Community Conversation > Transitioning

Transitioning, then realizing it was a big mistake?

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Allie Jayne:
Sarah, yes, it is a mistake, but not one that you made! Your gender ID happened to you while you were a developing foetus, and dysphoria is forcing you to respond to your gender ID. If you resist long enough, it will destroy your health, I know from experience. You need to realise you have a serious health condition which needs treatment, and let you wife and others know that you didn’t choose to have this condition, but you must deal with it to survive. Make your wife a partner in your survival plan, and assure her that you are not choosing to take this difficult path.

I have found that when people realise this is a medical condition you are born with, they are much more accepting and supportive, but if they believe this is something you decided to do as it makes you feel good, don’t expect support. If you hope to keep your relationship alive, you both have to transition together, and she has to be involved in developing your treatment. I wish you luck, as this will be a hard road for both of you!

Hugs,

Allie

Nadine Spirit:

--- Quote from: Sarah Stevenson on July 03, 2021, 02:49:26 am ---...... and did you feel completely regretful about your decision and come to realize that you have lost everything and there was no way you could ever get that back?


--- End quote ---

No, I have never for one moment ever regretted my decision to transition.  Oh it has been hard, I have been harassed, I am discriminated against by my employer, and my wife and I have spent countless hours discussing our transition, (she is not trans, but when married and one transitions and the marriage survives, you both transition.) There has also been large costs, losing some friends, and actual monetary costs like about $30K in electro, ugh! 

But not once have I ever regretted taking this path.  I have regret I didn't start sooner, but not any regret that I finally accepted that I was born this way.   

Sarah Stevenson:
Hi All

I want to thank each and everyone of you for taking your precious time to reply to my post and give me an insight into your stories, I very much appreciate it.

I guess I am finally coming to the realization that if I don't continue with my transition and keep worrying about the feelings of others it's either going to put me in a mental institution with my very own padded room or kill me.

I have been sitting on the fence for so long and trying not to face up to this realization and worry too much about trying not to hurt my lovely wife and worrying about "looking in the mirror and thought I'm going to make one ugly woman" as Jessica Rose quoted but the more and more the months go past the more and more I see my real self.

It's 3 weeks till I meet with my psychologist again and to discuss the letter that she asked me to write to my wife, then the cat will be truly out of the bag with all of my intentions, goals and aspirations, so my wife can then make plans and decisions based upon what she reads. This will be a huge weight lifted of my shoulders even though I know it's going to be heartbreaking when she turns and say's "I want a divorce".

At least If this happens I will be free to get the ball rolling and rebook all the appointments such as electrolysis etc. rebooked.

Thank you all again for your words.

Love

Sarah Stevenson - Sunshine Coast - Australia

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