Community Conversation > Real-Life Experience

Starting to get looks - kind of in-between worlds

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Dayle1957:
All,

I have been on HRT for eight months now and am really seeing some results.  I am carrying more weight in my hips and thighs and my booty is nice and round.  I have lost fat around the waste, and I have small firm but pretty visible boobies now.

My current day to day presentation is what I would call Tom-Girl.  My hair is short but in a feminine to neutral cut.  I often wear jeans and tank tops with scarves.  Weather permitting short-shorts, sandals etc.  I always have bracelets and necklaces of some kind.

Because I have not fully / socially transitioned I feel kind of stuck in-between worlds.  I am usually mis-gendered but occasionally I will be called ma'am which is nice!

Today was the first day I felt that I could no longer use the men's locker room at the gym, but I also am scared to use the women's...  though I really feel like I am a woman and should be able to go in there...

Most of the time when out in public I try to find gender-neutral bathrooms to use...

For those of you who have been through this... how did you handle it?

I don't have any surgeries planned, though perhaps one day I will.

Meanwhile I want to stay safe, not make waves and just be who I am at this point in my transition.

I don't want any of this to sound like I am unhappy.  Far from it.  I am overjoyed with the changes I am seeing and feeling!

Hugs

Dayle

Maid Marion:
Hi Dayle,

Congratulations at the progress.

I find that I get a lot of social interaction.  As well as people expecting me to "go first."

It can take a while to get used to that.

Marion

EmilyAlt:
Hi Dayle,

Congrats!  I'm glad to hear HRT is working well for you.  I'm envious....I haven't been able to start my program yet.

When I present as female or feminine androgynous, I always use women's facilities or a gender neutral bathroom.  I go in, do my business, and leave.  If I'm nicely dressed, I sometimes get compliments and will acknowledge them.  I've never encountered an uncomfortable situation in the women's facilities.  These days most women won't make a fuss if they see someone who's trans.  If it happens, just get out quickly.

Regarding your gym, talking to a female staff member might help to ease your apprehension.  Most likely she'll tell you it's totally cool to use the women's locker room.  If you get a negative vibe, you should probably start looking for a new gym.

I strongly believe it's unsafe for transwomen and androgynous males to use the men's facilities.  There are 2 clear dangers....running into a transphobic male....or running into a misogynistic male.  Either can quickly ruin your day!

Hope this helps.

Hugs, Emily

ChrissyRyan:
Dayle,

Your progress will continue!

Chrissy

Rakel:
Dear Dayle,

Been there and done that.  :P

Yes, I got some strange looks and insulting comments, but I felt so good about myself, that I did not care what anyone else thought. I had my therapist write me a letter of treatment, To Whoever is Concerned. This became my "Get out of jail, free", letter. I carried it everywhere I went.

After a few years of HRT and FFS, people really did not question me as much. It takes time and perseverance, but you will get there, if you just keep on track.

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