Community Conversation > Crossdresser talk

level of secrecy

<< < (2/4) > >>

EmilyAlt:
Hi Stella,

Like many of us, crossdressing was a big secret for many years.  It was exhausting.  I came out to my girlfriend about 5 years ago....when I couldn't bear to hide it any longer.  She hasn't been very accepting, but it was still one of the smartest things I've ever done.  It was liberating.  And it was the start of my journey to becoming the real me.

I now go out in public day or night every chance I get.  Yes, the world gets to see me in all my girly glory!  I make an effort to present as an attractive woman.  I don't pass but I blend in pretty well.  Having confidence helps a lot.  It's rare that I'm misgendered.

I'm trans and living full time is the goal.  That will mean no hiding and no secrets.  There will be some bumps in the road....

My advice - be true to yourself.  It sounds like you'd love to go out presenting as a female.  Ask the women that know to help.  I'm willing to bet at least 1 of them would love to.  If not, get a makeover.  There are makeup pros that work with CD's and trans women.  But any decent makeup counter (Sephora, MAC, Ulta, Nordstrom, etc) is a good alternative.  Good makeup and a nice outfit will do wonders for your confidence.  Confidence breaks down barriers.  Before long you'll wonder why it took you so long.

Best of luck on your journey.

Hugs, Emily

EmilyAlt:

--- Quote from: Ciara on April 12, 2021, 08:13:22 am ---I have been cross dressing since I was a very young boy. I dressed in my sisters' clothes and my mother's. My older brother caught me once when I was about 10 years old and said little. I think he just put it down to childhood play.......he didn't know that I yearned to be a girl. When I was in my teens my father very nearly caught me. That was a lucky escape for me as he was old fashioned in many ways and would not have been impressed with me.
I'm now in my sixties and nobody knows that I cross dress or have transgender thoughts. I am 100% in the closet. My wife would be devastated if she learned that I carried a secret for the 40 years we have been together. I sometimes think it is sad that I have never been able to share my love of being feminine. It would be so nice if we could both dress up and be two ladies together but that's how it is.
I've never gone out dressed but I often go out wearing a bra, underwear, subtle makeup and a unisex garment. Nobody notices except me and that makes me feel good  :)

--- End quote ---
Ciara - I'm sorry to hear about your situation.  But I'm glad you found us and have an outlet to talk about it.  FWIW, I know someone that socially transitioned when she was 74.  She'd been married to her wife for 45 years.  They're still together 5 years later.  Obviously her wife was shocked and there were plenty of difficult days.  But they kept talking and got into counseling.  Now they have an equitable arrangement and they're both happy.  Something to consider.

Emily

Ciara:
Hi Emily,
Thank you for your advice.....never say never I suppose.
BTW you look stunning in your avatar photo 🙂.
Ciara.

JamieSmiths1701:
I completely understand the secrecy issue, I was never caught by my siblings.
I started when I was in elementary school.  My mom caught me twice, did not say much, never my dad.  I can truly understand the level of secrecy that you must keep.  I was caught by my wife once, and she . . . well we almost got divorced about it.  I do not CD much any more because my disabled non-binary daughter lives with me 24/7 because he cannot get around very well.  He is quite liberal, and probably would be accepting.  I am just not sure because for me it is more about stress relief than it is about being female.  I suppose my first chance to try to pass will be at Halloween.  I have to wear medical support hose so that part has no effect on me. 
I am 6' 180, what size dress and bra would I be looking for? 

Northern Star Girl:

--- Quote from: JamieSmiths1701 on April 27, 2021, 09:35:40 pm ---I completely understand the secrecy issue, I was never caught by my siblings.
I started when I was in elementary school.  My mom caught me twice, did not say much, never my dad.  I can truly understand the level of secrecy that you must keep.  I was caught by my wife once, and she . . . well we almost got divorced about it.  I do not CD much any more because my disabled non-binary daughter lives with me 24/7 because he cannot get around very well.  He is quite liberal, and probably would be accepting.  I am just not sure because for me it is more about stress relief than it is about being female.  I suppose my first chance to try to pass will be at Halloween.  I have to wear medical support hose so that part has no effect on me. 
I am 6' 180, what size dress and bra would I be looking for?

--- End quote ---
@JamieSmiths1701
Dear JamieSmiths1701
    Please know that I am not trying to hijack your post and your questions and concerns but first I wish to Officially Welcome YOU to Susan's Place.

    I am happy to see that you have signed up as a member of Susan's Place and have submitted your first posting. 

    As you post here on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you wrote about.
 
    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation as you continue to feel free to share it.

You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.   Other members will be along shortly to give you their thoughts about your questions and concerns that you mentioned in your very first posting.
   
    There are informational and important LINKS that I have included below.   You will find information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask....

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 
Things that you should readSite Terms of Service & Rules to Live ByStandard Terms & DefinitionsPost Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)Cautionary NoteReputation rulesNews posting & quoting guidelinesPhoto, avatars, & signature images policyMembership Agreement

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page

Go to full version