Community Conversation > Male to female transsexual talk (MTF)

marriage after divorce and transition?

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When I got divorced last year, it was initiated by my ex, and they used my old (dead) name on the proceedings.. I had not officially changed my name until the proceedings were well underway.. and so I received my decree absolute (final divorce papers) in my old name..
now, as I am planning on getting wed in the next 12 months or so.. I have to 'prove' I am divorced.. by showing these final papers.. not only does that 'out' me to whomever is marrying us but I also have to take with me my name change documentation.. to prove that is me...
So, has anyone come across this before? is there a way to change your name on a decree absolute in the UK? I can't seem to see anyway you can do it?

Allie Jayne:
          I am in Australia, but our laws are based on UK law. I applied (with my ex as co applicant) for a divorce in December 2019, and I had to use my legal name on the application, but I applied for, and got, my name changed in February 2020. The court date for the divorce finding was April 2, and I was pleased to see they had used my new name on the court documents and decree. So I was able to change my name during the proceedings. My understanding is that in official documents, they must use your legal name at the time, and is why my name was changed, but unfortunately, would probably also be why they won't change your name on divorce papers.

If I was lucky enough to re marry, I would have to produce a decree which appears to between two women!



Oh yeah.. thanks Allie.. I never really thought that.. my ex's name is also on the papers.. so either way it is giving some information out about my history.. I guess in all reality only the registra of the marriage needs to see the paperwork.. and they should be discrete.

If I remember correctly your fiancĂ© is in the US.  If you are going to marry in the US, you might not have to show your divorce decree. 

In the US each state can make its own marriage laws.  If you do have to show your decree with your dead name on it make sure you check the laws in that state.  Some states still do not recognize gender transition, or have strict requirements to have gender transition recognized (usually proof of GCS).   Also, some states do not allow same-sex marriages.  If the state does not recognize both, a transwoman cannot marry a man. 

The good news is that you can get married in any state in the US, and all the other states have to recognize the marriage.  That means you can travel to any state, which has more progressive marriage laws, and get married.  And it is all nice and legal!

I hope this is helpful,

Thank you Jane..

Yes, he lives in Minnesota, which thankfully is one of the much more liberal states when it comes to all this gender and sexuality business.. So there is no concerns there.. they do, however, ask for proof of divorce even if that marriage was not in the USA.

Our plan is to start the immigration process when I get over there next month. and as that takes 12 months or so.. marry around Christmas time next year.. fingers crossed..


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