Community Conversation > Post operative life

Time, Time, Time.... See whats become of me

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Oldandcreaky:

--- Quote from: Karen_A on August 29, 2021, 04:28:14 pm ---Don't admire me too much. I am not that noble... I know I have had a much easier time and have lot more than many who have walked this path, and luckier overall than more than a few in other ways.

But while I am not really sure how to put the feelings into words, at times if dwell on things, I can still feel like I never lived or that my transition was a failure or I never really grew into myself ... Not exactly any of that, but as I said the right words are hard for me to find.

I guess that is residual dysphoria.

I am pretty sure that given everything,  I made the right decisions for my situation both for myself and my spouse, but that does not always help...

I don't stay in that place too long these days as I once did, but every once in a while I will find myself there for awhile with tears flowing.

-Karen

--- End quote ---

Gratitude AND humility: There's no pairing more comely.

Pammie:

--- Quote from: Karen_A on August 29, 2021, 09:59:34 pm ---That was never me.

-Karen

--- End quote ---
Oh ok, sorry! Ur comments about how life might have been different if you were more passable and better looking sounds like that.


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Maid Marion:

--- Quote from: warlockmaker on August 30, 2021, 06:43:03 am ---I finally  understand the amount of prejudice and lack of respect from males and how females are 2nd class citizens. its changing but it will take many more decades.

--- End quote ---
I've often been identified as female over the phone, even before my voice training.
I've found it much easier to deal with the lack of respect when I'm dressed as a woman.
I see it coming instead of getting blindsided

Congratulations to Karen on the 23 yrs.  My world is a lot easier for me now than it was twenty years ago.

Marion

Karen_A:

--- Quote from: Pammie on August 30, 2021, 09:36:17 am ---Oh ok, sorry! Ur comments about how life might have been different if you were more passable and better looking sounds like that.

--- End quote ---

It's true i never had unrealistic expectations and it's also true that my life would have been very different if my physical characteristics had been more fortunate. Why should those things be in conflict?

 I spent years agonizing about transitioning because blending well enough did not seem likely  ... Not because I needed to be beautiful  or pretty, but because I just wanted to have a reasonably  normal life without the asterisk always hanging over me all the time. If looking in the mirror if I saw something that, with a bit of luck with HRT, looked like I could get to being able to count on not getting read, it would have changed the course of my life.

I eventually got to place where I had to try regardless, and hestitantly started the process in my late 30s.

-Karen

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