Community Conversation > Transgender talk

I'm back...

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Maria2018:
Hello again...
I think it's just over a year since I was last here. There seems to be a definite pattern for me - things will lie dormant for 12-15 months, and then dysphoria and everything else kicks back in in a massive way for around 3 months or so  :-\
Although over the past however long it's been, if I've stopped and thought about it, (which I have), it's not like I don't feel like I'm not transgender anymore, or like I've managed to re-repress it (is that a word?) It's more like "Yep, that's still there... Okey doke, on with my day then," and that's been enough, no drive or desire to do anything about it further.
It's strange though, it feels kind of different this time around now it's kicked in again. In previous iterations it's felt more like, "I wish I was like this, but I'm not, and that's rubbish." This time around, there's a much greater sense of, "I AM this, underneath everything, but nature/chromosomes/society means that I'm the only one who's aware of it." I guess in a simpler way of explaining, before I predominantly felt like a boy who wanted to be a girl, now I feel the majority of the time like a girl who appears to the world to be a boy. A subtle difference I know, but I thought it interesting that there was one.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble! Just thought I'd re-introduce myself :)

Northern Star Girl:
@Maria2018
Dear Maria:
Welcome back "home" to the Susan's Place Forums.   
I am so glad to see that you are posting here once again.

In the following Link is my Welcome Message that I had sent to you back on September 03, 2018 in response to your first Introduction posting....
... in that message I had included the Forums Rules and other important information that will help you to get the best experience here on the Forums.
     https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,240625.msg2171687.html#msg2171687

Please know that you can come and go all that you wish, and be assured you will always be most Welcome here.

Thank you for coming back.  I am looking forward to reading your future posts as you share your comments and thoughts.

HUGS,
Danielle

ChrissyRyan:
Welcome back Maria!

Chrissy

pamelatransuk:
Welcome back Maria and I can certainly understand the subtle difference to which you refer.

Sending love and happiness to you.

Hugs

Pamela xx

Maria2018:
Thank you all, it's good to be back :)
I see a lot of familiar faces and some new ones too. It's amazing how far so many people have come in their journeys in the time I was away!

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