Community Conversation > Transitioning

Did you lose friends/family from transitioning?


Hi everyone. I've heard many times that the biggest reason you shouldn't transition is because you could lose friends and family. I've noticed this happen a couple times as a result of my own transition, but I still don't feel like those were significant loses to my life.
I feel like I have more fun making new friends in the gender I currently present as. I think that it varies from person to person. In my case I did lose some of that, but they were never really "important" parts of my life in the first place.

Northern Star Girl:
The most difficult part of my transitioning was losing the closeness in my relationship with my mom and dad.  Years later there remains a deep chasm in our relationship, My dad and mom barely will talk to me or respond to my phone calls, but as I mentioned in long ago previous comments on my Blog threads and elsewhere on the Forums, no matter if they do not wish to accept me, they are still my parents and I will not only continue to respect them as my parents but I make a big effort to stay in contact with them even though I have relocated well over a thousand miles away. 
They almost never respond to my phone calls, emails, texts, and snail mail letters and cards but I always am certain to contact them on holidays, birthdays and other important days.

I do not want any regrets when they are no longer around.... then it would be too late to make amends.

I am very fortunate to have had an extremely positive social transition. I have lost almost no one, and all of my important family and friend relationships remain strong. I will note that I live in a liberal area (Maryland, USA), and most of my friends are mildly to very liberal, although even many of my more conservative friends have encouraged me through my transition. Honestly, my transition was hardest on my mom, but after three years of bumps and giving her time to process the change (and her realizing that none of her friends were particularly bothered by my transition), our relationship is great.

I truly feel lucky with this has all gone much better than I had expected.


I made 2 lists, 1 for family and 1 for friends. Each list had 2 parts; positives and negatives and I did them some 3 months before I went full time.
4.5 years later I find I was 85-90% correct. My children struggled initially but are all supportive now, my elder brother struggles still but does his best to be supportive. I lost my very best friend but I absolutely knew I would do so it was not a shock.
A small price to pay to live my life in full.

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I had lost my grown kids after I told them about my transition. At first they said they were supportive but after a history of behavior the reality is they don't.  It has been 5 years since I told them, and they still will not have anything to do with me.  Fortunately my parents passed away and they never knew of my transition.  I did make new friends and support with other transgender online groups.


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