Author Topic: So now I’m really screwed up  (Read 731 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline MeTony

  • *
  • Posts: 1,473
  • Reputation: +17/-0
  • Gender: Male
So now I’m really screwed up
« on: March 08, 2021, 10:16:48 am »
Psychosis. Hearing voices. Delusions. Now I’m really screwed up. Actually been since I was 15. But I’ve been well between my psychotic episodes. Every time I’m ok again, I believe it is forever. It has lasted for 3 years at most. Then I’m back in this pit.

I will get at proper diagnose in a month. Psychologist thought it is Schizoaffective disorder and my sister believes Schizophrenia.

Oh well. What a future. I have not been to work since beginning of November 2020. I have no clue what so ever when I am able to go back to work. I can’t be psychotic, that’s for sure.


Skickat från min iPhone med Tapatalk

Offline Battle Goddess

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,593
  • Reputation: +29/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Mentally Interesting
Re: So now I’m really screwed up
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2021, 11:06:10 am »
Hey, brother! Nice to hear from you.

So sorry you're hitting a rough patch. They can be such a drag, and short or long calendar-wise, they do always feel like they drag on forever, don't they?

Schizothis, schizothat, or schizotheother, one thing I've figured out from my encounters with psychiatry is that the label itself of the Dx isn't all that important. Psychiatry is a most inexact science.

Rather, I tend to look at diagnoses as general guidelines in a cookbook. Such-and-such an issue? Try this first because it most always works. If that doesn't help, try these, and so on and so forth. If nothing is helping, you're probably using the wrong recipe.

To use an extended metaphor, when you're cooking Hoppin' John for a dinner party, you always start with black-eyed peas. But if the party needs it New Orleans style, give it a base of onion, celery, and bell pepper for Hoppin' Jean. You can also make Hoppin' Jack, Hoppin' Jacques, or Hoppin' Juan, depending on what flavors the party needs. I even tried Hoppin' Ivan once. That didn't come out so great. Can't win 'em all.

So... suffering sucks, and you don't deserve it, and it sounds like help is on the way. Now it's just a matter of finding the tastiest ingredients. Keep the faith. You'll get there.



Good luck.
"It's not really a choice. Because we're not choosing to transition...we're choosing to be happy." -- SarahC

"Freedom comes at a high price. But I have paid that price, and I am free." -- Muhammad Ali

"Have a gentle manner ❤️" -- Chrissy Ryan
"Working on it" -- Battle Goddess

"When going through hell, best keep moving." -- Old & KIA

“Darling,” She said, “it doesn’t matter. You have only one choice. You can walk farther along the path or not. It is a narrow path. You may be scared about lifting your foot up to take your next step. It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to step very far. It’s up to you.
"But all you get to do is choose. Your anxieties, your fears, your courage, your happiness, your rage: go ahead and feel them all you want. They don’t matter. What matters is what you choose.
“I can promise you a long and fascinating road. I’ll give you tools along the way. I’ll be with you every step.
“Now make your choice.” --  my beloved Battle Goddess

Offline Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 43,658
  • Reputation: +113/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • northernstargirl@susans.org
Re: So now I’m really screwed up
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2021, 11:47:33 am »
@MeTony
Dear Tony:
I have been following your blog/thread and your postings around the forums for a long time.  Please know that I am rooting for your success and happiness.... and certainly your well-being...   
... I am so sad to read that you are still battling your psychotic episodes after all of your doctor visits, therauptic treatments and medications. 
I trust, hope and pray that next month when you meet with your Psychologist that you can finally get a proper and correct diagnosis that results in a treatment plan that will work for you.  I sincerely wish that you can get back to a condition that you can finally go back to work again and have all of this behind you.


HUGS and best wishes,
Danielle

Psychosis. Hearing voices. Delusions. Now I’m really <screwed&gt up. Actually been since I was 15. But I’ve been well between my psychotic episodes. Every time I’m ok again, I believe it is forever. It has lasted for 3 years at most. Then I’m back in this pit.

I will get at proper diagnose in a month. Psychologist thought it is Schizoaffective disorder and my sister believes Schizophrenia.

Oh well. What a future. I have not been to work since beginning of November 2020. I have no clue what so ever when I am able to go back to work. I can’t be psychotic, that’s for sure.


Skickat från min iPhone med Tapatalk
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 42

Offline MeTony

  • *
  • Posts: 1,473
  • Reputation: +17/-0
  • Gender: Male
Re: So now I’m really screwed up
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2021, 12:19:38 pm »
Thank you two.

Yes. It’s about finding the right ingredients. I thought I had, but then I had side effects. 


I know I will get throught this. But I have made a discovery, it’s a hard one to accept, but I need to find another workplace. It is too stressful for me. Stress makes things much much worse.


Skickat från min iPhone med Tapatalk

Offline Maid Marion

  • *
  • Posts: 2,523
  • Reputation: +11/-0
Re: So now I’m really screwed up
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2021, 01:42:35 pm »
Hi Tony,

Sorry to hear of your issues though it is good that you have identified something you can work on.

Marion

Offline MeTony

  • *
  • Posts: 1,473
  • Reputation: +17/-0
  • Gender: Male
Re: So now I’m really screwed up
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2021, 07:13:47 am »
Marion.
Yes. That is good. The problem is that it takes so much time to do anything. I want to be well now.
But I guess I have to wait.


Skickat från min iPhone med Tapatalk

Tags: