Community Conversation > Male to female transsexual talk (MTF)

Is this normal?

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Rachel:
I too think going to a gender therapist is a good plan. You can find out just what you want and need to do.

I know with my therapist I practiced what I would say. From my experience, there are no magic words and there is no best time.

Having and experienced therapist you can ask lots of questions. Everyone is different and there is no one transition fits all. You are you and only you can decide what is best.

Rachel Lynn

Chloe:

--- Quote from: Feeltrapped on October 12, 2021, 03:01:48 pm --- . . the primary thing stopping me . . this trend of every time I do plan on it, the dysphoria goes away.
--- End quote ---

        Yep! Par for the course . . because FEAR of the unknown is a powerful thing? I too have my "kindergarten" remembrances (among others) and while HINDSIGHT is also a "powerful thing" that doesn't mean, at the time, we actually understood as much /rather/ it's "your perspective", much later on, that often wants to take back"the life we've all once known".

<-_ "transition" wrecking ball!

"Gatekeeping", here in the U.S. at least, is a thing of the past all must do now is  . . .
CHOOSE WISELY  <-- "You?"

Don't "come out", why do that, when still unsure yourself? It's often said HRT is a great "diagnostic tool" DO FIRST, see how ya feel, then TALK later and spare yourself some potential GRIEF (lol) until, if & when "caught out"?

Transition used to be a very private, quiet affair and always felt that BROADCASTING IT is just gonna confuse ALL more!

"Two cents" plz!

Allie Jayne:
Feeltrapped, Dysphoria can be relieved by doing anything towards satisfying your gender incongruence. This can be crossdressing (bad term), transitioning, or merely imagining yourself as your true gender. I think what you are experiencing is the classic build up of dysphoria, then your decision to come out satisfies it some, and it decreases. If the severity is increasing and the duration between attacks is reducing, you need to do something positive about it.

Please discuss this with your wife before you do anything, and don't tell her, I want to be a woman" as this is a sure way to lose her. Talk to her when your dysphoria is low, and explain to her that you are experiencing periods of stress, and you believe this might be gender dysphoria. Ask her to help you find an experienced gender therapist, then both of you talk to the therapist, and be partners in all the decisions from there. If she is part of the decision to transition, she will be far more able to accept it.

If you need to buy time, you can do lots of things to temporarily reduce dysphoria, as mentioned before, to give your wife time to adjust and accept. Don't assume she can take all this in in just a couple of days. I wish you luck in finding your path.

Hugs,

Allie

TXSara:
Wow, Allie...  I was about to chime in, then I read your remarks.

Spot on.  I've got nothing to add  :D

~Sara

Allie Jayne:

--- Quote from: TXSara on October 13, 2021, 03:40:44 pm ---Wow, Allie...  I was about to chime in, then I read your remarks.

Spot on.  I've got nothing to add  :D

~Sara

--- End quote ---

Thank you TXSara! I've spent 60+ years trying to work this trans thing out, and rivers of tears, so I hope some good can come from my experiences.

Hugs,

Allie

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