Community Conversation > Non-Transitioning and Detransitioning

I am a little stuck (May contain triggers)

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Rachel Montgomery:
Maybe this isn’t everyone’s experience, but I know some others have shared it with me:

My dysphoria ebbs and flows.  It rises and falls.  It doesn’t so much come and go (for me it never goes) but it does become very tolerable, and not distracting me for some time.  So, I can imagine it seeming to go completely away.  I know a transwoman who claims she prayed to God to make her dysphoria go away, and it did for 20 years, before it came back more insistent than every.  She has fully transitioned now. 

Lady Sarah:
As I can assure you ( and a great many others can ) if you are suffering from dysphoria, trying to smother it will only cause it to come back with greater pain later. You may have experienced some of this. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide whether or not to take action, and get therapy and / or HRT. Nobody here can make up your mind for you. Talk it over with your wife first. She ought to know you pretty well enough to offer fair and balanced advice... more than we can, because she knows you better than we do.

Rachel Montgomery:
I don’t know what “smother it” means in this context, but I haven’t transitioned yet, and still hope not to.  It would have serious consequences for me.  So, I need to try hard to find another way.

Angelaney:

--- Quote from: Rachel Montgomery on June 04, 2021, 10:11:43 pm ---Maybe this isn’t everyone’s experience, but I know some others have shared it with me:

My dysphoria ebbs and flows.  It rises and falls.  It doesn’t so much come and go (for me it never goes) but it does become very tolerable, and not distracting me for some time.  So, I can imagine it seeming to go completely away.  I know a transwoman who claims she prayed to God to make her dysphoria go away, and it did for 20 years, before it came back more insistent than every.  She has fully transitioned now.

--- End quote ---

I always found that things can distract me from it (work or personal projects), sometimes to a point where I forget it, but if I filled my life with such distractions I would just  burn out and maybe even send myself into another breakdown.

Rachel Montgomery:
Yes, you can "put it into a box" to contain it for a while, but eventually suppressing it becomes like holding an inflated ball under the water.  At some point, it is coming to the surface anyway, regardless of how much you fight it.

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