Topic: Practical Clothing Guidance?

[Aarbie890]

My spouse came out to me not long ago. We are still figuring things out, but we are supportive of one another and know that at least between us and our kids, things will be okay.

Not everyone may agree, but I believe that what we wear has power. .My sweetie is struggling to find feminine clothing that actually fits their body and looks good, and I don't know how to help (I'm a dancer and if it's costumes in my style of dance, I'm great but otherwise, clothes have never been much my thing). Where do we go to help them figure what looks good and where to get things that fit? Especially virtually/online? (We are still isolating as much as possible due to the pandemic and having at-risk kids). Thank you!

[Northern Star Girl]

@Aarbie890
Dear Aarbie:
Unfortunately with the Covid lockdown rules it can be difficult to get out and about, and then to find stores that you can actually try things on.

Right at first, it is important to get a good idea regarding sizes.  Don't spend a lot of money right at first trying to find clothing that fits well.   I might even suggest a thrift store (Goodwill?) that will allow the purchase of less expensive 2nd hand clothing so you can better pin down styles and sizes that work well and fit properly.

Then, after you can get a better idea of all of that, you can try mail order .... be sure to checkout the return policy.

I am wishing you both well and hopefully you will find what you are looking for.

HUGS and best wishes,
Danielle

[Devlyn]

Amazon Wardrobe is a "try it before you buy it" platform. You get  seven days to try things on at home and you only pay for what you keep. It does require a Prime membership.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Maid Marion]

https://lookiero.co.uk/blog/inverted-triangle-body-shape/
Most likely your spouse has wide shoulders and no hips, for an inverted triangle body type.
I'd start with identifying her body type.

Next step may be identifying colors that complement her skin tone.

I've returned two Amazon items via Kohl's and gotten 25% off discount coupons.
I had no hassle as I had the paperwork, but you can't just show up with the items.

Marion

[Aarbie890]

These are all great suggestions, thank you!  You are helping turn something that seem like a huge obstacle into something manageable.  We can do this...

[Devlyn]

These are all great suggestions, thank you!  You are helping turn something that seem like a huge obstacle into something manageable.  We can do this...

That's the spirit! 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Maid Marion]

Yes, prioritize and chip away at what she needs step by step.
I wore feminine tops with my old black dress pants. 
I figured the colorful tops draw all the attention anyway so I could hold off on figuring out what pants to buy.

Marion

[Anastasia]

I understand needing to try things on first! The larger stores have closed the fitting rooms, but many of the smaller stores have not. By large, I mean square footage and national presence. Victorias secret has closed fitting rooms, but Soma, same size store but less popular, is open. The smaller, "filler" stores in a mall seem to be mostly open, with restrictions. Weekday mornings are very slow and you can easily be the only ones shopping the store and keep your exposure low.

Sizing is tricky too. I wear 2x sizes, but L-3x work, depending on style. Wal-marts clothes, while getting nicer, are cut with larger breasts for larger sizes. Target largely forgets about the larger sizes. Kohls seems to work best for me size/shape wise. Of course, if your husband isn't a larger size, this doesn't matter, lol.

I first tried on womens clothes at the store, 15,20  years ago and was treated... poorly. Lately, I have been well treated. There is no reason to not try on clothes before buying, but everybody's comfort level is different. Only once has a customer been bothered by my presence, and she quickly realized I wasn't the weirdo she expected. I'll admit, I am a little on the strange side, but you only realize that once you get to know me! 

[RandiL]

Also separate tops and bottoms, much like what Marion said, are the way to go at first. I am US size 14 up top, and 8 on the bottom.

Thrift shops were how I got started but I understand the difficulty with isolating.

I hope you can have fun with this.

Sent from my dual-floppy Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

[RandiL]

... Only once has a customer been bothered by my presence, and she quickly realized I wasn't the weirdo she expected. ...

I ran into a couple of co-workers at a thrift store while I was trying on dresses, before I was out. It was like, oh well might as well own up to it. We had a good time looking at ourselves and each other in the same mirror. "Oh that one looks good on you."

Sent from my dual-floppy Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

[ChrissyRyan]

Wear what you like when possible and appropriate, age appropriate, that matches fairly well, and make sure everything is always clean and not wrinkled.  Sometimes another woman can help you understand what styles and colors look good on you.

Also:  The same size and fit varies significantly from manufacturer to manufacturer of the clothing.  Try things on.


Chrissy

[Nadine Spirit]

My best advice is to try on as many things as you can in as many different sizes as you can by as many different manufacturers as you can.  Imo that is the only way to find clothes that will actually work for your specific body.  I always laugh when people ask what my size is.  I'm like, for what, tops, bottoms, skirts, dresses, jeans, shorts, underwear, bra, and by which manufacturer?  In general for tops I am a medium, but I can't just buy any medium and be guaranteed that it will fit. 

During covid, and social distancing, and stores limiting fitting rooms, what I am suggesting is a pain in the butt.  When I first started dressing as me I went to outlet malls and would try on as many clothes as I could.  My goal was to try on clothes, but not necessarily buy them.  However with covid, I'd still suggest the same tactic.  Just try and purchase clothes online from locations that offer free return shipping, exchanges, and returns.  Oh and very important, once you purchase those clothes and they are being shipped, be prepared to send them back.  As in if you fall in love with them before they arrive fit wont matter and emotions of finally having the correct clothing will be overwhelming and most likely you make emotional purchases and not ones based upon well fitting clothes.

Good luck!

[Emileeeee]

I still don't have a style other than jeans and sneakers, but I have asked some of my more well-dressed friends for advice. They told me to use the monthly fashion delivery services. They send you a few outfits and you send back the ones you don't want, and pay for what you kept. That lets you try a whole bunch of different styles. As an added bonus, it can also help to zero in on your correct sizes, because those sizing charts are worthless.