Community Conversation > Female to male transsexual talk (FTM)

18 years old and still confused


Crazy to see how long I’ve been on this website. Well as time goes I am still confused with myself. I finally got out of CPS on June 13th which was when I turned 18 and finally out of treatment facilities. Anyways I am still full of confusion and not sure what I want in life. I currently live in a transitional living facility and trying to deal with being an adult. I just hate these conflicting thoughts of still wishing I was born a boy and how I still look up to a famous gothic singer and bassist named Peter Steele and how I wished I looked like him and was like him. I have being trying to hard to get rid of these thoughts, what should I do?

How we see ourselves in terms of gender expression has a big influence on our future happiness. There is no substitute for professional counseling. I highly recommend seeing a professional counselor as soon as possible.

Hey, I'm just checking in--I don't come around here very much anymore!

Identifying with a public figure is understandable. We project ourselves and our hopes and dreams onto someone who seems to have what we want. But we can also get stuck and become trapped in a cycle of envy and longing. If you are a man, then perhaps you will move forward if you can work on being the best man that YOU can be, working with whatever nature gave you and whatever resources are available to you. If you are not trans, then you probably just need to figure out why you are fixated on this particular public figure.

I agree that a *good* therapist can help you to sort things out. You might be able to get low-cost or even free counseling through a local LGBTQ center. Your profile puts you in Texas, though, and I'm not sure of your options in that part of the country. Are you still in Texas? Have you made any progress since you posted?


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