Community Conversation > Non-binary talk

how do you know if you are non binary?

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felixalex:
I will keep this short

My question is How do you know if you are non binary?

now and then I dress female other times I just either androgynous or I have to dress male

I never feel male while other times I feel female

Neutrois seems to fit or agender, but its the wanting to dress female I find confusing

Maid Marion:
Crossdressers typically can't explain why they need to dress in female clothes.  But they do.
And they most certainly don't want to become females all the time.

You may want to discuss this with a therapist to figure out what you are.

Most people would say I'm non binary because I'm not on HRT and don't plan on surgery.
But, I consider myself female.  I have an hourglass figure, have female mannerisms, speech, and walk.
I now work and play in obviously feminine clothes.  As well as heels and nail polish.

As someone remarked on another forum, I have "bikini confidence" as I posted a picture of myself wearing a Victoria's Secret bikini.  I think I look good in a bikini.  I don't need HRT or surgery to boost my confidence.

Marion

Nadine Spirit:
Once upon a time I thought I was non-binary.  Why?  I always wanted to go back and forth and figured that I would always be that way.  A variety of things led to me actually fully transitioning and that really opened my eyes for me.  Funny as most, including myself, would love to be 100% certain before fully transitioning, but that just was not the case for me.  Almost immediately after going full time I realized I only want people to see me as female and nothing else ever.   It was around that time that I began to understand that I am just simply female. 

All of these inner shifts were accompanied by lots of therapy with my gender specializing therapist.  She was super helpful in asking lots of questions to make me think and by pointing out things I didn't want to see. 

ChrissyRyan:
Dressing is a major part for certain but you just know that you are in the wrong body for you at some point in time if you are an MTF or FTM.  I am unsure about those that believe they are of more than one gender.

I love dressing femininely and being accepted as female although AMAB.  When I must present in a more androgynous or male way, that is most unsatisfying. 

When I go full time as my female self, there will be no male presentations ever again.  What would be the point?

I suggest talking with a gender therapist to gain clarification.  Accepting yourself for who you are is a big step, then transitioning is a big step, and I would take each step deliberately with much thought with no rushing.

Chrissy

Tess100:
Hello Felixalex,
I have identified as nonbinary for many years. I spent 30 years of my life feeling like what you describe.

Identifying as nonbinary has made sense for me because I haven't felt an overwhelming need to transition.  Identifying as nonbinary has also allowed me to explore my gender freely with out turning my life upside down. As I explore and gain more self awareness I may decide to fully transition. 

I would encourage you to explore other aspects of living life as a women outside of clothing and see if you identify with those things.  Social interactions, how you move through life and how you like to be treated by others are all good places for exploration.  This was extremely helpful for myself as I was able to gain self-awareness and see that as much as I liked wearing clothing off the female rack, my gender confusion was much more then simply "crossdressing".

Having a therapist, taking your time and not succumbing to others opinions of how you should 'be' or 'present' in life is very important. 

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