Author Topic: So, I was called a name today  (Read 498 times)

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Offline Anastasia

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So, I was called a name today
« on: April 23, 2021, 08:49:36 pm »
So today (well, actually last week) I was called a name. I am torn between being pleased about it and heartbroken that I was called it. I was out today, driving down one of the main roads in town where the speed limit was 50 mph. There was a car behind me that was tailgating me (too close behind), an 18 wheeler next to me, and I was doing 50 to 55. I didn't speed up and the two men behind me were getting impatient to pass. The truck moved over to the turn lane and the gentlemen behind me whipped out to pass. Unfortunately, we ran into a red light and had to stop. It is a beautiful spring day here and my window was down so I was easily able to hear them hail me with a nasty name. I looked over at them and gave them a smile and a wave. Traffic is beginning to move and they depart with a comment to get off the road and another derogatory word directed at my womanhood. My first reaction was to start to get mad, then I realized that they had a good look at me and still considered me a woman. So now I was happy! I know that if these two gentlemen had realized I was born a male but dressed as I was, they would have used a very different farewell and the end of our encounter.

So I proceeded on, happy. After a few minutes of reflection, and watching where the gentlemen went out of safety concerns, I became troubled. It is behavior like this that cis-women have to deal with all to frequently. While I expect hostile encounters when I am out due to being a transgender person (hasn't actually happened yet), to expect that sort of hostility just for being a woman must really be tiring and frightening. I realized that as I am out more, I will have to deal with this as a woman. This was also the first time I have EVER kept on eye on someone out of fear for my personal safety. Intellectually I realize this sort of treatment of women is a genuine problem, but this tiny little taste of the problem is my first personal, emotional realization of the challenges (and fear) we as women face.

At least my first hostile encounter as a woman went well enough that I can now suppose I am (sort of) a (temporary) card carrying woman.  I would love to thank those gentlemen for making this new woman's day!

Offline Rakel

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Re: So, I was called a name today
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2021, 09:47:17 am »
Your story is unfortunately, more common than any of us would like to hear about. Violence against trans women is a real concern for people like us.  :'(

I have one question. Why do you call these two people gentlemen? Their behavior does not qualify as a gentlemen's actions.




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Offline Anastasia

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Re: So, I was called a name today
« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2021, 04:40:57 pm »
Well, two reasons really, but they both come from the fact I am Southern.

First, I generally try to avoid profanity. Makes it more meaningful when I do use it face to face with someone. I generally won't call someone a name behind their back.

And context is important. "Bless your heart" isn't as kind as it sounds, nor is "gentlemen" in this case.  ;)

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