Topic: Are you treated "badly" as a woman?

[CosmicJoke]

Hi everyone. I think alot of people have a hard time wrapping their head around us because they think we will be treated "badly." Personally I don't believe this to be completely true. I have been treated like dirt by some people but I have also come across some nice people. There are things I see happening such as guys opening doors for me every now and then. I've also experienced guys feeling really guilty and apologizing profusely if they used curse words around me.
I think the point is I am treated differently as a woman but it's not like all of it is "bad" like some might think. Even when living as a boy I got treated with disrespect every now and then. I don't think anyone is really treated with respect all of the time. So why do you think some people think we're out of our minds to transition into women? That is what we are isn't it?

[RandiL]

I was told (by cis women) that I was stupid for wanting to trade in my white male privilege for the lower status often afforded women. They get talked over by men, lower pay, ignored or talked down to, those kinds of things. Not all the time of course, but it's an ongoing problem.

This is not a trans thing, except that individuals who transition either way will experience it from both sides and may feel the differences acutely.

Sent from my dual-floppy Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

[Battle Goddess]

Other than a couple of times (which I have kvetched about extensively in my blog), my experiences have ranged from fairly positive to enthusiastically supportive.

More supportive than I've wanted, sometimes. There's been an aspect of virtue signaling to some of it, and of excitement that one is acquainted with a trans person. I've been outed a couple of times by such well-meaning but overly thrilled people.

Not that it makes a huge difference to me now that I'm confident and comfortable, but I had to school one of them on why you don't do that sort of thing to persecuted minorities. Came as a real shock to them.

[Lady Sarah]

The bare truth is that I have been treated far worse in my former life than I have as a woman.

[Maid Marion]

I get treated better presenting as a woman than as a short guy.

A big difference is that as a short guy, clothes rarely fit well, and that leads to a bad initial impression.

Women's clothes fit me amazingly well, which means I've been able to buy really nice clothes and shoes online.
Where I live there isn't much of a middle class--you are either well off or you aren't. 

Marion

[AllieSF]

I have been full time for a few years, and cross dressing and transitioning and have never been treated badly, ignored once and treated obviously not interested once.  I believe that it happens, but as far as I know, I and all of my Trans friends have not suffered that.

[Rachel]

Hi, I think some people have issues with anyone that is different. I have not had a difficult time with other than my ex wife and daughter. My daughter is coming around nicely and my ex and I are friendly and occasionally go out for dinner.

I work in Philadelphia in a liberal company. Most of the staff are female. I find females to be more accepting.

I was at a party last weekend and had a lot of attention. I would say about the same as cis. I have been to other parties where I was treated very well and some less well.

The gym, I am a non-event. Locker Room and sauna I am a non-event. I like guys 100% so woman are nice to talk to but other than that i have no real interest. I think woman can feel when someone is attracted to them and will respond differently.

I have been full time since 2015. I had a lot of procedures to blend in. I blend well pass not as well buy ok.

 

[OzChick]

Hi

I work as a white collar worker in a female dominated industry so no problems there. Also, I'm not frightened of conflict although I look for ways to avoid it if I can. In my day to day life its all good. I'd rather have problems as a woman than continue to try and live like a man. ;-)

The problems come mainly when I do 'guy things' like service my landcruiser. Men are baffled on how to treat me. lol and I have a tinny (aluminium boat). I took a male friend out fishing and when we came back a man asked my friend how we had gone. He replied that we had caught some fish but to ask me because it was my boat. The man continued on to ask my friend what kind of fish to which my friend replied he had no idea but that I (standing next to him) would know because I had fished those waters for 20 years. The man then asked my friend if he could recommend good fishing spots to which my friend replied that he didn't know, it was the first time he had fished in a boat, that the boat was not his but that it was mine and that he should ask me. The man thanked my friend and went on his way. My friend was gobsmacked at the treatment. I wasn't lol

We also have a caravan 24' (we have 3 children). I reverse, my partner instructs. There are no arguments as we love each other and are an effective team. To get it in our backyard we have about 2" clearance on either side. We do just fine. At caravan parks when people see us arrive they actually get their beers and stand up to watch maybe anticipating a fiasco? IDK. When we reverse it in without any problems they sit back down smartly with awkward expressions on their faces. Perhaps they're poised to help?

Four wheel driving. Everyone thinks its my boyfriend's car. I don't have a boyfriend, its my car. Actually, after 22 years together, its my partner's car too.

When we were driving around AUS with our children and caravan for 3 months my partner was driving (we share) when we pulled up to a road stop. A middle aged entitled man seated there called out (while balancing a beer on his ample belly) "he's got you trained driving a rig like that sweetheart!". I walked around the car, put my arm around my partner and kissed her on the cheek, winked and then we had lunch in the caravan. His face was priceless.

The only downer is sexual advances. From women they're usually if not always sweet and flattering but from a lot, not all, guys I feel like I need to have a shower after some of the more disgusting proposals; yuk!

That's the gist of my experiences 10 years transitioned.

kind regards

OzChick

[noleen111]

I would say, my experiences have not been too bad.

work life, I work environment is in a retail environment that caters for women.. so i mostly work with females and I am their boss, so we dont get any real issues (lets say not to my face). I will admit none know that I was born a man.

Personal life, I am treated like one of the girls, having said that

I am very private about my past and the fact I was born a male. I feel I am an activist and I really just want to be seen as a woman. Only 3 people know about my male past, my mother (well duh), my best friend who is a cis-female and my husband.

So no one at work knows, my other friends dont know and even my step family dont know. To all these people I am just noleen. All these people came into my life after I was full time. I was a very lonely and isolated person as male. The female me, is out-going.. funny how you can change when you are the real you.

Life in general, I am treated like a little lady, you know when I take my car to the shop etc, she is a girl what does she know.. if I go to the hardware store with my husband I am just ignored..

[Emileeeee]

I'm treated much better in general since transitioning. Being a feminine man that also had to keep telling people they weren't a woman was sort of beneath the totem pole. I get talked down to a lot and talked over, but that happened all the time pre-transition too. Being treated badly seems to only happen on dating or social media sites where every guy that talks to me seems to want a one night stand and/or to cheat on their wives with me.

[pretty pauline]

I would say, my experiences have not been too bad.
 if I go to the hardware store with my husband I am just ignored..

I'm treat ok by my female friends, but in fairness they don't know I'm trans.
I actually don't like shopping at hardware stores with my husband, it's nearly always a daunting experience as I'm constantly ignored and talked over, and spoken to like a school girl, I overheard a sales guy whispering to hubby, ''most important advice in home decor is keeping the wife sweet'' it's so condescending and rude, hubby thinks I'm too sensitive, I don't need to be kept ''sweet'' then there's the sales guys calling me ''darling, luv and your ok dear'' anyway there are some gentlemen who do respect me as a woman, holding a door open and letting me go ahead of them in a queue, when I go to the hardware store with hubby, it a chore.

[ChrissyRyan]

No.  Not really.  I feel like I am not subordinated for or mistreated because I am a woman. 

Sometimes a misgendering or a nasty remark but most people are nice.  Ugh, those are downers.

But I am not full time.  Plus I am not naturally as good looking as many here, such as @Northern Star Girl

I have to work at it!  The less than ideal voice does not help either.


Chrissy

[CosmicJoke]

I'm treated much better in general since transitioning. Being a feminine man that also had to keep telling people they weren't a woman was sort of beneath the totem pole. I get talked down to a lot and talked over, but that happened all the time pre-transition too. Being treated badly seems to only happen on dating or social media sites where every guy that talks to me seems to want a one night stand and/or to cheat on their wives with me.

Yeah, that's interesting. I was thinking earlier today something that went like this; "I went from being something I didn't like to something people only want for sex." I guess you can't have everything, but there's alot about it that I like too.

[Jin]

I have by far been better treated as a woman than as a man. And I have been mostly treated well as a man. So, just be yourself and let others FO if they don't like it. There are <jerks> everywhere, ignore them.

[CosmicJoke]

I have by far been better treated as a woman than as a man. And I have been mostly treated well as a man. So, just be yourself and let others FO if they don't like it. There are <jerks> everywhere, ignore them.

True. Thanks for adding another perspective. :-)

[ChrissyRyan]

Some people are just rude or unkind.  I try to be kind to them too, or simply ignore them.

Chrissy

[Girl from Mars]

I'm generally treated much better as a woman than a man.

I work in tree surgery and have to deal with a lot of quite toxic macho men. The old me, a very effeminate bloke, was like red rag to a bull to a lot of these types. Now they moderate their language in front of me and give me a sort of respect I never received before.

Then there are occasions when I encounter men who are always absolute pigs towards women, and wouldn't dare behave the same way if they perceived me as a man.

[ChrissyRyan]

I'm generally treated much better as a woman than a man.

I work in tree surgery and have to deal with a lot of quite toxic macho men. The old me, a very effeminate bloke, was like red rag to a bull to a lot of these types. Now they moderate their language in front of me and give me a sort of respect I never received before.

Then there are occasions when I encounter men who are always absolute pigs towards women, and wouldn't dare behave the same way if they perceived me as a man.

It is always pleasant to be treated well.

Chrissy

[Northern Star Girl]

When I relocated here as a full-time woman to my small town in 2017 I was innundated with a half-dozen or more suitors.... most were very respectful and quite interested in who this new blue-eyed blonde was that arrived in their town.

Aside from rude and crude cat whistles and unsavory come-on and pick-up lines that I imagine that most women experience, I have to say that I am treated so very well as a woman.   

I am respected in my business as a CPA and shown courtesy and kindness.   

Once I developed a following of good friends here in my small town where just about everyone knows everyone else, I feel very safe and supported, especially if there are those that want to be disrespectful in any way.   

Some of my male friends feel the need to watch out for me and if needed, to offer "protection."   

When the weather gets bad with lots of snow and ice, as it often does in the winter season here, I can have unexpected help showing up at my home to plow my driveway, sidewalk and porch.  I will return the favor with cookies, cupcakes and other homemade treats.

HUGS,
Danielle

[Lady Sarah]

Rather than constant harassment when I tried to live as a male, things are much better.

For instance:  today, I briefly talked with a neighbor who happens to be Justice of the Peace. For no apparent reason, he asked me if I wanted to be City Judge (dealing with traffic offenders and fines handed out for not maintaing properties, etc). Right now we don't have one, and the position is word-of-mouth only.

I probably don't qualify for it, but am stunned I was asked. My old self would be under surveillance to make sure i never hear about it.