Community Conversation > Coming out of the closet

Telling my dad im trans

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Chelsealouise:
Ive recently got back in contact with my dad having not seen him for a years
and need advice on how to come out to him

My mum died a while back and dads only just come back i dont want to lose him again

Battle Goddess:
That's kind of a poser, Chelsea. You could drop a bomb on him and have him be as happy as can be, or break it to him as easy as you could and still see him flip out.

I guess what I'm saying is that his reaction isn't up to you. You can fret about that all you want for all the good it'll do you, but it won't do you any good.

The best I've ever been able to do has been to do it in a manner I'm proud of, and to be as loving and caring as possible, and to let myself be satisfied with that.



Good luck.

Oldandcreaky:
Listen to Battle Goddess. As a goddess, she knows how life can be a battle. There's so much uncertainty, so much we can't control. Do the best you can as gently as you can. I'd lead with what you wrote, that you want to keep him in your life after having lost him for so long.

Sephirah:

--- Quote from: Chelsealouise on March 30, 2021, 10:56:24 am ---Ive recently got back in contact with my dad having not seen him for a years
and need advice on how to come out to him

My mum died a while back and dads only just come back i dont want to lose him again

--- End quote ---

It might help to have a think about what kind of person your dad is, sweetie. No, you can't control how someone will react, but you absolutely can control how you approach a subject based on how much you know about the person you're talking to. Whether they're someone who values someone being just straight up blunt and honest, or whether they're someone who would put more stock in you wanting to break the news gently.

Different people assimilate the same information in different ways, and knowing those people if they're close to you, can help you decide how to approach this. It's not necessarily always the best approach to just think "I'll just dump everything on you and how you deal with it isn't my problem."

Tell me about your dad, Chelsea. What kind of person is he? Or what kind of person was he the last time you had contact with him? Understanding someone else is a big step in understanding how to communicate with them.

*hugs*

Oldandcreaky:
"...be as loving and caring as possible...." =/= "I'll just dump everything on you and how you deal with it isn't my problem."

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