Author Topic: Hi! I’m Gray (they/them)  (Read 170 times)

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Offline Grayboi

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Hi! I’m Gray (they/them)
« on: May 01, 2021, 01:44:08 pm »
Greetings all! My name is Gray. I’m 52 years old, just come out as non-binary, and am looking for some friends to walk with me on this journey. On first impression, this site seems pretty MtF oriented. I’m AFAB, but am really interested in learning about all of your stories, struggles, and successes! I hope to give as much support as I can to everyone and hope that I can lean on and learn from y’all, too.

While I’ve just come out, I’ve known I was different my whole life. I was three the first time I insisted that I wasn’t a girl. My only friends as a small child were boys, and there were no problems (except that I wanted a penis, too!).

I didn’t feel any real shame until elementary school. My little neighborhood friends and I had been very open about “exploring” our bodily differences. The Catholic school nuns had me convinced I was a freak and that any “exploration” was a big fat invite to Hell. I’ve been weird about gender and sexuality ever since.

Dating has never worked out for me. I’ve tried to be a heterosexual, cisgender female and failed. Being with men is way uncomfortable; so bad that I’ve never been able to handle any type of intimacy without being drunk. I’ve never even kissed a woman, but have caught some very hard feelings for girls in the past. It’s just so hard to think that anyone would feel the same about me, either physically or emotionally. I’ve never had ANY self esteem or confidence.

Depression and dysphoria have finally taken me down to where the only options are to come out/transition(?) or just give up on life. I took advantage of COVID lockdown and completely isolated myself from everyone except my immediate family. I’d hoped to just live out my life in solitude. I quit my job and moved into a tiny house in the country with my dogs.

Now I’m just lonely and confused. Can anyone relate?

Anyway, thanks so much for reading this. Looking forward to getting to know everyone!!!


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Offline Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
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Re: Hi! I’m Gray (they/them)
« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2021, 02:04:23 pm »
Dear Grayboi:
Thank you for following my suggestion and invitation for you to Introduce yourself here on the Forums.
Now that more members will be aware of you and also know a little more about you I am certain that as you exchange you comments and thoughts around the various threads and topics here on the Forums that you may even find and make some new like-minded friends here.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place and the Forums.
Warm wishes,

The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline RandiL

  • Formerly RandyL
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Re: Hi! I’m Gray (they/them)
« Reply #2 on: May 01, 2021, 02:24:49 pm »
Hi Gray, welcome to Susan's and to this warm and supportive community. I have found a lot of companionship here, such as it is online. The isolation of the past year-plus has definitely taken a toll on me and I know many have it even worse.

There is a Non-binary forum on here and I hope you'll check it out. Not that you should stay there; your experience, insights and questions will be most welcome anywhere.

See you around!
Forging my new, best life as Randi

My personal blog thread: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

My HRT thread: Randi's HRT Journal