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2021, 03:19:53 pm »
I'm sure you already know this, but you sound like some flavor of nonbinary. I have some of that too, being more driven by the need to leave behind my male self than by any need to become female.

That said, I am on HRT, facial electrolysis and voice training. But not currently contemplating surgery. I wear female clothing 100% of the time, although on the bottom it's usually jeans or tights rather than skirts or dresses. I don't have much OCD other than having to balance what the right side of my body does with whatever the left side has just done

I hope you get some more helpful responses.

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Online Maid Marion

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Re: OCD Cycles of Dysphoria
« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2021, 05:01:14 pm »
My wife had OCD.  I don't think balance is possible.  I think it is best if you are able give it the space it requires in your life.  It isn't going away.

I have hyperfocus, which can be confused with OCD, but we could easily see the differences in our behaviors.
I may be easily be distracted by a "new shiny object" but that doesn't happen with OCD.

With years of practice I can drop in and out of hyperfocus rather quickly.  This allows me to get a ton of work done in a short amount of time.

Marion

Offline MikeP

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Re: OCD Cycles of Dysphoria
« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2021, 08:27:24 pm »
Thanks Marion,. I like the word  hyperfocused.  Most of the time  hyper describes me but the OCD creeps back in and can really steel a few days or a week before I can get my mind off my sensual desires.   My counselor suggested I allow time each day to embrace femininity and I do try every evening to put on evening attire as soon as possible well before going to bed.  This is now routine and I sleep well.

Early morning is is bitter sweet as I wake up unsettled with my genitalia that is not used sexually anymore but my wife still likes to caress me and it is okay.  So each morning I start dysphoric in my mind then go to neutral feelings after some caressing.  I am not sure if the genitalia being caressed is helping  or hindering.me.   


So I am tryin to navigate this and understand it is an itch that doesn't go away.  Good  thing is I am able to be open about what's going on with my wife and some family members, and feel bad for thoes who can't be open with their spouses etc. 

I have spent considerable time researching hormones and have been to a.uroligist to discuss surgery male to. Eunuch.   It is an overwhelming thing to deal with.  If I knew the outcomes it would be great to have surgery or start HRT.     

I feel non-binary at best



If you say you can or cant do something you are correct! Henry Ford

Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: OCD Cycles of Dysphoria
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2021, 08:47:46 am »
I don't think balance is possible.  I think it is best if you are able give OCD the space it requires in your life.  It isn't going away.

Marion

I agree absolutely. Both OCD and GD do not go away. We may have to live with the former and take action on the latter.

Hugs

Pamela xx






Offline RandiL

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Re: OCD Cycles of Dysphoria
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2021, 11:39:40 am »


...  If I knew the outcomes it would be great to have surgery or start HRT.     

I feel non-binary at best
HRT takes time to have a visible or permanent impact. But once my T was suppressed I felt much better, and that happened pretty quickly. So if uncertainty is a barrier, you could ease into that and just see how you feel.

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Offline LuckyGal

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Re: OCD Cycles of Dysphoria
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2021, 04:14:26 am »
HRT takes time to have a visible or permanent impact. But once my T was suppressed I felt much better, and that happened pretty quickly. So if uncertainty is a barrier, you could ease into that and just see how you feel.

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This was very true in my case as well, and of course therapy.

Offline Confused1

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Re: OCD Cycles of Dysphoria
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2021, 10:14:09 am »
HRT takes time to have a visible or permanent impact. But once my T was suppressed I felt much better, and that happened pretty quickly. So if uncertainty is a barrier, you could ease into that and just see how you feel.

Sent from my dual-floppy Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

Three in a row. I don't have OCD, but I am hormone free because of ADT for prostate cancer treatment. I did not realize how much I don't like testosterone until it was gone. Not having it almost completely shut down the "noise" in my head. It will forever be banished from my body! Estrogen, now that is a different story. Still a few months away, though.

Hugs,
Mike

Offline Kimdl93

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Re: OCD Cycles of Dysphoria
« Reply #8 on: February 18, 2021, 03:47:54 pm »
I’ve often wondered if there was an overlap between OCD and GD.   In my own case, much of my behavior related to gender expression might reasonably be considered compulsive and during life episodes of stress and depression it seems the compulsiveness was perhaps more pronounced.   

At the same time, part of me objects to seeing my behavior as pathological.  I prefer not to view myself as defective or having a mental disorder, but compulsiveness, even at a subclinical level, certainly could be viewed that way.

After all these years and many (half hearted) attempts to put my cross dressing and gender variance aside, I realize that its not likely to go away and at best all I can hope for is to maintain some degree of balance in my life.

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