Author Topic: Extreme dilation pain  (Read 2443 times)

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Offline Emma Landing

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Re: Extreme dilation pain
« Reply #20 on: June 12, 2021, 01:06:36 pm »
Hi Jane (Lady Grey), thank you for sharing that. It’s encouraging and inspiring that there are often solutions. I’m so glad you got the issue figured out and you’re on your way to being completely healed.

An update on my dilation pain...

My doctors have been aggressively treating the skin granulation - I’ve recently had a couple minor procedures to surgically remove the granulation from within the vagina, and weekly treatments of silver-nitrate. It’s very slowly getting better, but seems to be helping quite a lot with general healing. I still can’t sit down in a normal fashion yet.

I stopped the deep tissue massage therapy for the time being, as there was concern it was aggravating the muscle tissue.

The first muscle relaxant I was prescribed did not help for dilation pain. A couple weeks ago, I was prescribed a nerve blocker, and a muscle-relaxer suppository that I insert into my vagina before dilation. And a lot of ibuprofen. This has helped by numbing the general pain. This has made it a lot less painful to dilate most of the time. Take away the meds, and I can’t dilate any longer, it’s simply too painful and I don’t have anything left in me to push through that much pain any longer. I’m already down to a 1” (25mm) with no lower to go (I was at 1.25” 6 weeks ago). Every day is one dilation at a time.

I met with my surgeons this week and they made a diagnosis. A couple posts above, I mentioned it felt like I was hitting bone when dilating. So… I’m hitting my pelvic bone (not quite literally of course as there’s still a layer of muscle tissue).

I'm scheduled for a "vaginoplasty widening” next month (I wish it was sooner). I got poor grades in anatomy class, so the details are vague to me, but I gather they basically widen the vaginal opening (it will require a skin graft, probably from my hip), and it will hopefully provide enough room for the dilator to avoid pressing up against the bone.

Unfortunately, the surgery isn’t a sure thing - it’s a major surgical procedure and a number of things can go wrong during the recovery and healing, and it simply may not address the issue. If this doesn’t work, I won’t be able to continue to dilate, and I’ll lose my vagina.

I’m hoping for the best. I should know in about 6 weeks whether it was a success.

Thanks again everyone for your sharing, encouragement and kind words. Best wishes to you all.

Offline tgirlamg

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Re: Extreme dilation pain
« Reply #21 on: June 12, 2021, 02:50:08 pm »
Emma!

Quite the rough section of road you are on with all this! I’m so sorry and sending good thoughts and prayers for your upcoming procedure!… Stay strong and keep fighting onward brave sister!!!

Hugs!!!

Ashley 🙋‍♀️❤️🌻
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

“The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself” ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸 Before / After
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251753.60.html

Offline Emma Landing

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Re: Extreme dilation pain
« Reply #22 on: May 11, 2022, 12:20:32 am »
As I near the close of this part of my journey, 15 months after it began, I wanted to bring closure to this thread, and share with others that there is hope for those that might find themselves in similar circumstances.

I did have my 2nd surgery, a vaginoplasty widening last summer. They did take a skin graft from my hip (leaving a slowly fading 6” long reddish-purple scar). Unfortunately, it didn’t help with dilation pain.

A couple months later, they tried botox injections into the pelvic-floor muscle in hopes that it would “relax” them. There was no noticeable improvement.

I had to decrease dilator size even further down to the Soul Source #P2, which was not a viable long-term solution, but by that point I was just trying to buy time for something to heal enough that I could eventually build back up.

Unfortunately, soon even the #P2 was becoming painful as the canal tightened. At that point, it appeared that would be the end. I started the grieving process.

I had a third surgery at the end of the year - a “revision” surgery - that’s now 5 months ago, and I’m almost recovered from that. I still can’t sit on a hard surface without discomfort, but little by little, it gets better.

All during this time, I was requiring silver-nitrate treatments on a near weekly-basis for granulation. I am still undergoing treatment for that - around 30 treatments over the last year. I think it will finally be over this month.

I also consulted with several separate surgeons at the start of the new year. They all had various theories on what was causing the pain - likely a combination of things, but a lot of it points to over-active nerve endings gone wild. I seem to have an exceptionally difficult time healing.

But then something happened around post-op month 10… I noticed that dilation wasn’t hurting as much. I decided to hold steady for a few weeks, and then began the process of regaining lost depth. Very slowly, month by month, the pain dissipated. A couple months ago, I was able to slowly work my way back up to a SS #1, and have recently gone back up to a #2. Now the #1 is actually quite comfortable and the #2 is getting there.

I was essentially bed-ridden for a full year while I recovered. The first 9 months was a living hell. It will take a long time to recover emotionally from the trauma. Doctors just did not take seriously how much pain I was in, and I am very lucky that the pain became manageable on its own before all was lost. I was naive about pain management, thinking that doctors would understand the severity and know what to do.

I am so fortunate that I was able to hang on just long enough, and I’m so grateful that I did. Because, for me, having a vagina is a miracle… I thought I knew how great it would be, but in hindsight, I never could have imagined just how amazing and wonderful it would feel both emotionally and physically.

Best wishes to all.

Offline Peeptoe

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Re: Extreme dilation pain
« Reply #23 on: May 11, 2022, 01:18:34 am »
Hi Emma,
What a relief! I was following your thread and chronic post op pain is something i fear. It fills me with joy to read that in the end you pulled through and your body healed! Sending love 💕

Offline Emma Landing

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Re: Extreme dilation pain
« Reply #24 on: May 13, 2022, 10:17:41 pm »
Thanks Peeptoe.

I think complications and revisions are underreported and played down. I think there is a fear that by admitting recovery issues, we feel we'll be judged, that people will project their own concerns about regret and think that recovery issues are at least partly psychological and our bodies are somehow rejecting the surgery because we're not transgender enough.

However, I'm definitely the extreme outlier, the one in a thousand, and the last thing I'd want to do is scare anyone. The one thing my doctors were right about is they said that I'd eventually heal.

❤️

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