Author Topic: Sara's Wild Ride  (Read 16337 times)

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Online TXSara

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #300 on: May 11, 2022, 11:45:25 pm »
So, I just got back from Sambuca, and I had a really good time.  Michelle was a bit slow getting there, so I had to fend for myself for about 30 minutes.  I met a new friend, Sandra (shown below), while I was waiting.  Sometimes you just need to be pushed out of your comfort zone a little, right?

It's funny that I was just talking about taking dance lessons, and I ended up meeting a dance instructor tonight!  I exchanged numbers with him (no, not like that!!), and I may go for lessons at some point.  Pretty neat.  Some guy asked me to dance, and this time I went ahead after telling him I had absolutely NO CLUE what I was doing.  He was nice, and gave me a few pointers.  It was fun.

Here's a picture of me and Sandra, then one with me and Michelle.


Here's the band -- they were really good.  The party was still going when I left, but I just couldn't stay out too late on a "school night"  ;D



Finally, here's a pretty cool filter that Michelle put on a picture she took of me.  It's pretty impressive.  I actually like the original better, though.  What do you think?  Here are both:



I am really feeling like I'm feeling more and more comfortable out there -- a year ago, I would have been mortified if I had to be someplace like that by myself for 30 minutes.  Back then, I might have just left due to feeling so uncomfortable.  Now, I just strike up a conversation with a random person.  I'm proud of myself.

~Sara

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #301 on: May 11, 2022, 11:54:18 pm »
@TXSara
Dear Sara:

I love how your did your hair and your makeup....  you look absolutely beautiful !!!

That was nice to read that you found a new friend (Sandra)  while your were waiting for Michelle
and you found your possible new dance instructor too

So, getting "pushed out of your comfort zone" turned out to be a good thing...
.....the risk was worth the rewards.

Thank you for treating me and the rest of your avid followers to your terrific pictures and the description
of your fun time at Sambuca.

HUGS and more HUGS,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
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Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 42

Offline Allison R

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #302 on: May 12, 2022, 06:53:06 am »
Wow Sara! I am glad you had a good time. And you look marvelous!
I have always known I would have been happier and lived a better life if I were born a woman, I just didn't know that that is the literal definition of the word transgender.

If you're not moving forward, you're moving backwards.

Be tougher on yourself than anyone else is, love yourself more than anyone else does, and if there is something you don't want to do at all, best if you do it right now.

Offline Brooke Renee

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #303 on: May 12, 2022, 08:09:33 am »
Hi Sara,

Fabulous pics, you look absolutely gorgeous!  What a wonderful time, I am so happy for you! 


Hugs,

Brooke

Offline davina61

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #304 on: May 12, 2022, 10:21:28 am »
Nothing beats being out out ,looking great dear. Enjoy XX
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


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Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever.
I get pushed out of shape and its hard to steer when I get rubber in all 4 gears (Beach Boys ,little deuce coupe)

Online TXSara

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #305 on: May 12, 2022, 01:41:49 pm »
I love how your did your hair and your makeup....  you look absolutely beautiful !!!

Thanks, Danielle!  I have been working on my makeup "skillz" for quite a while.  It seems that the longer I do this, the less I put on.  Part of that is because I have pretty much completed electrolysis, and part of it is the HRT.  I really like the fact that I can go with the "less is more" approach nowadays.

Y'all are all very kind -- I appreciate the compliments!

Offline Jessica_Rose

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #306 on: May 12, 2022, 01:50:48 pm »
You really do look great Sara! I used to wear makeup all the time, I'd never leave home without it. When COVID struck I quickly learned that masks and makeup don't play well together. The convenience of not wearing makeup soon became apparent, and now I don't wear any (except lipstick) unless it's a special occasion.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Online TXSara

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #307 on: May 12, 2022, 01:53:33 pm »
FFS Update:

I got some info back from Facial Team about my prospective surgery date.  I had asked to see if I could have my surgery the week of Thanksgiving so that my sisters would be able to come without having to take a full two weeks off from work.  It looks like they'll be able to support this!  Hooray!

Tentatively, it's looking like my surgery will be on November 23rd (the day before Thanksgiving).  I need to be there on Nov. 20th, so I have to travel on Nov 19th.  This works out perfectly because it means that both sisters will be able to be there during the time I REALLY need them.  It's still up in the air as to whether either or both will be able to get the following week off (they are both teachers, so they would need to have substitutes during that time).  We'll need to stay in Marbella until December 2nd.

I'm really excited and happy that my (a) my two sisters are supportive enough that they would even WANT to do this, and (b) the timing is working out so that it might be possible to pull off.  It'll be really nice, and a heck of a bonding experience.  I gave my wife "right of first refusal", but she thinks it's best for her to stay back and be with the girls.  I agree.  It would have been a really difficult logistical problem to have both of us gone for two weeks.

We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up everybody and sing!


~Sara

Offline Jessica_Rose

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #308 on: May 12, 2022, 02:14:54 pm »
Awesome news Sara! Your sisters are really 'taking one for the team', I mean who in their right mind would want to spend a week or two in Spain?

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Online Iztaccihuatl

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #309 on: May 12, 2022, 02:38:42 pm »
Awesome news Sara! Your sisters are really 'taking one for the team', I mean who in their right mind would want to spend a week or two in Spain?

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Not just Spain, its Marbella, the jet-set hotspot. My guess is that Sara will not see much of her sisters at all as they will be partying all night (and then sleep all day)...

@Sara: I am so happy for you that everything seems to be falling in place! (I am also a bit jealous, but in a positive way...  :))

Online TXSara

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #310 on: May 12, 2022, 02:39:15 pm »
Awesome news Sara! Your sisters are really 'taking one for the team', I mean who in their right mind would want to spend a week or two in Spain?

Right?  It really was a tough sell, LOL.

I actually think it is easier to get help with overseas post-op support than if I would have stayed local!  ;D

~Sara

Offline Courtney G

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #311 on: May 12, 2022, 07:32:41 pm »
Go girl, go! You look stunning! We're all so proud of you. And congrats on the surgery date. It's really coming together for you.

Keep in touch!

Online TXSara

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #312 on: May 13, 2022, 02:18:45 pm »
I just got back from my consult with Dr. Sarah Saxon, and she gave me quite a few things to think about.  I'm still leaning toward Facial Team, but I definitely have some new questions that I'll want to ask.

As expected, Dr. Saxon wants to make the incision at the front of the hairline.  She DID, though, show me how she would work around my recent hair transplants, and it seems like she might be able to do a pretty good job of minimizing the issues there.

Most areas were "agreement" between her approach and Facial Team's: 
  • Both believe that the benefit is not worth the risk on any nose work
  • Both believe that I have no need for jaw work
  • Both believe that I could definitely use a genioplasty (chin reduction)
  • Both believe that I need a Type 3 cranioplasty for forehead contouring
  • Both believe that I should get a lip lift

The areas that are different are:
  • Dr. Saxon believes that we should use a dermal graft for lip filler taken from excised skin in scalp.  Facial Team believes it is best to wait for any fillers
  • Dr. Saxon believes it would be fine to go ahead and do a neck / lower facelift at the same time since she's only touching the chin -- she says that the swelling from chin only will not badly affect outcome.  Facial Team believes this is a bad idea due to the increased swelling, and I should wait 6 months for the facelift
  • Facial Team believes that I would benefit from an upper blepharoplasty, while Dr. Saxon doesn't think it is necessary
  • Facial Team believes that the best outcomes are from a coronal incision + simultaneous hair graft.  Dr. Saxon believes that the best outcome will be from a hairline incision and moderate hairline lowering.
  • Dr. Saxon believes that it is much harder to get an effective brow lift using a coronal approach.  Facial Team doesn't seem to be concerned about that

Some other notes:  Dr. Saxon is singing the praises of using exosomes for aid in healing the area around the hairline incision.  She also believes that my skin could really benefit from Morpheus8 treatment (3 sessions) prior to having a lower facelift.  These aren't necessarily "differences", but they are things that I'll want to research.

Dr. Saxon is coming in about $10k lower than Facial Team, and this quote includes a lower facelift, but no blepharoplasty / hair transplants.

While I know that Dr. Saxon is a good surgeon (I have a friend who used her for FFS, and she looks great), there's just something that really appeals to me about having a team of surgeons.  Each has his specific expertise and performs the exact same surgery over and over.  I feel like there's just less risk there.  I also believe that no matter how good you are, people get tired.  It is hard to be "ON" for 8 hours straight, so the "tag team" approach appeals to me there as well.  I don't think that any one person will be working on me for more than 3 hours.  Finally, I'm in agreement with the general viewpoint that a more natural result is achieved through hair transplants vs. hairline lowering (even though it's more difficult, time consuming, and expensive).

I think that by the time I add on the facelift 6 months later, the price difference will be close to $25k.  That's a LOT of money, folks.  I'm not made out of money, but at the same time I look at this as a one-time life-changing event.  I really don't want to make my decisions based on price here.  ???

In the end, I think that I'm still going to go with Facial Team.  I see them as a "well oiled machine" that will get very repeatable results with the techniques and processes that they employ.  It's going to cost me a lot of money, but I won't ever have regrets or "what if" questions.

~Sara


Online TXSara

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #313 on: May 13, 2022, 04:35:03 pm »
Yesterday, I got to have dinner and drinks with one of my best friends who is in town for work.  He lives in San Francisco, so we don't get to see each other but once every year or so.  This person was the best man in my wedding, so pretty close friend.

This was the first time we have had a chance to really talk about my transition in person -- we had a good conversation over the phone back in January, but it's always better in person, you know?  It was nice.  It's funny how I'm always worrying that things are going to be "weird", but they never really are.

It turns out that I had two other (not quite as close) friends who are also in town for work (this time from Boston), and my friend Liz invited everyone out to local bar in Plano to hang out.  It was nice getting to see all of these people (all of which know about Sara and are extremely supportive).

---------------------------------

On a less happy note, I was really excited today when I saw a FedEx package waiting for me.  My new Aggie ring was HERE!  I opened the package, and "sad trombone."  The ring was 2.5 sizes too big, and it was antique finish rather than natural.  Seriously?  Crud.  I talked to Balfour customer service, and they're sending me everything I need to pack it up and send it back.  I guess I'll be going ringless for another month or so...

~Sara

Offline Jessica_Rose

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #314 on: May 13, 2022, 06:57:56 pm »
Wow, those last two updates cover a lot of ground!

I'm not a surgeon, and I don't play one on TV (although I may have played 'doctor' a few times in the past). I have had over 24hrs of surgery, and all I remember is that the pharmaceuticals administered before surgery knock you out really fast! As far as surgery, I think having a secondary surgery is actually a good idea. It gives everything a chance to heal well, and if anything needs more work you can have it taken care of during the second session. It's your face, it's who you will be seeing in the mirror every day of your life, you want it to reflect who you are.

I'm happy to hear that your outing with friends went well. In my experience, most people turn out to be more accepting than expected. Unfortunately, there will always be a few who drift away.

Sorry to hear that your new ring wasn't quite what you expected. Hopefully Balfour will take care of you quickly.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Online TXSara

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #315 on: May 19, 2022, 08:37:40 pm »
So, yesterday was my monthly meetup in Addison with all of my local transgender friends.  Because I'm a complete doofus, I forgot about it and had already made plans with my friend Lu for the night.  Luckily, I was still able to hang with my friends Alina and Zoey because they came and met up with us later!

This was a pretty big night for me because there really aren't very many people outside my wife and kids that know me in both roles.  I have "Brian" friends, and I have "Sara" friends.  While there are many people in my life who know about my transition, very few have actually seen me and interacted with me that way.  Lu is one of the first.

I was worried that I would feel embarrassed or awkward going over to her place in girl mode, but that didn't happen.  I walked up just like any other normal day.  No sweat.  We had some really good conversation, then did the drinks and dancing thing.  It was fun.

Here are some pics:  #1 is with Lu, and #2 is with Lu, Alina, and Zoey.



One sort of funny but embarrassing moment:  I'm in the restroom, and the stall door won't completely lock.  I don't think about it and go about my business.  This younger woman starts to barge in, and of course catches me by surprise.  Because I'm startled, I totally go "male voice" when trying to let her know someone is in there.  When I get out, she and her friend are standing back watching me.  As I walk out of the restroom, I hear giggling.  This would have probably bothered me for days 6 months ago.  Now I just laugh it off.  I'm glad I was able to provide them with a funny anecdote to tell their friends at work.

On a little more serious note, Lu and I had a long conversation about my relationship with my wife.  She is one of my wife's really good friends, so she has a good perspective on it all.  We discussed a lot of things, but one thing she said really stuck and has been with me all day.  "You know, she deserves better than this.  She deserves to be with someone who really desires her, and you don't.  You need to just let her go."  She wasn't trying to be mean -- she was just telling it like it is.  Still, it hurt a bit.  I don't like the feeling that I'm hurting my wife by loving her.  That's rough.

~Sara


Offline Allison R

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #316 on: May 20, 2022, 05:09:43 am »
I am sorry Sara. You shouldn't let it get to you, though. I am sure you have a lot more info re your relationship than she does. It does suck to feel like you are a cause of pain though. Maybe a conversation with your wife is in order?

Allison
I have always known I would have been happier and lived a better life if I were born a woman, I just didn't know that that is the literal definition of the word transgender.

If you're not moving forward, you're moving backwards.

Be tougher on yourself than anyone else is, love yourself more than anyone else does, and if there is something you don't want to do at all, best if you do it right now.

Offline JamieH

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #317 on: May 20, 2022, 12:42:52 pm »

On a little more serious note, Lu and I had a long conversation about my relationship with my wife.  She is one of my wife's really good friends, so she has a good perspective on it all.  We discussed a lot of things, but one thing she said really stuck and has been with me all day.  "You know, she deserves better than this.  She deserves to be with someone who really desires her, and you don't.  You need to just let her go."  She wasn't trying to be mean -- she was just telling it like it is.  Still, it hurt a bit.  I don't like the feeling that I'm hurting my wife by loving her.  That's rough.

~Sara

She may be right, but always remember that this goes both ways.  YOU also deserve to be with someone who loves the whole YOU.  Wondering, is it true that you don't desire her, or is Lu misperceiving that?  If you're being honest with yourself, has your sexuality changed in general or specifically your attraction to your wife?  You don't have to answer, just asking rhetorically. 

Early on, right after coming out my wife was talking a lot like the marriage was going to end and she'd tell me that we both need to be happy and that she wants me to be with someone who loves everything about me, including this newly revealed part of myself.  Took me a long time to get over feeling sorry for myself, but she's right and I want the same for her.  I'm still hopeful my marriage can survive, but I need to be with someone who is attracted to me as a woman, and my wife probably needs a man.  It's not easy to accept, but I suppose it is what it is.

Online TXSara

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #318 on: May 20, 2022, 02:13:38 pm »
She may be right, but always remember that this goes both ways.  YOU also deserve to be with someone who loves the whole YOU.  Wondering, is it true that you don't desire her, or is Lu misperceiving that?  If you're being honest with yourself, has your sexuality changed in general or specifically your attraction to your wife?  You don't have to answer, just asking rhetorically. 

The truth is that I really don't "desire" ANYBODY right now.  Will that change?  Maybe.  Will my sexuality change with the hormones?  I don't THINK so, but who is to know at this point? 

I think that's why it hit home.  My wife has a very high libido, and I really don't.  She wants to be wanted.  She likes the idea of being lusted after.  I can't do that for her.  It makes me sad.

My wife and I had a conversation yesterday about these types of issues, and she made a different comment that left a mark.  "All these years, I thought that I had found my Prince Charming, and realize now that I was wrong.  You have always been a woman, and neither of us knew it.  I should have."

~Sara


Offline JamieH

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Re: Sara's Wild Ride
« Reply #319 on: May 20, 2022, 11:15:35 pm »
That must have been really hard to hear Sara.  Open and honest communication is key but that honesty can really sting sometimes. 

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