Community Conversation > Post operative life

Time, Time, Time.... See whats become of me

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Karen_A:

--- Quote from: Oldandcreaky on August 29, 2021, 01:33:13 pm ---This line has me admiring you: "But that is not my life, and I have a lot to grateful for as is."

--- End quote ---

Don't admire me too much. I am not that noble... I know I have had a much easier time and have lot more than many who have walked this path, and luckier overall than more than a few in other ways.

But while I am not really sure how to put the feelings into words, at times if dwell on things, I can still feel like I never lived or that my transition was a failure or I never really grew into myself ... Not exactly any of that, but as I said the right words are hard for me to find.

I guess that is residual dysphoria.

I am pretty sure that given everything,  I made the right decisions for my situation both for myself and my spouse, but that does not always help...

I don't stay in that place too long these days as I once did, but every once in a while I will find myself there for awhile with tears flowing.

-Karen

Pammie:

--- Quote from: Karen_A on August 29, 2021, 04:28:14 pm ---Don't admire me too much. I am not that noble... I know I have had a much easier time and have lot more than many who have walked this path, and luckier overall than more than a few in other ways.

But while I am not really sure how to put the feelings into words, at times if dwell on things, I can still feel like I never lived or that my transition was a failure or I never really grew into myself ... Not exactly any of that, but as I said the right words are hard for me to find.

I guess that is residual dysphoria.

I am pretty sure that given everything,  I made the right decisions for my situation both for myself and my spouse, but that does not always help...

I don't stay in that place too long these days as I once did, but every once in a while I will find myself there for awhile with tears flowing.

-Karen

--- End quote ---
I think one of the challenges we have is that we tend to have an unrealistic expectation of how we will look when we do get to present full time in our gender identity (those of us that can and want to)  - few women are beautiful and most of us just make the best of what we have and get on with life. I was an unremarkable guy once (a million years ago) and now as my real self im an unremarkable woman as I should always have been. I see me in the mirror and that works for me - well, it will entirely when I get my GCS.


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Karen_A:

--- Quote from: Pammie on August 29, 2021, 04:57:33 pm ---I think one of the challenges we have is that we tend to have an unrealistic expectation of how we will look when we do get to present full time in our gender identity

--- End quote ---

That was never me.

-Karen

Lady Grey:
I had my surgery with Doctor Heyer at Denver General (I call it that but it has been known as Denver Health for quite a while now). 
She did a great job (she was trained by Dr. Marcie Bowers).  They have a really good program, but from what I understand it's more hospital policy these days. They don't want you to catch anything while you're there.
My FFS was a 6 hour surgery and I was released as an out patient afterwards, again the Doctor didn't want his patients to catch anything at the hospital.  First night after my FFS was PRETTY ROUGH.

warlockmaker:
I also expected great change but in the end it seemed just natural. In the end it was the peace of mind that has been the greatest gift.

I finally  understand the amount of prejudice and lack of respect from males and how females are 2nd class citizens. its changing but it will take many more decades.

Congratualtions on 23rd anniversary.

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