Author Topic: Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.  (Read 1562 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Oldandcreaky

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,102
  • Reputation: +17/-0
Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.
« on: June 26, 2021, 07:50:17 am »
I see the pics of smiling women in cute togs posted here and I never post any pics, partly because I wear paint-stained olive green shorts everyday and a sweat-stained baseball cap and paint-stained tank tops. Even my skin is stained, as the bottoms of my feet never come clean in the summer. I do sit in the shower and wash them repeatedly each evening and the water runs black, but not black enough. The soil from gardening has penetrated the soles of my feet and they won't look clean again until late fall. Yeah, I'm a mess, but I shrug because when I take my evening walk, men smile at me and women chat with me and I wonder why I pass, since I don't use clothing to pass and I'm six feet, which invites scrutiny. Heck, in the winter, I wear a man's coat and hat because I like the sturdiness of men's outerwear.

My makeup eyes help. I call them "makeup eyes" because it looks like I'm wearing makeup, even though I don't. Being thin helps. Posture and movement are huge. I have always sat and moved like a woman. My hair helps. I've got a heap of it and it's still shiny, even though I'm old and creaky. I also have 35 years of experience of moving through the world as a female, so I know what to do and say; I've been socialized.

But, lawdy, I'm a dirty mess. My garden, on the other hand, wows. I'm in the process of laying a fieldstone path with a couple lovely curves in it. That's literal tons of soil to dig and literal tons of sand to shovel. Then I'll line it with blue green hostas. I've also been working on the soil of my coming big garden. I have its boundaries mostly built and I moved a ton and a half of manure to it yesterday, all by hand. See why I'm so damn dirty? I'm glad no one seems to care.

Offline Karen_A

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 352
  • Reputation: +5/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2021, 09:20:44 am »
I see the pics of smiling women in cute togs posted here and I never post any pics, partly because I wear paint-stained olive green shorts everyday and a sweat-stained baseball cap and paint-stained tank tops.

I don't post pics of me on the open web because of privacy concerns (Though it was years ago, I have actually been attacked on line by some TSes who tried to harm my 3D life), but also because of how I look. Facially I can pass because of FFS. But below the neck is another story.

Quote
Even my skin is stained, as the bottoms of my feet never come clean in the summer.
I don't think many people see the soles of your feet! ;)

Quote
Yeah, I'm a mess, but I shrug because when I take my evening walk, men smile at me and women chat with me and I wonder why I pass, since I don't use clothing to pass and I'm six feet, which invites scrutiny.

First I have aways said that (for someone who wants life a life were they blend in) if you need to dress a certain way to "pass" you don't. No one can be put together all the time and one certainly can't just relax and just "be" if you have to worry about how you dress to "pass".

That said I think most feminine clothes are designed to attract attention which makes people notice any "discrepancies" more. There was time during transition (after a year of HRT, having electro done and has style that worked OK either way) when when I dressed casual male when I attracted little or no attention BUT some took me as female and some as male and i was never harassed on the street ...

But when I dressed unambiguously female (and yes it was appropriately so both is style and situation) I did get some harassment on the street... IMO that was because it caused people to notice the physical incongruities with respect to those expected for the sexes.

Quote
Being thin helps.

In general yes. but when thin one's underlying frame/build/bone structure becomes a bigger deal. Height (within reason) is not a problem with the right (or at least not to far from the expected) proportions/body types for women...

For some being heavier can work better *IF* HRT puts the extra weight in the right places.

However neither is the case with me... I used to be very heavy but the weight never went to the right places. When I lost a lot of weight (at one time I was down 200lbs) my frame/proportions were too far into the male expectation range to not have some people at least "wonder" in this T aware age.

No hips nor backside but with a very big ribcage (as well as big feet and hands) when thin is not a good combination.

Quote
Posture and movement are huge.

They can be. Posture for me is an issue because of spinal issues. I grew up poor so my scoliosis was not dealt with when young when it was correctable. And even by high school I also had significant kyphosis , and being heavy for many  years, even over 20 years ago when I had an MRI done, I was told my vertebra had significant deteriorated. Standing or sitting completely straight is not possible, and trying is painful.... Physical therapy did not make much difference.

 
Quote
My hair helps. I've got a heap of it and it's still shiny, even though I'm old and creaky.

My hair is very fine with no body... and my hairdresser always said I should never try and have my hair long because of it. It's also a bit sparse at the crown.

Quote
I also have 35 years of experience of moving through the world as a female, so I know what to do and say; I've been socialized.

I have been full time for 24 and post-op 23 years, but things never quite came together for me. Some of it from the above, some of it likely from staying married from "before".
 
-Karen

Offline sandrauk

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 255
  • Reputation: +3/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2021, 10:29:35 am »
O&C
If you want to make it so the dirt doesn't penetrate, try some barrier cream. Only takes a minute and it does work.

Offline Oldandcreaky

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,102
  • Reputation: +17/-0
Re: Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.
« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2021, 02:57:54 pm »
Quote
That said I think most feminine clothes are designed to attract attention which makes people notice any "discrepancies" more.

Karen, that sounds right. I'm in the Invisible Age, as Marion calls it, where I've disappeared due to age. A smear of dirt makes me doubly disappeared.

Offline big kim

  • *
  • Posts: 3,265
  • Reputation: +16/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.
« Reply #4 on: June 26, 2021, 03:35:19 pm »
I don't pass. I'm 63, 6'1 & 1/2", 260 pounds with a voice like Lemmy. But somehow I blend in & am accepted, even in the most unlikely places I attend open nights for non members at my nearest Hells Angels clubhouse. They hold doors open for me & pull up chairs for me!. I don't wear makeup & dress like an outdoor/birdwatching woman most of the time in comfy walking shoes & pants, t shirt & fleece jacket. I have long grey hair I often wear in a braid or ponytail as it's often windy near the coast where I live & walk with a stick.

https://scontent.fman2-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/202188706_1492715147746337_6303039471902926361_n.jpg?_nc_cat=111&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=e3f864&_nc_ohc=4TshhrSUw4sAX9V483C&_nc_ht=scontent.fman2-2.fna&oh=be196245b2adb8c05a503595042a038f&oe=60DD3230

Offline RandiL

  • Formerly RandyL
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2,216
  • Reputation: +17/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • On the way
Re: Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.
« Reply #5 on: June 26, 2021, 08:38:25 pm »
Well I walked into town in sandals, jeans, fleece and a hat. Not attempting to pass as anything other than myself, but somehow a guy on the street clocked me and mocked me. Clock 'n Mock (TM pending). I guess it's good that he saw me as a trans woman?!?

My smartphone thinks it's smarter than me. It's probably right.
Forging my new, best life as Randi

My personal blog thread: Randi the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

My HRT thread: Randi's HRT Journal


Offline Rachel

  • Family
  • *****
  • *
  • Posts: 7,860
  • Reputation: +67/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.
« Reply #6 on: June 26, 2021, 09:53:47 pm »
I went to Costco and Harbor Freight today. I had on shorts and a top and sneakers. I guy held the door for me when I went into Harbor Freight. Costco, I blended in and was just buying my usual food. Nothing out of the ordinary.

My hair is very curly and long. I have stopped coloring it but I think I will color it tomorrow or Monday.

I went to a food store yesterday and got some simple mills product and a pound of swiss cheese. I was gendered fine by the deli staff. I did self check out.


I am tall 6'1 or 2. I have not measured in years. I go to the gym and lift three times a week and love it. I am thin and muscular with very little fat. No one at the gym looks or says anything.

I do not know if I pass. It is important to me but as time goes by I think I blend in well.
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020
Dr. Thomas laser vocal procedure 2/17/2021

Offline davina61

  • *
  • Posts: 7,477
  • Reputation: +13/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • The ramblings of an old dear
Re: Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.
« Reply #7 on: June 27, 2021, 02:19:58 am »
Your not the only dirty one, after a day working on the hotrod covered in muck and stuff wearing my old technicians work wear I still "pass" . 5ft 10 but chunky built 
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever.
I get pushed out of shape and its hard to steer when I get rubber in all 4 gears (Beach Boys ,little deuce coupe)

Offline Oldandcreaky

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,102
  • Reputation: +17/-0
Re: Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.
« Reply #8 on: June 27, 2021, 07:18:23 am »
I'm glad to read that I'm not the only one who doesn't wax and weave my eyebrows, but still gets along just fine. Speaking of just fine, that's you, Big Kim. You look like any ol' gal to me. Now, you might not sound like any ol' gal, but you look just fine. I bet you do get grubby, Davina. I once spent an afternoon removing silver maple roots with a sawzall and a shovel. I was as dirty as a person can be. Then I remembered to run a broken railing to the local welder to repair it. People were afraid of him because he was chronically cranky and incredibly filthy, but when he saw me that day, he saw his sister in dirt and labor and he smiled wide. So, dirt can open some doors.

Offline Rakel

  • Formerly known as Dani
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 4,920
  • Reputation: +81/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Rakel@susans.org
Re: Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.
« Reply #9 on: June 27, 2021, 08:59:53 pm »
...but when he saw me that day, he saw his sister in dirt and labor and he smiled wide. So, dirt can open some doors.

 ;D sister in dirt.

I can relate to that. Sometime a girl just has to do what a girl has to do. I clean up nicely with soap and water. I am sure we all do.  :laugh:





_______________________________________________________________

Retired Pharmacist with over 40 years experience in Hospital and Retail Pharmacies.
I still keep my professional licence active and in good standing.


Offline BritneyX

  • Formerly Known As The Closeted Bronie
  • ****
  • Posts: 273
  • Reputation: +3/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • MTF - Finding Equilibrium
Re: Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.
« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2021, 02:11:57 am »

But, lawdy, I'm a dirty mess. My garden, on the other hand, wows. I'm in the process of laying a fieldstone path with a couple lovely curves in it. That's literal tons of soil to dig and literal tons of sand to shovel. Then I'll line it with blue green hostas. I've also been working on the soil of my coming big garden. I have its boundaries mostly built and I moved a ton and a half of manure to it yesterday, all by hand. See why I'm so damn dirty? I'm glad no one seems to care.

I would love to have your garden, upgrade problem and all.  I just moved back Home to Texas, and have farming in the Family genes.  I will settle for a bountiful garden to fulfill my recipes with! 
"Out of all the attributes of humanity, the only one that matters most, is the one that cannot fail you.  That is Honesty. Without it, nothing else about your person will hold up." :angel:

Offline Oldandcreaky

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,102
  • Reputation: +17/-0
Re: Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.
« Reply #11 on: October 19, 2021, 10:40:13 am »
My garden is my happy place, BritneyX. Every year, utterly unlike me, it grows more beautiful. I like when drivers slow their roll to enjoy it too.

Offline BritneyX

  • Formerly Known As The Closeted Bronie
  • ****
  • Posts: 273
  • Reputation: +3/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • MTF - Finding Equilibrium
Re: Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.
« Reply #12 on: October 20, 2021, 05:11:36 am »
My gardening attempt in a group project back in Louisiana was pretty much a flop.  Bad soil, constant rain, constant insects, constant weeds and a Step-Daughter who planted the varities of vegetables without much forethought about where they should go.  My entire crop of Basil got destroyed by an organic disease/insect product that left the Basil tainted with an extreme peppermint taste.   Gardening is good for the Soul as the gardener is nourishing Life.   
"Out of all the attributes of humanity, the only one that matters most, is the one that cannot fail you.  That is Honesty. Without it, nothing else about your person will hold up." :angel:

Offline Jordynfae

  • Visitor
  • *
  • Posts: 10
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.
« Reply #13 on: October 24, 2021, 02:36:11 am »
I am tall 6'1 or 2. I have not measured in years. I go to the gym and lift three times a week and love it. I am thin and muscular with very little fat. No one at the gym looks or says anything.


I'm also 6'2, most people don't say much to me, But I think it cause my height is pretty intimidating, even tho I only work out my lower half lol

Offline Oldandcreaky

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,102
  • Reputation: +17/-0
Re: Passing, even though I am the dirtiest.
« Reply #14 on: October 24, 2021, 07:35:13 am »
My gardening attempt in a group project back in Louisiana was pretty much a flop.  Bad soil, constant rain, constant insects, constant weeds and a Step-Daughter who planted the varities of vegetables without much forethought about where they should go.  My entire crop of Basil got destroyed by an organic disease/insect product that left the Basil tainted with an extreme peppermint taste.   Gardening is good for the Soul as the gardener is nourishing Life.

So far, my garden is only trees and bushes. I planted about 80 trees this summer and fall and about 50 bushes. They're the skeleton of my garden. Next summer, I'll add another 50 bushes and then finally, the flowers and veggie beds. It all takes time when you're old and creaky.

Tags: