Author Topic: Gender is a funny thing  (Read 169 times)

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Offline Deb Roz

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Gender is a funny thing
« on: February 23, 2021, 11:24:01 am »
Hello,

I'm a AMAB person who has been questioning their gender for a number of years now without landing in any particular place.  This is why I'm posting in Non-binary now.  If that doesn't seem like the right place to post, please let me know.

Anyway, I had a moment today, which clarified something I've noticed for most of my adult life.  That is the learned part of gender.  I can't tell the difference between my learned gendered responses to the expectations of others, and my honest feelings. 

I just had a moment when a woman coworker needed my help with something on the computer, and I walked her through it.  She was very gracious, and thanked me profusely.  I ran into her again, and she made it a point to thank me again.  In my mind I had a very distinct feeling:  This is gender.  I know this.  She is performing her gender and now it's my job to gender back at her. 

And I keep thinking:  Do I know this because of practice?  Or is it something else?  I really... I have no idea. 
Mid 30s, assigned male at birth, seriously questioning my gender for the first time.

Offline Rakel

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Re: Gender is a funny thing
« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2021, 08:54:18 pm »
Deb,

How we perceive social interactions is complex and, to be honest, I am not an expert in this area.

I would be more inclined to view your interaction with your coworker as a common curtesy or maintaining a good working environment, either of which can be done by anyone of any gender. Good manners are not gender specific.

There is a clinical definition of gender. The World Health Organization (WHO) defines gender as: “Gender refers to the socially constructed characteristics of women and men, such as norms, roles, and relationships of and between groups of women and men. It varies from society to society and can be changed.”

However you chose to remember your interaction with your coworker is your prerogative. I just want to applaud your sense of cooperation and willingness to help others.  :eusa_clap:





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Offline RandyL

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Re: Gender is a funny thing
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2021, 12:14:53 am »
It's an interesting question, and I pondered it for awhile but without much clarity. I think many of us have wondered "What is a woman" or "What is a man" and few have answers that satisfy me. And of course non binary "genders" or non-genders are yet another conundrum.

Thanks for bringing it up anyway

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