Author Topic: How did you know you needed HRT?  (Read 644 times)

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Offline flyinginside

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How did you know you needed HRT?
« on: June 04, 2021, 02:41:23 am »
Hey. Me again.

I wanted to ask everyone for their experiences: How did you know you needed HRT? What made you say, yes, HRT is the way to go?

(Bear in mind, I'm looking for a gender counselor and I've put my plans on hold until I've discussed the matter with a qualified professional. I just want to hear other people's experiences since few paths to HRT are the same.)

So, barring the usual tests to make sure my body's in suitable condition for HRT, I'm essentially free to start later this summer.

But now I'm not sure I need to. Like, I know I want to, but when I think of not being able to for some reason... It doesn't really distress me that much.

I think it has to do with my age, mostly. I'm 40, and I've spent a lifetime in this body. I don't dislike it, and I've never felt any discomfort one would associate with gender dysphoria. Plus, I'm a fairly pragmatic person, and I can deal with setbacks -- even big ones -- pretty well. I roll with the punches.

Still, I do think I would benefit from what HRT can do. I would be closer to having a body I'd be happier with.

But I have this nagging feeling like I don't need it enough. Maybe it's a little imposter syndrome-y, like some kind of poser. But I'm definitely trans; it's not a faddish thing for me, and there are far more convenient bandwagons to jump on, for sure!

I also can't be sure I'm not just subconsciously talking myself out of a very big change. This wouldn't be the first time I've gotten close to something and then scampered away at the last minute.

I'll discuss this all with a counselor, like I said. Just looking for some other people's stories to help clarify my own frame of mind regarding the matter.

TL/DR: I want HRT and I think the changes it would bring would be welcome. But I can't help feeling that part of me is just pretending, like, "Gee, wouldn't HRT be a hoot? Sure, why not!"

Offline Devlyn

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Re: How did you know you needed HRT?
« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2021, 04:00:37 am »
I don't describe myself as suffering from dysphoria, I merely wanted a little feminization since I was living full time in female mode. A wise woman here gently reminded me that wanting to change my body was indeed dysphoria, even if I wasn't distressed with it.  :)

There is no standard, no "trans enough" bar to clear. If you want to change your body, then you do you. I did, and it was the best decision I've ever made.

Hugs, Devlyn
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Offline Rakel

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Re: How did you know you needed HRT?
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2021, 04:59:08 am »
I was in denial for over half a century. I knew something was not quite right with me as a teenager, but the shame and humiliation associated with any kind of gender variance were over whelming at the time. Also, the professional knowledge about our condition was minimal or completely wrong at that time. This prevented me from acting on my desire to transition.

Later in life my personal situation allowed me to pursue transition. My transition started with hormones and OMG, I never felt so good about myself once I started taking Estradiol. At that point, I knew that living the rest of my life as female was what I needed. This included GCS, FFS and everything else I felt I needed. I was willing to accept all the personal and financial costs associated with transition. From that point, my transition was just a matter of doing what is needed and accepting the costs.

As Devlyn said, there is never a point where a person is trans enough. It is all a matter of how you want to live your life.

Today I am happier than ever before. My only regret is not transitioning when I was much younger.

Take care.  :-*




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Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: How did you know you needed HRT?
« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2021, 08:29:38 am »
Hello again Eleanor

Please do not think there is any question of not bring trans enough; if you wish to  transition to some degree and/or to explore HRT, you are very likely trans. No level or bar exists.

Please do not think age is relevant to transition as you'll soon discover most Members are around your age 40 and above and some Members considerably older like me aged 66.

I have always known I am trans but took no action (apart from crossdressing and bodyshaving) for the same reasons as Rakel. However the Dysphoria intensified as I got older till the dam burst and I had no choice but to seek therapy followed by HRT. I started HRT February 2018 and  very soon after I was certain I was at last on "the right fuel". If you choose to try HRT, it is usually at a low dose to start and increases over time pursuant to regular Blood Tests under the supervision of your doctor or endo.

I went fulltime after 16 months of HRT in June 2019 and I am having GRS MDV on June 10th. HRT  was the beginning of a wonderful journey for me.

I wish you success and happiness.

Hugs

Pamela xx

Offline Lady Sarah

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Re: How did you know you needed HRT?
« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2021, 06:59:46 pm »
How does one know they need HRT?

I do recall (as a teen) looking in medicine cabinets for estrogen. This was before I even hit puberty. Did I know I needed it? I know if I found some, I was going to take it as directed until it ran out... and then hope I can find more.

Life turning upside down and sideways like a crazy rollercoaster that lasts for years after years had me waiting is misery until that rollercoaster derailed. Only then could i get a physician to prescribe me HRT.

You know what? Yep. I'm addicted to it. After 30 years, I still need HRT every day, and I like it.
started HRT: July 13, 1991
orchi: December 23, 1994
trach shave: November, 1998
married: August 16, 2015
Back surgery: October 20, 2016


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Offline Rachel

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Re: How did you know you needed HRT?
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2021, 04:38:31 pm »
I knew I wanted to get rid on my T. I thought I would go on low dose and see how it felt. I went on a transitioning dose  when I was allowed to have HRT. I was not stable at first. I was not allowed to go on HRT for 5 months. I was not allowed to go to group for I think 6 months.

I waited way to long to transition and I knew i needed help. I got help.

I really love my body now. It was a long road to get here.

I was told that if HRT is not right for you then shortly after starting you would know. I knew I was never going off HRT after 2 weeks.

There were awkward phases of transition like going into the ocean with small breasts and a board top.

I had no idea how bad my dysphoria was until I was post op. HRT helped but GCS was what I needed.

I was afraid people would notice at work. Then I was a little upset that did not notice. Expressing was scary but it is really nice now. I love my long curly hair. I got power nails today, light pink. It has been 15 months since I was at the nail salon. I love powdered nails. I was going to let my natural color grow in but now I am thinking I really love blond.

I need to go to sports authority tomorrow and get a new gym outfit, just because. Ok, maybe two :)

No one can tell you if it is right for you. You can try it and see how it feels. Imagine a potential future red pill or green pill. You have a choice.

Rachel
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
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Offline flyinginside

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Re: How did you know you needed HRT?
« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2021, 05:08:39 am »
As always -- THANKS, EVERYONE~!

Offline Girl from Mars

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Re: How did you know you needed HRT?
« Reply #7 on: June 26, 2021, 08:23:07 pm »
As soon as I learned what HRT could do, I couldn't wait to start, and have never had so much as a second of doubt about whether it's right for me or not.

I used to look at myself in the mirror and think I could never possibly look womanly. Even when I started at the age of 43 I didn't allow my expectations to go very high. Now at 18 months, I'm pleased to be able to say I've surpassed my most optimistic hopes.

That's not to say I 'pass' or have become an amazing example of womanhood. What I am is acceptable to myself, more than I ever dreamed of being.

Offline Pammie

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Re: How did you know you needed HRT?
« Reply #8 on: June 27, 2021, 02:41:40 am »
As soon as I learned what HRT could do, I couldn't wait to start, and have never had so much as a second of doubt about whether it's right for me or not.

I used to look at myself in the mirror and think I could never possibly look womanly. Even when I started at the age of 43 I didn't allow my expectations to go very high. Now at 18 months, I'm pleased to be able to say I've surpassed my most optimistic hopes.

That's not to say I 'pass' or have become an amazing example of womanhood. What I am is acceptable to myself, more than I ever dreamed of being.
That is so wonderful to read and so uplifting. Congratulations hun! Xx


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Offline Devlyn

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Re: How did you know you needed HRT?
« Reply #9 on: June 27, 2021, 02:51:39 am »
As soon as I learned what HRT could do, I couldn't wait to start, and have never had so much as a second of doubt about whether it's right for me or not.

I used to look at myself in the mirror and think I could never possibly look womanly. Even when I started at the age of 43 I didn't allow my expectations to go very high. Now at 18 months, I'm pleased to be able to say I've surpassed my most optimistic hopes.

That's not to say I 'pass' or have become an amazing example of womanhood. What I am is acceptable to myself, more than I ever dreamed of being.

+1 for that.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn
Veteran, US Army

Offline Nadine Spirit

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Re: How did you know you needed HRT?
« Reply #10 on: June 27, 2021, 07:59:48 am »
I lived as a crossdresser for about twenty years or so always thinking I was not trans enough that I had to transition.  One day I was in a doctor's examination room speaking with a urologist.  What I had done was to lie about a prostate problem and convinced the doctor to prescribe me finasteride.  He had been prescribing me to take the finasteride for about 3-4 months at that point but I sadly had no signs at all of breast growth; which ultimately was the sole reason for my lie to begin with.  The doctor asked how it was going and being as I wanted to stay on this drug forever, I told him it was going fabulously and it was working great.  He was so happy about that he informed me he would be stopping the prescription.  I made it out of the office before my very first panic attack started.

That was when I woke up.  I realized I had lied to everyone, and endured awful physical examinations, all so that I could end up taking the wrong drug.  Obviously I was doing something to myself that I was only really half way consciously aware of.  It was that day that I decided I had to get a gender specific therapist who led me to a local doctor knowledgeable in HRT for trans humans.  I officially changed my hormones about a month or two later.  By the end of day one I knew I made the right choice and that I would never operate on testosterone ever again.

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