Author Topic: Hello from the East Bay USA  (Read 511 times)

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Offline MoorRain

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Hello from the East Bay USA
« on: May 22, 2021, 11:26:43 pm »
I call myself Muıгén Ní Sídach (sounds like 'moor-RAYN' 'ni-SHEE-dak)
The oversimple, literal meaning of my first name seabird, my last or surname, means daughter of the Fae, daughter of peace, or the peaceful people.
 
My preferred pronouns are She, Her, and I identify as Trans Gender Non-Conforming Lesbian
I began gender transition in the fall of 2003, reporting to work at Fifth Third Bank as per WPATH guidelines of the time for Real Life Experience in my target gender, a far narrower range of tolerance for gender expression in practice than is common today.

August of 2006 I had gender confirmation surgery.

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« Last Edit: May 24, 2021, 06:16:20 pm by Northern Star Girl »

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Hello from the East Bay USA
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2021, 11:33:11 pm »
@MoorRain
Dear Muıгén Ní Sídach
    Please know that I am not trying to hijack your post and what you have shared but first I wish to Officially Welcome YOU to Susan's Place.
    I noticed that you had signed up as a member of Susan's Place recently and that you have submitted your first posting.

    As you post here on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you wrote about.
 
    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation as you continue to feel free to share it.

You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.   Other members will be along shortly to give you their thoughts about your questions and concerns that you mentioned in your very first posting.
   
    There are informational and important LINKS that I have included below.   You will find information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask....

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 
Things that you should read
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline Battle Goddess

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Re: Hello from the East Bay USA
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2021, 11:51:14 pm »
Welcome, Muıгén Ní Sídach.

I always appreciate people honest enough to prefer that I keep my cynical suspicion out in the open.
"It's not really a choice. Because we're not choosing to transition...we're choosing to be happy." -- SarahC

"Have a gentle manner ❤️" -- Chrissy Ryan
"Working on it" -- Battle Goddess


Introductory Post: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,242617.msg2196235.html

Whiny HRT and Transition Blog: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244163.msg2217618.html

Spironolactone January 10 2019
Divigel January 20 2019
Estradiol Valerate March 14 2019

Offline MoorRain

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Re: Hello from the East Bay USA
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2021, 02:44:22 am »
Thank you Northern Star Girl :), and I'm not sure Battle Goddess :-\?

Offline Rakel

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Re: Hello from the East Bay USA
« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2021, 05:43:14 am »
Good morning Muıгén,

I transitioned about 5 years ago when the real life experience requirements were much less than when you transitioned. I am sure you could tell us a few interesting stories of what transition was like for you. Even in a liberal area, such as where you live, there are always some people who are not accepting of people like us.

In my opinion, it is very important for us to accept others, no matter how they chose to express themselves. Susan's Place has Terms of Service that clearly define how and what we can write here in the Forums. I think that you will find us to be the kind of people you can relate to. After all, we have the same issues. We just express ourselves as best we can, but in our own unique manner.

Take care and see you around.  :-*






_______________________________________________________________

Retired Pharmacist with over 40 years experience in Hospital and Retail Pharmacies.
I still keep my professional licence active and in good standing.


Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Hello from the East Bay USA
« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2021, 09:16:54 am »
Hi Muıгén,


Welcome!


Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Battle Goddess

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Re: Hello from the East Bay USA
« Reply #6 on: May 23, 2021, 11:16:47 am »
Thank you Northern Star Girl :), and I'm not sure Battle Goddess :-\?
You kidding? Open cynicism is the highest form of respect. Shows you take a person's ideas seriously enough to think hard about them and pick them apart.

Like I say, welcome. I look forward to learning from your experience.
"It's not really a choice. Because we're not choosing to transition...we're choosing to be happy." -- SarahC

"Have a gentle manner ❤️" -- Chrissy Ryan
"Working on it" -- Battle Goddess


Introductory Post: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,242617.msg2196235.html

Whiny HRT and Transition Blog: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244163.msg2217618.html

Spironolactone January 10 2019
Divigel January 20 2019
Estradiol Valerate March 14 2019

Offline MoorRain

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Re: Hello from the East Bay USA
« Reply #7 on: May 23, 2021, 11:07:59 pm »
Battle Goddess
I am not questioning anyone's intention, but only suggest a more nuanced examination of the difference between Scepticism and Cynicism.

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« Last Edit: May 24, 2021, 06:21:33 pm by Northern Star Girl »

Offline Rachel Montgomery

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Re: Hello from the East Bay USA
« Reply #8 on: May 23, 2021, 11:34:37 pm »
Hi.  Welcome.  My pronouns are she/her.  I have not transitioned at all, and probably don’t have a good understanding of what you have been through having transitioned more than 15 years ago.  I’d be happy to read about your experiences. 

You are obviously educated, intelligent and analytical.  I find that combination to be a very good thing.  I understand the distinction you make between skepticism and cynicism.  I hope you won’t be offended if I ask: “which are you?”  That isn’t a question I actually want you to answer to me, only one that I ask you consider for yourself.  I hope that you are skeptical rather than cynical.  I consider myself skeptical.

It is clear that you have been disappointed time and again.  I am sorry about that.  And, it seems to have tempered your expectations, and to perhaps have made you cynical (perhaps not).  But, that isn’t something you need to elaborate upon to us, rather a call for introspection and self analysis.

I look forward to getting to know you.  I have found this place to be generally welcoming.  I hope you will too. 


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Offline MoorRain

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Re: Hello from the East Bay USA
« Reply #9 on: May 23, 2021, 11:40:35 pm »
I transitioned about 5 years ago

Congrats on the milestone of your journey. I actually transitioned while living in Cincinnati, Ohio while working at the HQ in one of their Information Technology groups. As you might know, Cincinnati is NOT known as a hotbed of liberal or progressive thinking now. It most certainly was not in the early 2000s when I was living there.

I had no support community, the cost of transitioning was every cent I had saved and could borrow and in the end resulted at the end of my career, my home, an apartment building invested years in remodelling, the loss of my family and all the people I had thought were lifelong friends in the Gay and Lesbian communities there who to this day do not accept Trans Women as Women.

In the winter of 2006, I moved to Arizona where I had been promised a job over a phone interview. It cost me everything to move there for the job, and when I reported for work, they changed their minds. I found no support or sympathy within the Trans community, but never gave up trying to dig myself out of that pit.

In 2016 I got a strange call from my mother asking that I come home to see her. It turned out she was dying from a very fast, aggressive, and painful cancer. In visiting her every day I discovered that for more than a decade when I was being told she and my family accepted me, what they really were doing what describing me to people as her son who prefers to identify and live as a woman, basically a hopelessly crazy person.

My brothers also raised my nephews to see me as a hopelessly mentally ill person of low intelligence and questionable moral character. They even came around to the idea that all the years I work at the bank, my serving on executive boards, and elected to office was all my imagination, something I just made up.

That is what they had to believe because nothing in their world can make reconcile and a trans person who is a regular person, with a regular job, is married and serves as a member of the community.

Normal Person and Trans Woman, to my family and former friends, those are two mutually exclusive terms that cannot be resolved, and nothing I can ever say or do will change that.
   
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« Last Edit: May 24, 2021, 06:34:23 pm by Northern Star Girl »

Offline Rachel Montgomery

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Re: Hello from the East Bay USA
« Reply #10 on: May 24, 2021, 03:41:37 pm »
I am sorry that your family has treated you that way, and I can relate (not in that I have transitioned, but in that I come from a very trans phobic family).  I would be shocked if my families reaction were as mild as yours.  In fact, if I had come out in high school, they probably would have tried to have me committed and they would have insisted that I endure electro-convulsive therapy to "cure" me (because in my community in the 1980's, that was the response of local psychologists.  I know someone who underwent it.)  I seriously doubt that if I came out now, they would ever speak to me again.  I would be dead to them.  This is a big part of the motivation for me to NOT come out.


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Offline Battle Goddess

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Re: Hello from the East Bay USA
« Reply #11 on: May 24, 2021, 04:13:33 pm »
Battle Goddess
I am not questioning anyone's intention, but only suggest a more nuanced examination of the difference between Scepticism and Cynicism.

     <edited by moderator>


You, I like.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2021, 06:40:27 pm by Northern Star Girl »
"It's not really a choice. Because we're not choosing to transition...we're choosing to be happy." -- SarahC

"Have a gentle manner ❤️" -- Chrissy Ryan
"Working on it" -- Battle Goddess


Introductory Post: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,242617.msg2196235.html

Whiny HRT and Transition Blog: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244163.msg2217618.html

Spironolactone January 10 2019
Divigel January 20 2019
Estradiol Valerate March 14 2019

Offline MoorRain

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Re: Hello from the East Bay USA
« Reply #12 on: May 24, 2021, 04:32:18 pm »
I was born into one of the largest and oldest professional families in the UK and the US.

The town I transitioned in was Cincinnati, Ohio where my Grandfather, Braxton F. Cann, MD, born in Sandys Parish, Bermuda in 1900, was a second-generation physician and the first Black Surgeon and research scientist to teach and have operating privileges at the University of Cincinnati, Cincinnati Jewish Hospital, and Bethesda base.

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« Last Edit: May 24, 2021, 06:50:33 pm by Northern Star Girl »

Offline Rachel Montgomery

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Re: Hello from the East Bay USA
« Reply #13 on: May 24, 2021, 07:39:35 pm »
That is lucky for you.  I imagine you grew up with a good education (I mean, clearly from your writings you did) and good financial resources.  My parents are well above average as well, though not as wealthy or prominent as yours. 

I am sure that, nonetheless, you have had your struggles (particularly after coming out as trans).  I am sure you have had to work hard for what you have, and it sounds like you have overcome a great deal to be successful.

My father (in particular) will never see me as being successful.  I don’t think it would matter how successful I was.  He takes the position that since he paid for my education, that any success in my career is his success and not mine.  He doesn’t respect me at all, and I am sure he never will.  But, I have had to get over being a disappointment.  Most people think I am successful.  Staying in the closet has its cost too.  I have low self esteem.  I feel that dysphoria has been a significant distraction for me, bleeding off energy that I could have used for positive career development.  I spent years hating myself for being transgender, and feeling like I had an obligation to kill myself rather than bring shame on my family.  I didn’t kill myself though (obviously), so if that was a duty it is one I neglected.

Anyway, I serve on the board of a fairly large company, but yours is almost certainly larger.  Don’t ever let your family make you feel crazy or unsuccessful.  What you have revealed shows that you are someone who overcomes and succeeds.  Be proud of that. 


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