Topic: Help me stop looking ugly.

[maggpie]

I'm a 29 year old MtF living in San Francisco. I have been transitioning since 2016, when I was 24, but my results have been poor and I feel extremely despondent about this. I feel flabby, frumpy, and ugly 24/7. I don't really know what can be done for me other than lose some more weight and get FFS (this is not realistic for me right now as a borderline minimum wage worker).

I am on a high dose of E and recently went on a lower dose of prog as well, but I think at this point, what I truly need is FFS, which again I cannot afford. And no, I can't just get a job at Starbucks; they won't hire me! I've tried numerous times to get a job there. I don’t have the cheerful personality they are looking for. My life is far from cheery. I actually detransitioned back to male presenting in early 2019 for six months due to my immense frustration over my terrible results. Obviously the detransition didn’t work because I am a trans woman not a man.

The pics below were all taken within the past couple weeks. Honestly due to my low confidence in my appearance a lot of the time I just roll out of bed and put a hoody on because even when I try, I still look fugly.

[maggpie]

My pics didn’t show up. Does anyone know how to post pics on this forum?

[Maid Marion]

Upload to hosting site and post a link.

I use imgur.com

[maggpie]

https://imgur.com/a/wIqrARR

Tell me if this works

These pics were all taken in the last week or so



please help me..

[Maid Marion]

Hi Maggpie,

I don't see the need for FFS.  I think you look quite feminine.

I have an unusually thin waistline because my circumstances allow me to spend a few hours every day during the warmer months working on my flower gardens.

Marion

[Northern Star Girl]

@maggpie            
   I see that you are a brand new member here.   Welcome to Susan's Place and the Forums.

Go to the following link to learn how to post pictures that can appear directly on your posted comments.

                 Picture posting instructions
     https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,250315.msg2320348.html#msg2320348

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.   Other members will be along shortly to give you their thoughts about your questions and concerns that you mentioned in your very first posting.
   
    There are informational and important LINKS that I have included below.   You will find information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask....

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

[Nadine Spirit]

...... Honestly due to my low confidence in my appearance .....

I think this quote of what you wrote is the really big issue.  Personally I think you are super cute.  But it doesn't really matter what we say, because it is what you see and think.  I have only recently accepted that my largest anxieties are about appearance.  I speak to my therapist about this aspect of myself often.  The best plan we have come up with is that if I am ever concerned about my appearance I have to ask and then trust somebody else, like a good friend, my wife, or my therapist.  I honestly don't see what other's see, all I see is a fugly dude.  But that's not exactly true, nor has it ever been true apparently, well at least according to my wife. 

Oh and again, you are totally cute, entirely fem, and you are not seeing yourself properly.  I would never have picked you out of a crowd and said hey they were AMAB.

[Northern Star Girl]

@maggpie

One more thing......
If you feel so inclined please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum to briefly tell more members about yourself and to let them know of your arrival to Susan's Place.!
 
With more exposure to more members here you will be able to get more responses to your questions and concerns.
Wishing your well as you continue to be involved in the forums.

NOTE: Now, after all of this Greeting and Welcoming stuff, I will give you and other readers the thread back so that the conversation can continue on.
 
Again, I am glad to see that you have joined Susan's Place.  I will be eagerly looking for your future postings around the Forums.

If you have any questions you can contact ME via email    northernstargirl@susans.org
Danielle
Global Moderator

[Pammie]

Oh and again, you are totally cute, entirely fem, and you are not seeing yourself properly.  I would never have picked you out of a crowd and said hey they were AMAB.

I concur totally. You look totally feminine and cute!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Oldandcreaky]

There's an observation that youth is wasted on the young.

Well, your beauty is wasted on you because you can't see it.

[Jessica_Rose]

Dear Maggpie -- you are beautiful!

Most of us have the same feelings towards our reflection. I was certain I was going to 'make one ugly woman', but even before any facial surgery I had strangers walk up to me and tell me I was beautiful. You have very soft, beautiful features. I personally don't see a need for any changes.

Mirrors are evil, they only show you what you want to see. If you look for flaws, that is all you will see. Look for the beauty we all see in you, and soon you will see what we see.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[sysm29]

I don't understand - the girl in the picture is lovely, and beautiful eyes!

[ChrissyRyan]

@maggpie


You look feminine.   

Chrissy

[TXSara]

Wow!  You absolutely do NOT look like a "fugly" male (or female for that matter!).  I think that you are being way too hard on yourself here.  The estrogen has done wonders (at least from what I can see in these four pictures), and you have just the right amount of fat in your facial area to look like you have been female all your life.

There may be parts of your body that you have issues with that we don't see in those pictures, and that may be what you are more concerned about.  I can't see any of that, though.

Just so I can try to understand your concerns, can you talk about your height / weight, shoe size, hand size, etc?  Is it possible that you're having more of a problem with things that hormones won't be able to help with?  Is the problem that you were wishing to be able to live in "stealth mode" and you're finding that to not really be possible? 

Here are some things that I can say might help you:
   - #1 Dress sylishly for your age and body type.  Don't overdo it, or you will draw too much attention to yourself
   - #2 If you don't like your body shape, then start putting the effort in to SLOWLY work on it.  I lost 70 pounds over 8 years by just making small changes over time.  It's amazing how much a few vegetables will make you FEEL better as well!  Fad diets don't work.  Deciding that you want to be healthier and that you want to live into your 90's DOES work.
   - #3 Play on the beautiful "girl next door" look that you already have.  The reason why men like that "look" sometimes  is because it makes them feel like they see the beauty that others don't see.  You need to see it, and I don't know how to make that happen for you other than to say it's there.

I'm not trying to blow smoke... it's not my style.  I tend to shoot for the very best possible outcome I can get to, knowing that I won't quite make it.  The key to my happiness (I think) is the fact that I'm OK with the fact that I won't ever quite reach that "perfection".  Aim for the stars, then be happy with the fact that you made it to the moon!

"big hugs" -- I feel like you need them!

~Sara

[Kaleig_hC]

Upload to hosting site and post a link.

I use imgur.com

Information was not for me but this is the question I have bern wondering about since registering. You can't use your camera pictures on your ipad or phone. It looked like no way to post pictures.

[Northern Star Girl]

@Kaleig_hC
For your information:
              Trouble posting pictures??? HERE ARE THE INSTRUCTIONS
   https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,239999.msg2263037.html#msg2263037

    Susan's Place Transgender Resources »
          General Discussions »
                Frequently asked questions »
                      Topic: Trouble posting pictures???  Here are the INSTRUCTIONS

Any issues or problems please contact me...
Danielle    northernstargirl@susans.org
Global Moderator

Information was not for me but this is the question I have bern wondering about since registering. You can't use your camera pictures on your ipad or phone. It looked like no way to post pictures.